Husbands not allowed at appointments—upset!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF having you been living under a rock?!? You know womem were giving birth without their husbands?! Why get pregnant during a pandemic if this bothers you #entitled

Thank you for saying what I have been thinking! My pregnant friend has been going to all of her appointments alone and she's not bitching and moaning all over the Internet about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a point of comparison:

My friend isn't allowed to accompany her husband with cancer to his appointments. Not chemotherapy appointments, talking appointments! As a result, some important medical info was not conveyed, because her husband is a little woozy from meds and couldn't quite follow along, and he got an infection that complicated his care.

The pandemic is lowering the quality of care for all patients, and I'm sure it has increased mortality from causes others than Covid-19.

That is awful. For appointments that are just discussions, the doctor should have offered televisits or for the spouse to be on the phone. With cancer, very often there is a caretaker involved and it’s critical that they hear important information direct from the doctor.

PP you replied to. I know, right!!! John Hopkins. The case manager sucks, too, apparently. My poor friend is on the verge of a breakdown from the stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get this sucks but you need to prepare yourself because this is only the beginning until this is all over. I just gave birth in May and had to deal with the real possibility of delivering alone. And even now only one parent is allowed at our child’s doctor visits so we have to rotate who gets to go.

So I did deliver in May and did have to deliver alone. I had a csection and Sibley did not allow partners.

I hear you OP, but I have to agree, you can be upset and bummed out that this is the way it is, but unfortunately on this board you have a bunch of women that have dealt with worse so tough to get sympathy.

I will say entering motherhood was a slap in the face that I’d have to buck up and be a real adult. I have four kids. I’ve spent many dr appts with them (most) solo ... plenty of ER visits and decision making on my own. So I agree with the PP that this is just the beginning. Empower yourself and feel confident and then share with your spouse all the details and the excitement of these visits. You got this and just be grateful for that healthy baby.

[Anonymous]

I doubt OP is still reading - but I want to chime in to say you don’t need to do everything together. 2 kids, one IVF and one spontaneous, my husband came to 3 appointments total - egg retrieval and 2 20wk ultrasounds.

When you have a baby, try not to do everything together. You don’t both need to be up every time the baby is up. If you do that, you will both be exhausted and agree with each other. I did all the night feedings for both my kids. In exchange, my husband washed all my pump parts, made daycare bottles, and took full duty 9pm-1am so I could always get 4 consecutive hours of sleep.

[Anonymous]

My cousin could not even stay in the hospital with his wife after their baby was born! She had a higher-risk pregnancy and had been on bed rest for months. He was able to be there for the delivery and hold the baby for a few minutes, but then had to leave. He did not get to see his wife and daughter again until he went to pick them up two days later. As harsh as this sounds, you need to suck it up.

[Anonymous]

There as seven pages here so far... I really hope the pregnant OP didn’t read through all these.

But if you have trudged through the mud, and read my post...

OP ....


1. I completely understand wanting hubby there for the first ultrasound of your first kid. This is not selfish.

2. Have you considered having the real “first” one being one that you privately pay for from a commercial location? You could pay for one and just not tell the OB that you had one.

Good luck, COVID sucks. My heart goes out to you.

[Anonymous]

To the women questioning "why did you get pregnant during COVID," I encourage you to hear a different perspective.

I tried getting pregnant for 3 years. Finally did. Had a miscarriage. Tried for another year. No luck. Began infertility testing, then COVID started. Had to pause everything, but doctors suggested we keep trying. I thought that was cute ... but it finally worked and stuck.

Some of us aren't lucky enough to pick and choose when we get pregnant. Posts chastising OP for getting pregnant during COVID are cruel. You can express your disagreement with her complaint without being nasty about her (and others) fertility journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the women questioning "why did you get pregnant during COVID," I encourage you to hear a different perspective.

I tried getting pregnant for 3 years. Finally did. Had a miscarriage. Tried for another year. No luck. Began infertility testing, then COVID started. Had to pause everything, but doctors suggested we keep trying. I thought that was cute ... but it finally worked and stuck.

Some of us aren't lucky enough to pick and choose when we get pregnant. Posts chastising OP for getting pregnant during COVID are cruel. You can express your disagreement with her complaint without being nasty about her (and others) fertility journey.

