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Does he really need a therapist for this? Or just a swift kick in the pants? Sounds a bit extreme to me...
Anyway I have the same frustration with my DW. We've agreed she can stay at home, but so far, after losing her contract, she's mostly done nothing around the house nor looked for jobs. Not sure how to handle it.
Anyway I have the same frustration with my DW. We've agreed she can stay at home, but so far, after losing her contract, she's mostly done nothing around the house nor looked for jobs. Not sure how to handle it.
OP I'm very sorry this happened to you. I'd better know how to reply if I could hear from your DH -- how he felt in the moment, what his perspective is, etc. -- to help figure out if this is an isolated event or a sign of something worse. I think you need to look at patterns:
- how often in a typical week does he get yell at you?
- when you do fight does he call you names or humiliate you in some way?
- does he keep track of where you are, who you associate with, etc to an inordinate degree?
- does he prefer to go out alone, but hates it when you do?
- when you fight, is it about you personally or other things, like money? does he always make the fight personal?
that's just a start, and don't consider them isolated from one another, but take it all together. If it sounds like he's often angry, possessive, denigrating towards you, etc. it might be a sign that he is abusive. But I hesitate to say for sure.
To me, shoving, laying hands on my DW, calling her a name, etc. is COMPLETELY out of bounds in a fight and should be for all men.
Glad you're questioning, I think you should be. Figure out whether the patterns point to an abuser and if so, get out now. Either way, your husband should see a counselor/therapist about that. I would. No way I'd accept status quo if I laid hands on my DW.
- how often in a typical week does he get yell at you?
- when you do fight does he call you names or humiliate you in some way?
- does he keep track of where you are, who you associate with, etc to an inordinate degree?
- does he prefer to go out alone, but hates it when you do?
- when you fight, is it about you personally or other things, like money? does he always make the fight personal?
that's just a start, and don't consider them isolated from one another, but take it all together. If it sounds like he's often angry, possessive, denigrating towards you, etc. it might be a sign that he is abusive. But I hesitate to say for sure.
To me, shoving, laying hands on my DW, calling her a name, etc. is COMPLETELY out of bounds in a fight and should be for all men.
Glad you're questioning, I think you should be. Figure out whether the patterns point to an abuser and if so, get out now. Either way, your husband should see a counselor/therapist about that. I would. No way I'd accept status quo if I laid hands on my DW.
Anonymous wrote:Ugh, you sound like a needy loser, no thanks.
Thanks for the pre-rejection! Makes me honestly feel better to know I was rejected by a woman I wouldn't have wanted anyway due to her insufferably stiff upper lip! Dodged a bullet on that one...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So for those women who are open to an affair, how do I broach the subject?
Ask me to lunch. Flirt with me. Act like you would on a date. Pick up the check.
Good advice! Any others...?
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There's one woman here in my office I'd love to have for lunch... sigh.
I think you're wrongly assuming your husband hasn't been thinking about sex with you ALL DAY. His desire likely didn't turn on in 5 minutes, it could've been 5 hours of a low burn that flamed up when he got close to you.
I say that because that's how I operate. I get a little charged when close, but it's only because I've been at a low burn all day long.
I say that because that's how I operate. I get a little charged when close, but it's only because I've been at a low burn all day long.
More importantly, Mr. Man just emailed me for lunch today. My female coworker who acts as the buffer is still out on vacation. I know I need to turn him down but what should I say? Our office is sooooo small. I didn't bring lunch today so I have to go out and get something and can't use that excuse. Shit. Shit shit shit. I was doing so good, too. . .I had really let it go since getting home from our holiday vacation.
Turn down lunch with him and go with me
In all seriousness, don't do what you'll later regret. It works AWESOME in your fantasies, but it will not work out as well in real life, more likely than not. Take it from me: there is nothing worse than living with regret.
Well, maybe not nothing but you get the idea.
I know. I'm just going to say I'm so busy I have to eat at my desk today. Why am I worried about hurting his feelings?
Someone, kick me in the ass. I am such a damned heel.
Where'd you go OP? Curious what happened with your lunch time...