I mean she gets two snacks at school no matter what I do (and they are usually junk). Plus she’ll pick at her lunch no matter what. So I only give her one snack a day, but it’s after hours of eating snacks and skipping lunch so it’s a bit of a bind. |
That's why she's not hungry. She's getting three snacks a day. Can you send food for snacks and make it a meal vs. snack. Give her a meal right when she gets home. That's what we always did with our kids when they were that age as they were starving after school. Then we'd do a large snack/meal before bed. If she had breakfast, a snack at 10:30 and lunch at noon that makes sense why she's not hungry. With three meals and three snacks, if they are big, that's too much for a 4 year old. |
Yeah, when my kid was 4, he ate a big breakfast, including milk, at home. Then breakfast, lunch, and snack with two servings of milk at school. He was rarely hungry for dinner. We just got used to not “seeing” much of what he ate. |
Just let it go. The more you push, the more she will resist.
I have a friend who's kid sees a food therapist- rule of thumb, don't push, don't play games, don't bribe. If they don't want any real food but want ice cream, they get ice cream. (of course this depends on age and the child's health). But relatively speaking. |
I agree with many others here. Set a length of time for a meal. A countdown clock could help if she needs help figuring out how long a half hour is, for example.
Provide three meals and two snacks a day. I don’t get why you don’t give snacks on weekends if she’s not eating a lot at meals? It’s another opportunity to get calories in so I would absolutely provide weekend snacks. And if breakfast is her best meal, put more on her plate then. An extra slice of wheat toast, a full fat yogurt, a turkey sausage patty etc. I’m sure you’ve tried everything, but what has helped my kiddo get out of a no food rut is: 1. Helping cook/prepare the meal; 2. Getting free range to pick one new food to try a week at the grocery store; 3. The power of smoothies. Mine loves helping blend them and I know I can get milk protein, veggies and fruit in that way if she’s not into meals one day. Otherwise, make sure she is getting plenty of liquids, and I’d layoff the cajoling or pressure. She is at a healthy weight and height, some kids just eat more or less than average. It could be a phase, or she could be a high metabolism kid. I have a friend who eats maybe 800 calories a day as an adult. Not to try to be a certain size or anything, but rather, that’s just how she has built. She doesn’t need a ton of calories. Some people are just like that. |
At 20 percentile and with no concerns from your pediatrician, it doesn’t sound like her eating is a problem. If she drops off her growth curve, your pediatrician will tell you. But absent that, there is no reason to be concerned.
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Any other signs of ADHD? |
Hi, this is a really good question because they can be such picky eaters! Everyone has such good advice too.
I was wondering if anyone is willing to share more about your experiences on a 25 minute focus group? It is running until 18th December 2021 with a prize draw for £100 and in the focus group we can hear more about your struggles. Also if you are a parent that has overcome this struggle you can share it with others. Anyone with a spare 25 minutes would be much appreciated! Thanks, Stella Learn more about the event: https://sites.google.com/view/sehtis-group/home Register directly here: https://forms.office.com/r/KbrhGQpTnh |
Pp here. Because they are seriously hangry at 4:00pm. I’ve tried giving them just a snack, but they invariably want to stuff their faces with the snack food. Then when presented a balanced meal, turn their noses up and beg for more snacks. Better to give them the balanced meal when they are hungriest. But then they pick at it. When that happens we allow them pouches or a pbj sando, at the advice of a nutritionist. |
This is OP- thought I'd give an update since people seemed interested. Last night was night 3 of 'no interference dinner'. We incorporated a few of the things people suggested, plus a couple other things.
First, we made a clear-set start to dinner by saying a blessing- something which we never did before, but a friend suggested incorporating some kind of ritual to formally start meal time. Then, we set a 20 minute timer. I use a timer we got from a Lovevery kit, which has a color countdown, so she can see how much time she has. I am continuing to serve her the same food that we eat, which always includes something she likes. And, we've eliminated desserts, just to get rid of the whole: you didn't eat enough dinner to have a cookie argument. Both DH and I have ceased commenting at all on how much she eats. Day 1 was very stress inducing (internally) for me, because she ate NOTHING. She was giving us side-eye the whole time waiting for us to say something, but otherwise seemed pretty happy about the evening. No arguments at all. Day 2 she ate a good 1/3 of the food on her plate, which was amazing. No arguments whatsoever. Day 3 dinner was a little late, and she had a hangry tantrum about the existence of cauliflower. Once she calmed down though, she nibbled at her chicken and couscous, and ended the evening in a great mood. Overall, I'd say that so far, this is mostly a success. She's happier, I'm happier that she is happier, and I enjoy not being the mean food police. BUT it is still a serious struggle watching her not eat. I've pulled up this thread a few times and reread it for reassurance that she's not starving, and that's been helpful. |
Thanks for the update OP. The fact that you've seen progress in 3 days is awesome! |
Good update, OP! Keep at it and things will improve, I am sure. You are employing some good tactics to change behaviors and show her that she is in control of how much she eats from what you give her. yes, keep reminding yourself that she is not starving. A hungry child will eat, when they need to, I promise. |
You are creating a more positive relationship surrounding mealtime and food!
In time she will come around to not associating the presence of food with anger and frustration around her being bad for not eating. |
+1000. I haaaaaate people who suggest crap supplemental drinks. |
Appetite stimulant medications |