I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't

[Anonymous]

You need therapy to get beyond your anger and materialism. Maybe you'll end up divorced but right now you're so stuck in this "my life sucks. Dh is a jerk. He's ruining my life" mindset that you can't see what a divorced life will look like. I'd prefer a happy life and not being able to fund a wedding and house for DD in the future. Your values are different as you prioritize that type of wealth. But is it really worth it? Is it worth divorce? Being miserable? Working a high stress job? I think you're too angry right now to answer those questions honestly. That's why therapy would be helpful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol you're a morin. Ask your kids what they would prefer.... You to pay for their wedding and a house but you get divorced and are still miserable. OR you don't provide those things but get a less stressful job and don't completely ruin their lives with a divorce.

I'm with your DH. It seems like you guys could still have a nice life if you took a lower stress job. It's not like he's forcing you to stay in your job. I also don't get why you married him.

Because he is handsome and funny, and when I expressed reservations to friends or family about his earning potential everyone called me shallow. The people calling me shallow are all married to high earners, btw. I was dumb not to level with myself about my values. Huge, life ruining mistake.

OP, the problem here is that you don’t like the person you married, not some ridiculous conjecture about how women need an alpha male.

Maybe. But do you really not believe that women prefer men who want to work hard for their families? Really? Do you deny that women prefer tall men too?

You referred to him as hard working at least twice in other posts, but complained he wasn’t a “striver.”

He was hardworking to get where he is now but now he is coasting. This has been consistent and clear in my thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am OP, and I am willing to bet that 80+% of the people responding here attacking my “materialistic” values share the exact same values.

Any intellectually honest person who frequents this board knows that is true!!

It’s just a taboo to talk about it openly, which is why I’ve chosen an anonymous forum.

Listen, I’m going to bow out because I am now a target for people’s misplaced hypocritical rage.

Nope, and nope. We are confused about your inability to own your own choices.

I btw, I married a kind, handsome genius who works for a non profit. He is choosing not to earn more. Do we still have a good life? Yes. There are endless perks to being married to someone like him And I fully understand that if I want more money, I should go get it myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am OP, and I am willing to bet that 80+% of the people responding here attacking my “materialistic” values share the exact same values.

Any intellectually honest person who frequents this board knows that is true!!

It’s just a taboo to talk about it openly, which is why I’ve chosen an anonymous forum.

Listen, I’m going to bow out because I am now a target for people’s misplaced hypocritical rage.

Nope. I don't care about being able to buy a house for my kid or sending them to a private. We prioritize a happy marriage and family life. We work to provide a good house in a good school district, a few vacations a year (don't care about staying at the Ritz), activities for DS, and saving for retirement and college. Sounds like that's what your life would be like if you took a less stressful job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am OP, and I am willing to bet that 80+% of the people responding here attacking my “materialistic” values share the exact same values.

Any intellectually honest person who frequents this board knows that is true!!

It’s just a taboo to talk about it openly, which is why I’ve chosen an anonymous forum.

Listen, I’m going to bow out because I am now a target for people’s misplaced hypocritical rage.

Ha and again it's everyone else is the problem and you're right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP, and I am willing to bet that 80+% of the people responding here attacking my “materialistic” values share the exact same values.

Any intellectually honest person who frequents this board knows that is true!!

It’s just a taboo to talk about it openly, which is why I’ve chosen an anonymous forum.

Listen, I’m going to bow out because I am now a target for people’s misplaced hypocritical rage.

Nope, and nope. We are confused about your inability to own your own choices.

I btw, I married a kind, handsome genius who works for a non profit. He is choosing not to earn more. Do we still have a good life? Yes. There are endless perks to being married to someone like him And I fully understand that if I want more money, I should go get it myself.

Dear, now you are just being a bully trying to evoke “we” on an anonymous forum filled with the most flagrantly status conscious people on the planet. You aren’t fooling anyone.

[Anonymous]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/105/981465.page#20247943

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/883858.page#17262876

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/857023.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP, and I am willing to bet that 80+% of the people responding here attacking my “materialistic” values share the exact same values.

Any intellectually honest person who frequents this board knows that is true!!

It’s just a taboo to talk about it openly, which is why I’ve chosen an anonymous forum.

Listen, I’m going to bow out because I am now a target for people’s misplaced hypocritical rage.

Nope. I don't care about being able to buy a house for my kid or sending them to a private. We prioritize a happy marriage and family life. We work to provide a good house in a good school district, a few vacations a year (don't care about staying at the Ritz), activities for DS, and saving for retirement and college. Sounds like that's what your life would be like if you took a less stressful job.

Unless you are camping, your “few vacations a year” money is my “save for my kids future” money. We certainly do not take a few vacations a year! 1 MAYBE.

If I took a lower stress job it would be a struggle to adequately save for retirement and pay for college in full. Why do so many people (including DH) want yo pretend that life isn’t damn expensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/105/981465.page#20247943

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/883858.page#17262876

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/857023.page

Those are not me, but even if they were, who would be the bigger psycho here? Me for frequently posting about MY life or you for memorizing every post on DCUM about other people’s lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/105/981465.page#20247943

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/883858.page#17262876

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/857023.page

lol
is this the same chic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/105/981465.page#20247943

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/883858.page#17262876

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/857023.page

Those are not me, but even if they were, who would be the bigger psycho here? Me for frequently posting about MY life or you for memorizing every post on DCUM about other people’s lives?

you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot stand that I have a high stress job and my DH has a low stress (and low paying) job. Why did I do this to myself? I regret marrying him with every bone in my body. Any man who sits and watches his wife endure stress and pressure and is content to take it easy is no man. This is primal and will never change.

This is nuts. My SAHM DW dealt with a house full of rugrats (four under 7) while she was participating in major house renovations. Lots of stress. It ‘s not a reflection on the DH’s manhood that the DW is stressed.

No matter how stressful your job, four kids under 7 years old is WAY more stressful!!!

That is just not true at all. Work stress is far more difficult than home stress.

[Anonymous]

I'm starting to think OP is a troll. Doesn't want actual advice. Just enjoys arguing. Can't listen to someone who disagrees with her. Just very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope your husband gets custody. You're a terrible role model for your children.

WTH is wrong with you!! She is busting her butt while he is coasting. He is the terrible model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP, and I am willing to bet that 80+% of the people responding here attacking my “materialistic” values share the exact same values.

Any intellectually honest person who frequents this board knows that is true!!

It’s just a taboo to talk about it openly, which is why I’ve chosen an anonymous forum.

Listen, I’m going to bow out because I am now a target for people’s misplaced hypocritical rage.

Nope. I don't care about being able to buy a house for my kid or sending them to a private. We prioritize a happy marriage and family life. We work to provide a good house in a good school district, a few vacations a year (don't care about staying at the Ritz), activities for DS, and saving for retirement and college. Sounds like that's what your life would be like if you took a less stressful job.

Unless you are camping, your “few vacations a year” money is my “save for my kids future” money. We certainly do not take a few vacations a year! 1 MAYBE.

If I took a lower stress job it would be a struggle to adequately save for retirement and pay for college in full. Why do so many people (including DH) want yo pretend that life isn’t damn expensive?

Again, your post boils down to the fact that you want to be UMC without having to work for it. You would prefer your husband work for it. Because, you know, it's "primal."

Lovely.