If you’re a SAHM, how do you value your work?

[Anonymous]

This is partly why I’d never quit my job even though I’d love to be a SAHM.

WOMEN are so harsh and judgmental about it. It’s really just women too, I don’t think men have these types of thoughts.

It’s a shame that moms can’t just support each other. We’re all working, one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey don’t be so down on yourself, your work is fundamental to society by contributing to the next generation in a positive manner. A well loved and cared for child grows into a good member of society... so cheer up.

This is SUCH a good point! Children of dual-working parents are not well-loved or cared for so thank goodness we have some stay at home parents to make sure there are some of these in society!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think of it that way. Staying home with my kids (2 and 4) is what I want to do, and I think I have the right to spend my day/life the way I want to.

Yes, I think there are brilliant scientists, human rights lawyers, etc. who are "worth more" to society than I am. But I don't think only SAHM's can say that. Most employed people could say that, too.

The difference is, ALL SAHMs are worth less to society than the professionals you named. Some working people are, some are not (teachers, doctors, some lawyers, etc.).

I just think we have to be realistic about that.

SAHM is a lesser choice, for people who are maybe not as clever or ambitious. That’s ok. We’re not all equal.

You can be a teacher or a doctor and a SAHM. It’s not like you have to care for children all of your working life.

It’s ok that you can’t think of it that way. We don’t all have cognitive flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is partly why I’d never quit my job even though I’d love to be a SAHM.

WOMEN are so harsh and judgmental about it. It’s really just women too, I don’t think men have these types of thoughts.

It’s a shame that moms can’t just support each other. We’re all working, one way or another.

100%

[Anonymous]

So is the nanny not considered a working woman? Damn!!

[Anonymous]

Insurance advisor recommended 150K per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey don’t be so down on yourself, your work is fundamental to society by contributing to the next generation in a positive manner. A well loved and cared for child grows into a good member of society... so cheer up.

This is SUCH a good point! Children of dual-working parents are not well-loved or cared for so thank goodness we have some stay at home parents to make sure there are some of these in society!

What is your point? Are SAHMs worthwhile or not?

[Anonymous]

I value it at more than what I would get paid if I wasn’t doing it. Don’t we all value our time with our families and children, our free time, and our time to rest that way?
I make roughly $150/hr.
All of the time I am not at work I value at more than $150/hr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Insurance advisor recommended 150K per year.

This is roughly what DH and I calculated when we bought my life insurance as well. It was a combination of him needing to hire help and him needing to cut back at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is partly why I’d never quit my job even though I’d love to be a SAHM.

WOMEN are so harsh and judgmental about it. It’s really just women too, I don’t think men have these types of thoughts.

It’s a shame that moms can’t just support each other. We’re all working, one way or another.

100%

You should have more self confidence and own your choices.

As a SAHM, I am super thankful to the WOHM that support me and who free up my time to be with my kids. I have a terrific cleaning lady who is a WOHM because her life circumstances prevented her from going to college or being married before she had a kid. If she could stay at home, she would.

My kids live a cushier life than hers not because I am a SAHM and she is a WOHM...but because we are financially well off and she needs to work to survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey don’t be so down on yourself, your work is fundamental to society by contributing to the next generation in a positive manner. A well loved and cared for child grows into a good member of society... so cheer up.

This is SUCH a good point! Children of dual-working parents are not well-loved or cared for so thank goodness we have some stay at home parents to make sure there are some of these in society!

What is your point? Are SAHMs worthwhile or not?

Absolutely. SAHMs raise well adjusted kids who are valuable members of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think of it that way. Staying home with my kids (2 and 4) is what I want to do, and I think I have the right to spend my day/life the way I want to.

Yes, I think there are brilliant scientists, human rights lawyers, etc. who are "worth more" to society than I am. But I don't think only SAHM's can say that. Most employed people could say that, too.

The difference is, ALL SAHMs are worth less to society than the professionals you named. Some working people are, some are not (teachers, doctors, some lawyers, etc.).

I just think we have to be realistic about that.

SAHM is a lesser choice, for people who are maybe not as clever or ambitious. That’s ok. We’re not all equal.

Work is work. Getting into the game of value - a trash collector is worth less to society than a doctor etc - is a just useless endeavor. At the end of the day, society needs all workers. That important doctor relies on bus drivers and nannies too, whether for her own life or that of the patients she is dependent on.

This is so Pollyanna and you know it’s not true.

Lol that a trash collector is just as important as a doctor. I take your point that trash collecting is necessary but come on. Live in the land of reality.

Anyway, someday soon trash collection will be totally automated.

The doctor deserves to be paid more but sorry, I don't think someone is more important than another simply because of their job. Society needs all types.

[Anonymous]

We are not the super rich people and have just a HHI of 350K. My DH takes immense amount of pride in how great my kids do at school and how well educated I am. My staying at home allows us to concentrate on kids, family, home, education, DH's career advancement, elder care, volunteering, hobbies and our social life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So is the nanny not considered a working woman? Damn!!

This is what I don't understand about all these types of arguments. A nanny does the SAME job as a SAHM of young children (SAHMs of school age children are a small subset of SAHMs, many of whom return to work when their children are a little older, and agree that's a different argument).

You can't value the contributions of one and not the other.

[Anonymous]

In this area, usually the SAHMs are super educated and married to high earners.

Some might say that their education is wasted but I suspect that high earning males want to be matched to highly educated wives along with her having other attributes - looks, temperament, compatibility etc.

High earning men want the whole package in their wives regardless of if these wives want to be SAHM or WOHM. What is the point of having huge amounts of money if your kids are not thriving or your family life is shit?