Anonymous wrote:Unless she is failure to thrive or can’t keep up with other kids her age I would try and take a step back and stop worrying about it. I know it’s hard, but offer 3 means a day, 2 snacks and what she eats she eats. I would not allow dessert tho like any cookies, candy, etc unless a certain amount is eaten. I always did my kids age in bites and that worked well. Stop cajoling and bribing. Don’t give crap “ just so she will eat something” so many people fall into that and then you have a kid who only eats nuggets, hot dogs etc.

Anonymous wrote:Throw some pediasure at her?

Anonymous wrote:Meal is 'x' minutes long. She eats in that time frame or not. Little to no prompting beyond one or two reminders "It is time for eating."

Your role is to decide what food to offer, plus when and where. Her job is to decide when and if to eat.

Make breakfast nutrition rich if that is your best bet for getting quantity in.

Remove the negativity and stress associated with meal times.

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like my ADHD child when they were 4.

OP where are you getting your expectations as to how much your DD should eat at each meal? Your own ideas? Is your pediatrician pressuring you to get your DD to eat more?

If you want to break the cycle, decide whether you need to be imposing your ideas about how much your DD should be eating. A pediatric gastroenterologist can check your DD and give advice. Hint: they won't be in favor of threats, cajoling or bribery.

Anonymous wrote:How long has this been going on, OP? I know you said "always needed coaxing" (which is a problem, have you read Ellyn Satter?) but has she "always" eaten so very little at dinner?

Has it gotten worse lately, or does it wax and wane?

We never fought about food or even talked about it, so there were no power struggles, which could also be contributing in your case. And she wasn't filling up on anything else.

But even so, there were times, months at a time, even (though usually more like weeks), where my kid just seemed to survive on air. Then she'd go through a growth spurt and eat everything in sight. Or she'd eat a huge [meal] and barely eat for [other meals].

It all evens out for the vast majority of kids. On a year-to-year basis, she stayed on her curve-- about 15-25% for weight and 25-40% for height. I never considered changing her diet, adding pediasure, catering to her tastes.... just like with your kid, it wasn't a matter of her not liking the food per se. She wasn't complaining about it, she just sometimes ate very little of it.

I do think some parents err here and do anything to get food into their kids, creating pickier eaters than otherwise might be.

The only other thing I can think of that I think we did "right," or eliminated some possible issues, is that we all ate basically the same thing. If you're not doing this, I think this helps generally, almost from an evolutionary perspective. But that's just conjecture.

I have ADHD myself, and sure, it could be related. But I'd work on eliminating the power struggles and dropping the rope entirely. You've gotten some suggestions here. I think most of what you're doing is fine, though I never required X bites. But what does seem problematic is the cajoling, arguing, threatening and talking about it constantly. You are right to be exhausted by it, and it may be causing or exacerbating the problem.

Anonymous wrote:She is not going to starve. She will eat when she's hungry. Put out healthy snacks, invite her to eat with you and if she chooses not to, ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like my ADHD child when they were 4.

OP where are you getting your expectations as to how much your DD should eat at each meal? Your own ideas? Is your pediatrician pressuring you to get your DD to eat more?

If you want to break the cycle, decide whether you need to be imposing your ideas about how much your DD should be eating. A pediatric gastroenterologist can check your DD and give advice. Hint: they won't be in favor of threats, cajoling or bribery.

OP here- it's not that I have some set idea of how much she needs to eat- it's more that I think she needs to eat SOMETHING. 3 bites of any food for dinner seems kind of like a minimum for staving off hunger until the next day.

For the record, I am also not in favor of threats, cajoling or bribery. But here we are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throw some pediasure at her?

This. Or could do yummy chocolate Simply Terra's Whey powder shake from Moms Organic Market, blend with ice and milk, can add little Stevia if you like. It doesn't have weird herbal stuff added to it.