Why are some woman okay with being “the other woman”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never slept with a married man, to my knowledge. That said, the sexism and judgement here is hilarious.

If I were to sleep with a married man it would not be because I thought he loved me and I loved the thrill, wouldnt be because of my daddy issues or deep emotional wounds......it would be because I wanted him, physically. I wanted to have sex with him and take him as a lover.

I'd love him going back home to get his ego massaged, his underwear washed, and his mothers christmas present bought from his wife, I have no time for such things.

That's you. There are many that actively look for 'mate poaching'. I don't know why. I mean...they are getting a liar and a cheater, but they want the wife's lifestyle.

My exH's AP was 100% this person. Not only was she my friend, but she complained constantly that her husband didn't make enough money for her to cut back at work. She wanted him to leave his secure government job for private sector SO badly. My exH made at least 4 times hers and she wanted my lifestyle. Not even close to how it worked out for her.

Ex's AP wanted our location in the city and the multiple homes we owned, vacations we took instead of her boring life right outside the beltway with a husband that never wanted to go out with her. Didn't work out to good for her since ex was just looking for a free bang.

It's boring being a SAHM outside of the beltway. Can you blame her for trying ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Low self esteem. Prior trauma.

^This and mental disorders (bipolar, BPD, NPD, histrionic personality disorder, depression, addiction).

Family of origin issues. Cheaters beget cheaters. It’s what they learn is normal.

All of the above. Also, daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my good friends is now doing this for the second time. I don’t get it because she could do so much better. She’s pretty, great career, etc. yet she finds herself being the other woman for now a second time. Please help me understand. Finding it more difficult to hear her vent because I just don’t understand it.

Look closely at how her dad abused her in her childhood. That is the clue to why women get into such positions even when they are not sex-trafficed. They consider themselves soiled goods and so don't care if a non-relative male disrespects them. In fact they see it as a form of love.

Shut up, you pathetic, sexist, wannabe Freud.

Someones triggered! PP is right it's a symptom of low self esteem for some reason, abuse in some form is not far off.

Anyone decent is “triggered” by the misogyny in that post. Grow up for Christ’s sake.

Misogyny would be if it was said that all women are worthless and deserving to be sexually used and discarded. This has absolutely not been said. The legal married wife gets all the respect, support and sympathy for being true to her vows.. The husband is a dog for sure. But the AP female is also someone who is allowing herself to be seually exploited and not finding that objectionable. So the chances that she was sexually abused by a family member or trusted adult is high. Usually by dad, brother, uncle, grandfather, step dad, teacher, neighbor, priest, doctor - it makes them have very low self-esteem and they would not feel remorse for sleeping with a married man. Sex abuse of children and women is rampant.

Abused women who indulge in extra-marital affairs are naturally triggered. Not by the post, but the unacknowledged shame that they don't think that their abuse was that bad.,mdid not feel trauma for being defiled.

[Anonymous]

I never could understand the psychology. I would never want a man that sleeps with another woman every night.

I wouldn't want someone that could only get away certain times and had to create a 'cover story' and we couldn't be seen in public.

ESPECIALLY as a single woman. It's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny that you put her down, but your husbands reaction was to put his penis inside of her

That’s what men do to whores that offer it up for free without even having to spring for dinner or a hotel. Too bad her own husband won’t put her penis in her.

No, that's what YOUR man did to her. Not all men. But you know, brag away about your houses.

Inside the beltway!!!11! 😂

[Anonymous]

Anyone watched Dr. Foster?

I cannot understand why the cute 20 year old went for the unattractive older married guy who had a small house and no money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never could understand the psychology. I would never want a man that sleeps with another woman every night.

I wouldn't want someone that could only get away certain times and had to create a 'cover story' and we couldn't be seen in public.

ESPECIALLY as a single woman. It's weird.

Yeah. It’s f@cked up. A lot do get crazy jealous over time.

[Anonymous]

I did it for NSA sex. Wasn’t angling for much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my good friends is now doing this for the second time. I don’t get it because she could do so much better. She’s pretty, great career, etc. yet she finds herself being the other woman for now a second time. Please help me understand. Finding it more difficult to hear her vent because I just don’t understand it.

Look closely at how her dad abused her in her childhood. That is the clue to why women get into such positions even when they are not sex-trafficed. They consider themselves soiled goods and so don't care if a non-relative male disrespects them. In fact they see it as a form of love.

I agree, the wife should divorce him but is obviously married a cheater due to damage from childhood. She sees it as love but it’s disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because the 80/20 dating rule is true. And that top 20% of men are always married.

It's basically this. women can get a much hotter and more accomplished man for an affair than if he was single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the 80/20 dating rule is true. And that top 20% of men are always married.

It's basically this. women can get a much hotter and more accomplished man for an affair than if he was single.

Sure, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg are such great prizes. Both super good looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never slept with a married man, to my knowledge. That said, the sexism and judgement here is hilarious.

If I were to sleep with a married man it would not be because I thought he loved me and I loved the thrill, wouldnt be because of my daddy issues or deep emotional wounds......it would be because I wanted him, physically. I wanted to have sex with him and take him as a lover.

I'd love him going back home to get his ego massaged, his underwear washed, and his mothers christmas present bought from his wife, I have no time for such things.

For some weird reason, you clearly feel you're superior to his wife, who is there only to wash his underwear and buy his mother's christmas presents. You, on the other hand, are a great free spirit...something?

Quotation marks go outside the period.

Not at all superior, just at a juncture where I can choose how I spend my time. I choose not to spend it on spousal duties for a man, so if another woman wanted to do that, awesome, I would not feel superior to her I would feel grateful to her. Anyway, I'm not sleeping with married men, so its a non issue. Was just presenting a different opinion than the "low self esteem, thrill of the danger, believes its LOOOVE, wants your man" narriative so often spun about the "other woman".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get it -- but people have affairs, get divorced, get remarried all the time.

I don't think the blame is on the affair partner -- but that's an unpopular opinion on this board. I think the blame is on the person who is married.

+1

[Anonymous]

I was coming off a bad divorce, he and I had chemistry, he was sexually deprived in his marriage


It was temporary and fun. No one got hurt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, married now for over 15 years. I would imagine it’s because they get the fun and excitement and don’t have to deal with the crap.

This makes logical sense.