Why are some woman okay with being “the other woman”?

[Anonymous]

AP? So cute that spurned wives have their own jargon.

[Anonymous]

Its like Rent the Runway. You get to temporarily put expensive stuff on your body, then send it back used to the owner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that have multiple friends that all cheat on their spouses?!?!!! Look in the mirror. Why are you friends with trash?

It's fairly common in men

Even the ones that don't, want to

[Anonymous]

If your husband cheats on you, leave. Anything else supports the cycle of cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you will get any thoughtful answers about the specific mental health struggles that cause someone to be a secret partner to a married person. I suspect it's a combination of feeling special, enjoying the excitement of sneaking around, and the combination of those making her feel like it's him and her against the world... That nobody will understand their love. That kind of feeling is like a drug and is very hard up let go of. This is especially true when you have any kind of self-hatred or worthlessness feelings. The "special" feeling masks the pain until eventually the shame takes over. But then the worthlessness feeling is even more profound and so back to craving that "special" feeling again. It's a cycle of mental health crisis, addiction, fallout, repeat.

There is a lot of self-delusion too. They walk around appearing to be 'oh so happy and together', oh so charitable and decent...it masks a sh*tload of dysfunction.

I don't know how anyone hidden and not take out in the real world and used for a 30-40 min session in a hotel or back of a car feels 'special'. That is some serious self-delusion and willingness to believe lies like 'you are my soulmate. i would leave my wife but I can't do that to my kids'. blah, blah, blah...rinse, repeat.

The excitement of it is why we do it. Not to feel special. The basics breaks down to the rush of the act.

[Anonymous]

^^ Would it be exciting to get caught? Serious question, because that’s what’s creating the excitement. The risk of doing something you’re not supposed to (think Winona Ryder shoplifting in Beverly Hills). Upside - momentary thrill with a person who means nothing to you. Downside - blow up marriage, relationship with kids (and possibly friends, neighbors, employment). Maybe the latter doesn’t actually mean that much to you either. Gotta look out for Number One.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ Would it be exciting to get caught? Serious question, because that’s what’s creating the excitement. The risk of doing something you’re not supposed to (think Winona Ryder shoplifting in Beverly Hills). Upside - momentary thrill with a person who means nothing to you. Downside - blow up marriage, relationship with kids (and possibly friends, neighbors, employment). Maybe the latter doesn’t actually mean that much to you either. Gotta look out for Number One.

Agree. How exciting would it be for the betrayed spouse to show up at your house unannounced? With your kids and husband there? That would have to be a thrilling adrenaline rush, would it not?

[Anonymous]

Money and risky sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ Would it be exciting to get caught? Serious question, because that’s what’s creating the excitement. The risk of doing something you’re not supposed to (think Winona Ryder shoplifting in Beverly Hills). Upside - momentary thrill with a person who means nothing to you. Downside - blow up marriage, relationship with kids (and possibly friends, neighbors, employment). Maybe the latter doesn’t actually mean that much to you either. Gotta look out for Number One.

Agree. How exciting would it be for the betrayed spouse to show up at your house unannounced? With your kids and husband there? That would have to be a thrilling adrenaline rush, would it not?

Oml a one way ticket to self destruction. They will try to gaslight their way out of it, but the karma train has a way of making its way to town in due time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money. They are not independent. Lifestyle.

Their husbands don’t f@ck them and they want another woman’s lifestyle. Jealousy. They are looking for an upgrade and too lazy and dumb to get a job to get that upgrade on their own.

99% of them don’t work. If they do, it’s a crap @ss menial job. They try to get somewhere with what’s between their legs but too f@cking stupid and unattractive to get a single man so they bang one that lads them on and will never leave for them.
It’s as simple as that.

Bless your little broken heart.

I’m an AP. I’m married, more highly educated than his wife, and have a job that would generally be perceived as much more prestigious. And I am wealthier than he is. He simply found a better match to spend his life with, as did I. Just waiting for kids to head to college and to give them time to settle in before leaving spouses. Otherwise would be too much disruption in the four straight years that our respective kids are going through college application stress and graduating. Oh, and both of our spouses cheated in the past. We feel no guilt. Just waiting it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money. They are not independent. Lifestyle.

Their husbands don’t f@ck them and they want another woman’s lifestyle. Jealousy. They are looking for an upgrade and too lazy and dumb to get a job to get that upgrade on their own.

99% of them don’t work. If they do, it’s a crap @ss menial job. They try to get somewhere with what’s between their legs but too f@cking stupid and unattractive to get a single man so they bang one that lads them on and will never leave for them.
It’s as simple as that.

