Serial cheaters: Can/Do they ever change?

[Anonymous]

If so, what did you/they do to get there? Feeling like it doesn’t happen… I’m not btw, just a victim wondering if a leopard can change its spots…

[Anonymous]

Serial? Highly, highly, highly unlikely. Get your ducks in a row and get out.

[Anonymous]

I was in my 20s (pre-marriage), not now. I don't really know why I'm not anymore. I think in some ways the solemnity of marriage is more real than just dating. Possibly sex drive isn't as insane as it was in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serial? Highly, highly, highly unlikely. Get your ducks in a row and get out.

We weren’t even married! Already out and of course the apologies, confessionals, promise to get help, etc have been coming. Blocked to preserve my sanity and got a letter in the mail. Oy!

[Anonymous]

Are you looking for a reason to have hope, trustworthiness, honesty, kindness, respect and loyalty with a serial cheater?

Why inquire?


Or are you a masked serial cheater?

[Anonymous]

No. Serial cheaters do not change. That is why they are serial. They are coping with deep character flaws.

If a friend came to me and told me her DH had cheated on her more than once, I would advise her to get out ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for a reason to have hope, trustworthiness, honesty, kindness, respect and loyalty with a serial cheater?

Why inquire?


Or are you a masked serial cheater?

Asking because I’m genuinely curious. I know someone who successfully battled demons and is now faithful and happily married. I know another person who cheated with the AP between individual and couples therapy sessions.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who was a serial cheater. She said when she turned 60, she lost the urge.

[Anonymous]

I know a guy who had cheated in every relationship, and now will only be in open relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a guy who had cheated in every relationship, and now will only be in open relationships.

This, while not ideal, makes sense. At least his partner(s) have a clue and he’s not living a lie.

[Anonymous]

I think I have changed. I cheated a lot in my 30s. Mostly when traveling for work. Now mid 40s, work travel again and I just don't really have the urge. I know I still could but it's not that overwhelming desire I once had.

I thinks it's mostly libido plus opportunity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If so, what did you/they do to get there? Feeling like it doesn’t happen… I’m not btw, just a victim wondering if a leopard can change its spots…

No, never ever. Serial cheaters do not change. These people are personality-disordered, have zero empathy, and lack a moral compass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serial? Highly, highly, highly unlikely. Get your ducks in a row and get out.

We weren’t even married! Already out and of course the apologies, confessionals, promise to get help, etc have been coming. Blocked to preserve my sanity and got a letter in the mail. Oy!

IGNORE that crap. That person is trying to "hoover" you. Do NOT take the bait. Look up "hoovering"; that is exactly what is happening here. And a letter in the mail? Good lord, don't even read it, throw it in the trash.

Do not make the same mistake I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serial? Highly, highly, highly unlikely. Get your ducks in a row and get out.

We weren’t even married! Already out and of course the apologies, confessionals, promise to get help, etc have been coming. Blocked to preserve my sanity and got a letter in the mail. Oy!

IGNORE that crap. That person is trying to "hoover" you. Do NOT take the bait. Look up "hoovering"; that is exactly what is happening here. And a letter in the mail? Good lord, don't even read it, throw it in the trash.

Do not make the same mistake I did.

Hoovering is a term that guys in my frat used to use for "BJ". As an example: "man, Becky can really hoover like a champion". Just FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so, what did you/they do to get there? Feeling like it doesn’t happen… I’m not btw, just a victim wondering if a leopard can change its spots…

No, never ever. Serial cheaters do not change. These people are personality-disordered, have zero empathy, and lack a moral compass.

The serial cheaters I knew weren’t like this. They were very caring and generous people. Just thought sex wasn’t a big deal so having it with others didn’t really mean anything.