Glad you got pregnant, despite the timing. And somehow I think you are feeling grateful, not whining about how unfair it is that you can’t expose others to your husbandMs germs right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There as seven pages here so far... I really hope the pregnant OP didn’t read through all these.

But if you have trudged through the mud, and read my post...

OP ....


1. I completely understand wanting hubby there for the first ultrasound of your first kid. This is not selfish.

2. Have you considered having the real “first” one being one that you privately pay for from a commercial location? You could pay for one and just not tell the OB that you had one.

Good luck, COVID sucks. My heart goes out to you.

Nobody said wanting him there is selfish. Threatening to sue because he can't be there BECAUSE OF A GLOBAL PANDEMIC is selfish. Thinking her *want* is more important than the health and safety of the essential workers at that office and all the other patients is selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There as seven pages here so far... I really hope the pregnant OP didn’t read through all these.

But if you have trudged through the mud, and read my post...

OP ....

1. I completely understand wanting hubby there for the first ultrasound of your first kid. This is not selfish.

2. Have you considered having the real “first” one being one that you privately pay for from a commercial location? You could pay for one and just not tell the OB that you had one.

Good luck, COVID sucks. My heart goes out to you.

Nobody said wanting him there is selfish. Threatening to sue because he can't be there BECAUSE OF A GLOBAL PANDEMIC is selfish. Thinking her *want* is more important than the health and safety of the essential workers at that office and all the other patients is selfish.

Yeah, it’s this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the women questioning "why did you get pregnant during COVID," I encourage you to hear a different perspective.

I tried getting pregnant for 3 years. Finally did. Had a miscarriage. Tried for another year. No luck. Began infertility testing, then COVID started. Had to pause everything, but doctors suggested we keep trying. I thought that was cute ... but it finally worked and stuck.

Some of us aren't lucky enough to pick and choose when we get pregnant. Posts chastising OP for getting pregnant during COVID are cruel. You can express your disagreement with her complaint without being nasty about her (and others) fertility journey.

I also dealt with infertility before finally getting pregnant during the pandemic. I was sad and disappointed that my husband couldn’t come, but not once did I complain or think anything other than it was totally understandable and the right thing to do. I am just thankful to be pregnant. I also looked at the advantages—they allowed me to video an ultrasound so I have the baby and his heartbeat on video. We also have these sweet moments where I get to sit with him and share pictures sitting next to him—not laying half naked in a doctors office. Choosing the positives is just that—a choice.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of young widows delivering too these days. Maybe count your blessings?

[Anonymous]

This board is so "lawyer-y" it's pathetic. I wish it were more teacher-y or tech-y.

Really really can't wait to leave the DC area next year when I am done with this particular contract. Husband has already packed up our stuff that is non-essential to day-to-day life.

Really, sue your OB's office because your partner can't be at the ultrasound? Who thinks like that??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the women questioning "why did you get pregnant during COVID," I encourage you to hear a different perspective.

I tried getting pregnant for 3 years. Finally did. Had a miscarriage. Tried for another year. No luck. Began infertility testing, then COVID started. Had to pause everything, but doctors suggested we keep trying. I thought that was cute ... but it finally worked and stuck.

Some of us aren't lucky enough to pick and choose when we get pregnant. Posts chastising OP for getting pregnant during COVID are cruel. You can express your disagreement with her complaint without being nasty about her (and others) fertility journey.

We know that's not the case for the OP because you don't get through that with this degree of entitlement intact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the women questioning "why did you get pregnant during COVID," I encourage you to hear a different perspective.

I tried getting pregnant for 3 years. Finally did. Had a miscarriage. Tried for another year. No luck. Began infertility testing, then COVID started. Had to pause everything, but doctors suggested we keep trying. I thought that was cute ... but it finally worked and stuck.

Some of us aren't lucky enough to pick and choose when we get pregnant. Posts chastising OP for getting pregnant during COVID are cruel. You can express your disagreement with her complaint without being nasty about her (and others) fertility journey.

No one said she shouldn't have gotten pregnant now. We're saying you can't get pregnant now *and then complain that it's not like normal times.* you knew what the landscape was.