If you’re a SAHM, how do you value your work?

[Anonymous]

All WOHMs who are doctors should carry on working, but the trash collector WOHMs do not deserve to live?

Lol. Ok.

[Anonymous]

Poverty is not a desirable state of being. Living in poverty is worse for children than having a WOHM raising them.

If the WOHMs are helping out food on the table then their contribution is to be admired.

[Anonymous]

I think as a SAHM -I am worth 250K a year, with medical and a pension plan. For yearly bonus, I am worth two vacations, 20K in clothes, accessories and jewellary and 6 K in support staff. Family agrees and pays me accordingly...

Of course, I am underpricing myself because family gets a discount from me.

[Anonymous]

Capitalism is a hell of a drug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you value a good nanny’s work? And a great housekeeper? And a home manager? And a personal chef? That’s the roughly job of a SAHP - man or woman.

I don't agree with this way of looking at it. All WOH/WAH parents still have to do housekeeping, home managing, and cooking the meals. Some people outsource a lot of that but that is not limited to working parents, SAH parents outsource, too, if they have the funds.

So what it really comes down to is the difference between taking care of your children full-time vs. having someone assist with childcare while you work, usually for some part of the day. That's really the only difference with a SAHP.

Right which is why it’s fair to say they contribute less to society than working parents.

+1

How is this in question?

SAHM is for weak women who couldn’t make it in the workforce and instead depend on a man. You can’t convince me otherwise.

Working moms do everything SAHMs do and then some because they’re actually contributing to society through their work.

They’re not weak, they’re just not ambitious. Or, they made poor choices and married a workaholic who prioritizes $$$ over family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is partly why I’d never quit my job even though I’d love to be a SAHM.

WOMEN are so harsh and judgmental about it. It’s really just women too, I don’t think men have these types of thoughts.

It’s a shame that moms can’t just support each other. We’re all working, one way or another.

100%

You should have more self confidence and own your choices.

As a SAHM, I am super thankful to the WOHM that support me and who free up my time to be with my kids. I have a terrific cleaning lady who is a WOHM because her life circumstances prevented her from going to college or being married before she had a kid. If she could stay at home, she would.

My kids live a cushier life than hers not because I am a SAHM and she is a WOHM...but because we are financially well off and she needs to work to survive.

I also appreciate the kick-ass WOHM who develop vaccines and argue important court cases and provide customer service to people who need help and generally contribute to society instead of obsessing over helicoptering their pampered brats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poverty is not a desirable state of being. Living in poverty is worse for children than having a WOHM raising them.

If the WOHMs are helping out food on the table then their contribution is to be admired.

I think it’s better for children to have a WOHM raise them, period. Teaches them to be flexible, help with chores, etc. Children of SAHM, especially boys, are generally useless.

[Anonymous]

Meh! My DH makes $$$ but he values family time a lot. So I stay at home and have help so that everyone is thriving. Once my DH is home at 6 pm...he does not want to be vacuuming and neither do I.

If he was more ambitious then he would be making $$$$$...but I think we are satisfied with work life balance. Also, I like to spend time with him and fir me quality couple time is very important,beach and every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poverty is not a desirable state of being. Living in poverty is worse for children than having a WOHM raising them.

If the WOHMs are helping out food on the table then their contribution is to be admired.

I think it’s better for children to have a WOHM raise them, period. Teaches them to be flexible, help with chores, etc. Children of SAHM, especially boys, are generally useless.

I think you are right. My son is used to being waited hand and foot. Especially since he has realized that he can outsource to low educated WOHM service providers and outsource household chores, just like his SAH mother does..

Oh well, I guess he will just have to continue to work his ass off at school, go to college and be a high earner and wealthy person then.

I am sure in this big world he will be able to find a spouse who will make him happy.😁

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poverty is not a desirable state of being. Living in poverty is worse for children than having a WOHM raising them.

If the WOHMs are helping out food on the table then their contribution is to be admired.

I think it’s better for children to have a WOHM raise them, period. Teaches them to be flexible, help with chores, etc. Children of SAHM, especially boys, are generally useless.

Sure. You should delegate chores and responsibilities to children in an age appropriate manner. Unfortunately WOHMs usually are not doing delegation of duty but dereliction of duty.

No wonder the pandemic has whooped their butts👍👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is partly why I’d never quit my job even though I’d love to be a SAHM.

