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You only think he cheated, but you're carrying on as if you know he did. Which is it?
Anonymous wrote:jabaltimore004 wrote:Must be nice for some people to have such wonderful pristine lives that they can cast dispersions on the choices someone else makes.
OR...
Must be hellish for some people to be so insecure/immature that they can't make life choices without approval from an anonymous peanut gallery.
Ha, true. Some people do genuinely want advice others just seem to want to vent or unburden their consciences (if they have one).
This thread reminds me why they say that anyone who represents themselves in court has a fool for a client.
Must be nice for some people to have such wonderful pristine lives that they can cast dispersions on the choices someone else makes.
Anonymous wrote:
Well I was 26 at the time and I had never seen someone with average looks have a 100% success rate with men. It was like observing a different species. And really, she could hook guys with just a smile. It was fascinating.
The whole being nice thing works wonders. I could get a date with a little more than a smile and a genuine compliment. Doesn't just work on men.
You're describing someone who is very stressed about money. Probably an introvert. If money is indeed an issue he may not want to talk about it, but you absolutely need to get to the bottom of it. You could be contributing to a problem you have no idea exists.
I don't practice family law, but I work with divorced people all the time. If he didn't have an attorney and she did or neither one had an attorney he may have taken legal advice from Google about how to do self-help divorce and wound up giving up more than he intended. How long have they been divorced. Who he was then is not necessarily who he is now. People make mistakes and can change. It's a red flag, but not disqualifying.
The 2nd bit is odd. If he's not willing to discuss it then it sounds like it's just something he wants to do, but doesn't really have a plan. Is he typically the type that jumps into things without a plan in place?
The 2nd bit is odd. If he's not willing to discuss it then it sounds like it's just something he wants to do, but doesn't really have a plan. Is he typically the type that jumps into things without a plan in place?
Why are you considering marrying this person? If your only answers were about economic security and what he can do for you financially then you should get out, because he's not going to be able to provide that.
Something similar happened to me many years ago. Friends DW contacted me to tell me that my friend was sleeping with my SO. We carried on an affair for months before they "reconciled." I was glad I did it, so was she.
Anonymous wrote:jabaltimore004 wrote:It's very difficult to track long threads when everyone is posting as Anonymous.
I mean, if you want to remain anonymous, this is the interwebz, it's really easy to do. Create a fake gmail account, use that to register, voila, anonymity without all the post confusion.
Ah but then you couldn't troll. You would contradict yourself across threads.
Anonymous wrote:I've been down this path and it was less helpful than you would think. Someone who checks out and mopes a lot but doesn't talk to you about what's going on, get into therapy, or suggest couples therapy is also likely to someone who is not super self-aware or interested in working on your relationship. Opening the 'why is my husband unhappy' box meant getting to hear all sorts of crazy, terrible stuff about myself and our marriage, some of which contradicted each other day to day. My suggestions for how to fix things were shot down, because this wasn't actually someone who was interested in fixing things, otherwise...he already would have been trying to fix things. I hope it goes better for you. But if it doesn't, I hope you more quickly get from "I am responsible for my husband's emotional state" to "my husband is the only person who can help himself, and there's only so much unpleasantness I will willingly subject myself to."
Winner winner, chicken dinner.
It's very difficult to track long threads when everyone is posting as Anonymous.
I mean, if you want to remain anonymous, this is the interwebz, it's really easy to do. Create a fake gmail account, use that to register, voila, anonymity without all the post confusion.
I mean, if you want to remain anonymous, this is the interwebz, it's really easy to do. Create a fake gmail account, use that to register, voila, anonymity without all the post confusion.
I know it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, but sometimes you've just got to get the questions out there.
You're willing to work on this. If he isn't then you've got your answer and you can start the process of moving on.
You're willing to work on this. If he isn't then you've got your answer and you can start the process of moving on.
I don't think you should tell her simply because you would want to know. She is not you and you are not her. She knows who and what she's married to and if she doesn't it's not because he's good at hiding it, it's because she chooses not to know.
Anonymous wrote:Can you put a little neckbeard on the baby?
Maybe if she saw that he’d know the second hand smoke was starting to impact the baby. Also, he’d be concerned that his new little neckbeard progeny would vape up all of his stash.
Ouch, diet coke out the nose while laughing uncontrollably at this.