Mommas, don't let your sons grow up to be assholes

[Anonymous]

Well, I think it's pretty clear who the assholes are on this thread who are probably raising their children to be assholes.

FWIW, I nearly cried when the plow came by and plowed us in - the pile was as tall as my husband (6 feet). He managed to move it, but if it had been me, alone, after I'd already shoveled for nearly 3 hours and he had done almost 2 at that point, I'd have cried for sure.

It's not a "man's" job to out shovel - the men were the ones out there at the time.

We have a neighbor who's kind of off. Never talks to us. DH went out today to help him get his car back into the driveway. He never said one word to DH, but whatever, you don't just leave someone stranded, whether it's with shoveling or pushing a car or whatever.

OP, take heart, most people are good. Sorry you live in a pocket of suck.

[Anonymous]

COEXIST!!!!

[Anonymous]

OP that does suck!! I live in a neighborhood where several of the moms were home alone when the storm hit. we, my husband and i, helped out.

i don't understand why people can be so thoughtless nowadays. there is nothing wrong with neighbors helping neighbors. and i am a married woman, who is by no means old-fashioned, and i think it is ridiculous for several men and young people to see you and not offer to help.

sorry some of your neighbors, and pps, are not very understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but your post really irks me.

The damsel in distress routine is cute, but you are the mother of a little boy who is watching your behavior. Crying (or almost crying) because a snow plow comes by and undoes the work you did is ridiculous. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here and assuming that you're just unnerved by the change in routine this weekend, as we all are a bit, but for your son's sake, you need to buck up. This is not the kind of thing that he needs to see his mother fall apart over.

And BTW, did you offer to pay any of these men to help you? Offer them a hot meal or even a cup of coffee? Or are they just supposed to throw themselves at your feet because "they know you are alone."

They have their own driveways to worry about, lady. Perhaps you are giving off the vibe that men are good enough to shovel your yard but not good enough to be in your life, bother marrying, being a father to your son, etc. That's certainly what I read in your "misery."

PP, another single mom chiming in here. OP was simply venting. You're right, I have zero expectation that if I need any help that a man is going to come along and assist me/us in an emergency. I'm fully aware that payment is required to motivate many men to offer a helping hand. The men (and women) who have helped us in any capacity over the years have my utmost respect. Funny they don't expect payment, etc., they will outright refuse it. And, I'm just like that, if I see that I can help someone, I just help.

[Anonymous]

I can feel the OP-People are jerks. We spent 2 hours digging the section of road out directly behind our driveway because my spouse HAS to work tomorrow. We weren't in the house for 15 mins when the neighbor across the street pulled her car out of her driveway and into the space we cleared. It's not even a legal parking space. Now there is no way in hell we'll be able to back up tomorrow without hitting her car and she leaves 2-3 hours later than we do. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

You would hae gotten more support if you had stuck to mannners and not mixed it up with gender.

[Anonymous]

I think the reason the OP is talking about men is b/c they were the only ones out there. I don't think I would've been able to contain myself if my neighbors (male or female) walked up to me, made lame remarks like the OP described and then walked away.

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP that you had to deal with that, apparently chivalry is dead in your neighborhood and among some of the PP. What is it, every man for himself? Sheesh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sorry. that is too bad. regardless of your sex or theirs, offering to help you would have been the neighborly thing to do.

Agreed. My neighbor just drove up after working 28 hours straight (to cover for people who couldn't get to work). I'm a woman and I offered to help him dig out a parking space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can feel the OP-People are jerks. We spent 2 hours digging the section of road out directly behind our driveway because my spouse HAS to work tomorrow. We weren't in the house for 15 mins when the neighbor across the street pulled her car out of her driveway and into the space we cleared. It's not even a legal parking space. Now there is no way in hell we'll be able to back up tomorrow without hitting her car and she leaves 2-3 hours later than we do. It sucks.

Contact her and ask her to move her car. I've had to ask people to move their car during snowstorms. Sometimes they forget how much less space there is on the public roads to park/drive. (But I agree with you, that does suck. I prefer it of course, when people do remember/care that there is less space and act accordingly.)

[Anonymous]

OP, did you ever just ask any of them to help you? Some people aren't rude, just not observant sometimes. It certainly wouldn't have hurt as one PP suggested to say something like "can i trade you a nice dinner for some help shoveling" or somehting like that.

BTW, my neighbor (2 houses down), who knew I was a single mom (during blizzard of '03), and other neighbor was elderly was blowing snow with a highspeed snowblower on the sidewalk, and was taking it to his friend who lived on the other side of uss. Rather than 'accidentally' blowing our 2 sidewalks free of all the snow, he turned it off, pushed it through the high snow, and then turned it back on at his friend's house. Nice, hunh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but your post really irks me.

The damsel in distress routine is cute, but you are the mother of a little boy who is watching your behavior. Crying (or almost crying) because a snow plow comes by and undoes the work you did is ridiculous. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here and assuming that you're just unnerved by the change in routine this weekend, as we all are a bit, but for your son's sake, you need to buck up. This is not the kind of thing that he needs to see his mother fall apart over.

And BTW, did you offer to pay any of these men to help you? Offer them a hot meal or even a cup of coffee? Or are they just supposed to throw themselves at your feet because "they know you are alone."

They have their own driveways to worry about, lady. Perhaps you are giving off the vibe that men are good enough to shovel your yard but not good enough to be in your life, bother marrying, being a father to your son, etc. That's certainly what I read in your "misery."

NP here. Single mom, also. ...Who helped shovel her neighbor out without being asked. Let me be the probably fifth or sixth person to call you an asshole. Asshole. Now go crawl into a snow hole.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. New poster here. That sounds so frustrating. Please, please ignore the hateful person/people on this thread. It is beyond me how mean and judgmental people can be on this forum.

I do second though that sometimes people are so absorbed in their own lives they just don't think to offer help, however obvious it may be. Does not necessarily make them an asshole (although they could be that too!) but probably just self-centered, like most of the world.

Ok, so we are supposed to have 6 more inches on Tuesday. How do you feel about posting a sign at edge of your yard that says: "Shovelers Wanted! Please stop by or call if interested". If a neighborhood kids sees it, offer him/her money for the job. If it's a Dad or Mom that offers, likely they will do it for free and just need the *prompt* to ask. You may need to ask for more help in general if feeling overwhelmed. This was a tremendous storm.

[Anonymous]

It is pretty nervy to stop and chat and not help. I'd be just as pissed at the wives (who even in a sexist world could have encouraged their hubbies to get out there.)

On my block, the shoveling was largely gender neutral, and we made sure everyone got taken care of.

No shame in letting your son see you cry. Shoveling is ALOT of work, and even moreso when the snow is compressed. When the other families were able to have fun together and you couldn't because of the work left to do... that's reason to show your sadness, and its no shame if your child sees it.

[Anonymous]

Parents, please teach your girls to grow up to be women to ASK.

First rule of business school, ask. A lot of women don't get what they want (whether raises or orgasms) because they are afraid to speak up and ask specifically what they want.

OP, I agree that the men should have helped, but I also think that you might have asked. Now, if after asking the men refused to help, then they would surely deserve to be called asshats.