Mommas, don't let your sons grow up to be assholes

Anonymous
Warning- Major Vent Coming! I'm a single mom of a 6yr old son. We live in a cul de sac and spent yesterday and today shoveling our way out like most people. Around noon today, a snow plow came down our way and pushed a HUGE wall of snow right in front of my car and driveway. I had taken a break to make lunch so I wasn't outside when he came by. I almost cried when I came out later and saw the mess in front of my house. I almost cried. So my son and I started shoveling again. I just came in after 3 hrs and I feel like I barely made a dent. Out of all of the people who live on my street, not one of them offered to help. The snow plow got rid of the snow in front of all of their driveways so they could get out (most of them did get out, drive around and come back into their driveway). At least 7 or 8 men (some of them dads, some single) came by to talk and not one of them offered to help at all. 2 or 3 of them made jokes like "Looks like you've got your work cut out for you" or something to that effect. My neighbor (a dad of 2 himself) half joked "It doesn't look like Chris (my son) is pulling his weight" since he had given up to play with his kids on the sledding hill. Then he walked away and went inside. All of these people know I am by myself. I am not saying that all men are lazy, selfish jerks. Maybe just the ones who live around me are. So this message is to all moms of sons. It is not old fashioned to raise your sons to ask if women need help (even when it is VERY clear that they do). I'm a nurse so luckily my friend (a woman) offered to come pick me up tomorrow at 5am to go to work or I'd be shoveling all night. Okay, I feel better now.
Anonymous
sorry. that is too bad. regardless of your sex or theirs, offering to help you would have been the neighborly thing to do.
Anonymous
Wow, OP that does suck. What kind of insensitive jerk makes a joke like that and then doesn't offer to help?
Anonymous
Sorry OP. Maybe next time directly ask, especially if they have a snow blower. They sound like asshats for sure. I'm glad that you have a friend who can pick you up.

It sounds weird that so many would chat with you and not offer. Wonder if any of the moms are worried about the "single lady" down the block?
Anonymous
I am very surprised and sorry to hear this is happening to you. Usually in times like this, neighbors come together to help each other out.
Anonymous
Oh for Pete's sake, OP, quit your whining. We all have snow to shovel. Yes, poor, poor you.

I sincerely doubt that any of these comments was intended to drive you to your computer for an internet rant. Get over yourself. You're being way too sensitive.

Anonymous
So sorry this happened to you. As a single mom, I'm hyper aware of asshole, male behavior. Certainly doing everything in my power to groom my 12 y.o. son into a caring, loving, and productive man.
Anonymous
It shouldnt even matter if someone is single or not - neighbors should HELP eachother....it makes me nuts to see people so carefully shovel their own little tiny plot - HELP OTHER PEOPLE - even for 10 minutes!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Oh for Pete's sake, OP, quit your whining. We all have snow to shovel. Yes, poor, poor you.

I sincerely doubt that any of these comments was intended to drive you to your computer for an internet rant. Get over yourself. You're being way too sensitive.



Exhibit A of a Jerk. Neighbors should help out. It is the kind thing to do. Period.
Anonymous
Sorry, OP, but your post really irks me.

The damsel in distress routine is cute, but you are the mother of a little boy who is watching your behavior. Crying (or almost crying) because a snow plow comes by and undoes the work you did is ridiculous. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here and assuming that you're just unnerved by the change in routine this weekend, as we all are a bit, but for your son's sake, you need to buck up. This is not the kind of thing that he needs to see his mother fall apart over.

And BTW, did you offer to pay any of these men to help you? Offer them a hot meal or even a cup of coffee? Or are they just supposed to throw themselves at your feet because "they know you are alone."

They have their own driveways to worry about, lady. Perhaps you are giving off the vibe that men are good enough to shovel your yard but not good enough to be in your life, bother marrying, being a father to your son, etc. That's certainly what I read in your "misery."

Anonymous
We don't know why the single mom is a single mom, so declaring this justice for her bad decisions seems a little off to me.

That said, why is it the man's job to shovel?
Anonymous
OK, but where were the wives?
Anonymous
I'm the OP. For those who are interested- I did offer to pay the boys down the street to help me. They said they would so I am hoping they will come by this week since I am assuming that schools will be closed for a while. No, I am not going to pay my adult neighbors to help nor would I expect to be paid for helping them. I don't care if my son saw me start to cry b/c I am human. I am not a robot. There are many times when I've helped out my neighbors (mostly with babysitting their kids for various reasons) so I am not playing the damsel in distress. My son spent a couple hrs the last 2 days helping out. Why? Because it needed to be done. I am raising him to be aware of others around him. He himself has actually helped out our neighbors on many occasions. Why? Because they needed help. That is what I am teaching him. I guess I just expected the grown adult men whose work was made simple by the snowplow would look up and see that their neighbor (whose had taken care of their children many times) needs help now. Maybe I am expecting too much.
Anonymous
Oh yeah. My husband died a few years ago. He would've never ignored a neighbor who obviously needed help. As for the moms, I guess they were inside. I saw mostly hubbies shoveling the driveways yesterday and today.
Anonymous
Why are you so pissed at the men? I imagine their wives were inside, warm and snug. Perhaps they could have helped you, or taken a turn when their husbands were done.
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