Husbands not allowed at appointments—upset!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a point of comparison:

My friend isn't allowed to accompany her husband with cancer to his appointments. Not chemotherapy appointments, talking appointments! As a result, some important medical info was not conveyed, because her husband is a little woozy from meds and couldn't quite follow along, and he got an infection that complicated his care.

The pandemic is lowering the quality of care for all patients, and I'm sure it has increased mortality from causes others than Covid-19.

That is awful. For appointments that are just discussions, the doctor should have offered televisits or for the spouse to be on the phone. With cancer, very often there is a caretaker involved and it’s critical that they hear important information direct from the doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, I did every appointment alone, except my amnio. And just my first amnio, for my second I went by myself. And there was no pandemic then.

I was even given bad news three times (three miscarriages).

Why did you go alone to every appointment? I'm sure that had to feel lonely and awful. I bet it would have been nice to have some support like OP is wanting, right? Also, so sorry for your losses.

NP. Why are you shaming and questioning her? Maybe her husband and partner was deployed, or working an unavoidable shift, or in a major trial, or performing surgery. Not everyone has low-key paper-pushing white collar jobs where you get to take off whenever you want. Just so you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, I did every appointment alone, except my amnio. And just my first amnio, for my second I went by myself. And there was no pandemic then.

I was even given bad news three times (three miscarriages).

Why did you go alone to every appointment? I'm sure that had to feel lonely and awful. I bet it would have been nice to have some support like OP is wanting, right? Also, so sorry for your losses.

NP. Why are you shaming and questioning her? Maybe her husband and partner was deployed, or working an unavoidable shift, or in a major trial, or performing surgery. Not everyone has low-key paper-pushing white collar jobs where you get to take off whenever you want. Just so you know.

I did all of mine alone because I’m single. Which doesn’t at all mean OP should want that. But it certainly means she can handle it.

[Anonymous]

It is not all about you.
Sorry.

If that doctor gets sick because of exposure to your husband, Hundreds of people will not get care.

We should do everything possible to keep our doctors and nurses safe. If they go down, we are all screwed. Additionally, don’t whine, they are all mentally and physically exhausted from COVID.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need him there? Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do not "need" him there; you want him there, which is fine. He doesn't come to your general gynecology appointments, right? He doesn't "need" to be at your pap smear, yes?

It's totally understandable that you WANT him there, but get a grip. People are dying. Medical professionals are trying to keep us safe. Do your part and be grateful that you have access to good medical care.

"Legally"? Really? GTFO. You are not the first person to have a baby. Now is a good time to grow up and understand that.

People are DYING ALONE, people have had to delay CANCER TREATMENTS, surely you can handle this.

Pretty much this.

Exactly. My mother was told to hold off on her chemo due to COVID and as a result her cancer markers ticked up significantly during the three months she was off treatment. That's a real problem. I have no sympathy for OP at all.

[Anonymous]

OP - You do not need your husband there. I understand you want him there, but remember the OB is there for the patient, that is, your child. It just like you don’t need him for your gynecological appointment.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. I'm as stoic as they come, but I needed my husband to be there for the first few ultrasounds (I am older and I did IVF). If something was wrong with the fetus, or they couldn't find an egg sac, I would've been devastated and wouldn't want to go through it alone. Fortunately my OB allowed spouses to be present at the ultrasounds and in the hospital. No advice for you, just sending good thoughts your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand the severity of this pandemic. I do. But I am absolutely crushed my husband can’t come with me to my first ultrasound appointment. I want and need him there for support (the thought of going alone makes me so anxious) and I find it so unfair that he’s not allowed to come, considering this baby is just as much his as it is mine. He is also super depressed about this “rule.”

Anyone else upset by this? Has anyone found a workaround that will allow husbands to at least attend the ultrasound portion of the appointment? I don’t see how him being there poses any more of a risk than ME being there (considering we live together...if he’s got it, I likely do too)!

What can we do?! Anything? Legally-does he have rights to have an active role in our baby’s prenatal care?

Lordy. Grow up. You need someone there for support for a doctor's appointment? You need to get some medication and start thinking about the health and safety of medical professionals during a pandemic.

You sound like an immature dolt.

[Anonymous]

You would benefit from therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do not "need" him there; you want him there, which is fine. He doesn't come to your general gynecology appointments, right? He doesn't "need" to be at your pap smear, yes?

It's totally understandable that you WANT him there, but get a grip. People are dying. Medical professionals are trying to keep us safe. Do your part and be grateful that you have access to good medical care.

"Legally"? Really? GTFO. You are not the first person to have a baby. Now is a good time to grow up and understand that.

People are DYING ALONE, people have had to delay CANCER TREATMENTS, surely you can handle this.

Pretty much this.

Exactly. My mother was told to hold off on her chemo due to COVID and as a result her cancer markers ticked up significantly during the three months she was off treatment. That's a real problem. I have no sympathy for OP at all.

+100 Zero sympathy for the self-centered OP. Totally needs to grow up and think of others. This is a minor inconvenience, not an emergency or anything even worth talking about. My two best friends can't see their aging, ill parents - not since March. One will certainly die from complications after covid. And die alone. THIS is a real problem and a tragedy.

And separately, I am truly sorry about your mother, and I hope she does well in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Jesus H Christ. You do NoT understand the severity of this epidemic if you are okay with exposing your doctors, other pregnancy women, and other health care workers to more risk just so you can have your DH with you. GROW UP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus H Christ. You do NoT understand the severity of this epidemic if you are okay with exposing your doctors, other pregnancy women, and other health care workers to more risk just so you can have your DH with you. GROW UP.

EXACTLY!

As a woman who went through pregnancy completely alone in a foreign country I can tell you that you will live, OP. Your post is very tone-deaf.

[Anonymous]

Nothing you said points to your first assertion that you understand the severity.

Do facetime with him and you'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

WTF having you been living under a rock?!? You know womem were giving birth without their husbands?! Why get pregnant during a pandemic if this bothers you #entitled