WOMEN are so harsh and judgmental about it. It’s really just women too, I don’t think men have these types of thoughts.

It’s a shame that moms can’t just support each other. We’re all working, one way or another.

100%

You should have more self confidence and own your choices.

As a SAHM, I am super thankful to the WOHM that support me and who free up my time to be with my kids. I have a terrific cleaning lady who is a WOHM because her life circumstances prevented her from going to college or being married before she had a kid. If she could stay at home, she would.

My kids live a cushier life than hers not because I am a SAHM and she is a WOHM...but because we are financially well off and she needs to work to survive.

I also appreciate the kick-ass WOHM who develop vaccines and argue important court cases and provide customer service to people who need help and generally contribute to society instead of obsessing over helicoptering their pampered brats

Appreciate the fact that some SAHM raised such kickass children.

[Anonymous]

How many WOHMs have dropped off the work force in 2020???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you value a good nanny’s work? And a great housekeeper? And a home manager? And a personal chef? That’s the roughly job of a SAHP - man or woman.

I don't agree with this way of looking at it. All WOH/WAH parents still have to do housekeeping, home managing, and cooking the meals. Some people outsource a lot of that but that is not limited to working parents, SAH parents outsource, too, if they have the funds.

So what it really comes down to is the difference between taking care of your children full-time vs. having someone assist with childcare while you work, usually for some part of the day. That's really the only difference with a SAHP.

Right which is why it’s fair to say they contribute less to society than working parents.

+1

How is this in question?

SAHM is for weak women who couldn’t make it in the workforce and instead depend on a man. You can’t convince me otherwise.

Working moms do everything SAHMs do and then some because they’re actually contributing to society through their work.

They’re not weak, they’re just not ambitious. Or, they made poor choices and married a workaholic who prioritizes $$$ over family.

Wait...why the negative talk about workaholics? I thought that all time spent not working was completely without value and spending time with family was only for the stupid and unambitious.
Shouldn’t we all strive to be workaholics, contribute as much to society as possible, and outsource our lives to other working people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the most impt part is the sahm valuing herself. Doesnt matter how anyone else values her. If shes doesnt value herself and how shes spending her time, then thats where the problem lies. Ive been a sahm, I lost myself, lost confidence in my self worth, lost my identity, etc, and just as I started picking up the pieces, Covid hit. Its hard not to get lost in the day to day grind of it all and I wish I had prioritized my own self care as much as I prioritized all the kid stuff.

OP here. I get what you’re saying but the funny thing is, I actually really enjoy just about every aspect of it. I love my day to day. It’s just that I know I could easily hire someone else to do it and that I’m not contributing to society like working people are.

I think we have to be ok with difference. It’s counterproductive to try to pretend everyone is equal when experience tells us we’re not. I know being a SAHM is not as important to society as a loooong list of occupations but I choose it anyway. It’s ok. We don’t have to be the same.

This is a messed up way to view the world.

Do you really think every secretary scheduling meetings is making major contributions to society? Do you think every lawyer looking for loopholes to avoid environmental regulation is improving society? Do you think every investment banker is improving society? Come on. I’m not disparaging paid work — we all need to eat — but only a very, very small percentage of working people are actually contributing to society—and many more are leaving the world a worst place than they found it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you value a good nanny’s work? And a great housekeeper? And a home manager? And a personal chef? That’s the roughly job of a SAHP - man or woman.

I don't agree with this way of looking at it. All WOH/WAH parents still have to do housekeeping, home managing, and cooking the meals. Some people outsource a lot of that but that is not limited to working parents, SAH parents outsource, too, if they have the funds.

So what it really comes down to is the difference between taking care of your children full-time vs. having someone assist with childcare while you work, usually for some part of the day. That's really the only difference with a SAHP.

Right which is why it’s fair to say they contribute less to society than working parents.

+1

How is this in question?

SAHM is for weak women who couldn’t make it in the workforce and instead depend on a man. You can’t convince me otherwise.

Working moms do everything SAHMs do and then some because they’re actually contributing to society through their work.

This isn't the case. During the hours the WOHMs are working, they by definition aren't doing what a SAHM does, namely childcare. Someone else is doing that. Whether the nanny or daycare worker or SAHM does it, that work is the same. You can't say that a working nanny contributes more to society than a SAHM does for the exact same job.

Well, my hours are flexible, so I work while they are at school. Which is most of their childhood, really... I suppose I could homeschool but I don’t think that is in their best interest.