Bless your little broken heart.

I’m an AP. I’m married, more highly educated than his wife, and have a job that would generally be perceived as much more prestigious. And I am wealthier than he is. He simply found a better match to spend his life with, as did I. Just waiting for kids to head to college and to give them time to settle in before leaving spouses. Otherwise would be too much disruption in the four straight years that our respective kids are going through college application stress and graduating. Oh, and both of our spouses cheated in the past. We feel no guilt. Just waiting it out.

You are a cheater. You are trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money. They are not independent. Lifestyle.

Their husbands don’t f@ck them and they want another woman’s lifestyle. Jealousy. They are looking for an upgrade and too lazy and dumb to get a job to get that upgrade on their own.

99% of them don’t work. If they do, it’s a crap @ss menial job. They try to get somewhere with what’s between their legs but too f@cking stupid and unattractive to get a single man so they bang one that lads them on and will never leave for them.
It’s as simple as that.

Bless your little broken heart.

I’m an AP. I’m married, more highly educated than his wife, and have a job that would generally be perceived as much more prestigious. And I am wealthier than he is. He simply found a better match to spend his life with, as did I. Just waiting for kids to head to college and to give them time to settle in before leaving spouses. Otherwise would be too much disruption in the four straight years that our respective kids are going through college application stress and graduating. Oh, and both of our spouses cheated in the past. We feel no guilt. Just waiting it out.

Check back in here on four years and let us know how “just waiting till the kids graduate from high school” goes for you. One cheater guy in this thread referred to that ploy as “kicking the can down the road.” It shouldn’t surprise you but: cheaters also are liars too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money. They are not independent. Lifestyle.

Their husbands don’t f@ck them and they want another woman’s lifestyle. Jealousy. They are looking for an upgrade and too lazy and dumb to get a job to get that upgrade on their own.

99% of them don’t work. If they do, it’s a crap @ss menial job. They try to get somewhere with what’s between their legs but too f@cking stupid and unattractive to get a single man so they bang one that lads them on and will never leave for them.
It’s as simple as that.

Bless your little broken heart.

I’m an AP. I’m married, more highly educated than his wife, and have a job that would generally be perceived as much more prestigious. And I am wealthier than he is. He simply found a better match to spend his life with, as did I. Just waiting for kids to head to college and to give them time to settle in before leaving spouses. Otherwise would be too much disruption in the four straight years that our respective kids are going through college application stress and graduating. Oh, and both of our spouses cheated in the past. We feel no guilt. Just waiting it out.

Check back in here on four years and let us know how “just waiting till the kids graduate from high school” goes for you. One cheater guy in this thread referred to that ploy as “kicking the can down the road.” It shouldn’t surprise you but: cheaters also are liars too.

More likely one of the spouses finds out before then and she’s left with neither one...

They are all bold and self-righteous until that reality launches

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money. They are not independent. Lifestyle.

Their husbands don’t f@ck them and they want another woman’s lifestyle. Jealousy. They are looking for an upgrade and too lazy and dumb to get a job to get that upgrade on their own.

99% of them don’t work. If they do, it’s a crap @ss menial job. They try to get somewhere with what’s between their legs but too f@cking stupid and unattractive to get a single man so they bang one that lads them on and will never leave for them.
It’s as simple as that.

Bless your little broken heart.

I’m an AP. I’m married, more highly educated than his wife, and have a job that would generally be perceived as much more prestigious. And I am wealthier than he is. He simply found a better match to spend his life with, as did I. Just waiting for kids to head to college and to give them time to settle in before leaving spouses. Otherwise would be too much disruption in the four straight years that our respective kids are going through college application stress and graduating. Oh, and both of our spouses cheated in the past. We feel no guilt. Just waiting it out.

Check back in here on four years and let us know how “just waiting till the kids graduate from high school” goes for you. One cheater guy in this thread referred to that ploy as “kicking the can down the road.” It shouldn’t surprise you but: cheaters also are liars too.

Once he’s free and kids are gone he will do much better and younger than this Ho. They don’t want an old cheater when they are finally free. Definitely luck the can down the road and tell her all of those lies to keep the side sex going until divorce.

[Anonymous]

^^ That’s when the cheater says “I don’t know what gave you that impression,” “I never promised you anything,” or “I have different needs now.”

My favorite cheater “love mantras” are “I have needs” and “You are a wonderful person to spend time with.” Those are code for “I’m a selfish prick” and “It’s so amusing manipulating you into buying my bs.”