Husbands not allowed at appointments—upset!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get this sucks but you need to prepare yourself because this is only the beginning until this is all over. I just gave birth in May and had to deal with the real possibility of delivering alone. And even now only one parent is allowed at our child’s doctor visits so we have to rotate who gets to go.

"We have to rotate who gets to go". Do people actually want to go these doctor visits? I'd gladly let my husband take over it all.

[Anonymous]

It is hard, you can do it. My dr let me record the sonos, but there is nothing like being with your husband and hearing the heartbeat for the first time together

I deliver next month so basically did the entire pregnancy by myself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can he drive you there, and then either be on the phone with you on speaker during the appt while he waits in the car? And then drive you home? Is the practice OK with you facetiming during the appt with him in the car and you in the exam room?

Try to get creative with technology - the rules are in place for good reasons.

OMG this would be ridiculous. OP, you need to get over yourself. Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. You got this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get this sucks but you need to prepare yourself because this is only the beginning until this is all over. I just gave birth in May and had to deal with the real possibility of delivering alone. And even now only one parent is allowed at our child’s doctor visits so we have to rotate who gets to go.

"We have to rotate who gets to go". Do people actually want to go these doctor visits? I'd gladly let my husband take over it all.

Yeah, seriously. This is definitely FTP issues.

OP, this is just the first step into parenting where you will find that you will not be able to everything together, unless you plan on having no life outside parenting ever. You can be a team, but you don't have to joined at the hip all the time.

There will be things you have to do as a parent alone. Like take your kid to the ER alone because your partner is with the other kid at home. Or many other minor things that one has to do alone because the other is busy with someting else. Time to adult.

[Anonymous]

What are you going to do when your child begins to smile? Sit up? Walk? Learn to read? Date?

Insist to all nannies, babysitters, teachers and boyfriend/girlfriends involved that your child cannot possibly have a milestone unless you and your husband are both present? Life doesn't work like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out I was having a MC at my first appointment. I had to do that without my husband, plus two follow up appointments, a D&C, and multiple blood draws, all by myself. You’ll live.

I suspect that is exactly what OP is anxious about. I imagine you’d have preferred your husband be there, no?

Of course. But I also understand that sometimes my preferences have to give way to things like other people’s health and safety. I wish he could have been there, but I also think my doctor’s office made the right call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get on your knees and pray to God that this is the biggest problem you have during pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum.

If you are looking for sympathy and support, come back when you actually have a real hardship.

Wow, very disturbing reply. Although this doesn't seem like an issue for you, it is for her. It's a horrible thing when others feel they have the authority to tell someone that their problems are not "real" or not that bad. It seems like you may have had a bad experience and you're projecting it on others by being the "hardship police." Are you ok? Anything you'd like to talk about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the patient, OP. That’s why you’re allowed to be there. It has nothing to do with whose baby this is. Get over yourself. Quickly. Preferably before you become someone’s mom.

I'm curious as to why you felt the need to add "before you become someone's mom." A bit harsh don't you think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why anxious people shouldn't reproduce.

Ouch!! Just curious, am I the only one disturbed by this ignorant comment?? As a forum are we ok with this type of post? Mental health issues are not something to joke about. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health concern in the United States. You are the sad sad reason why people are ashamed to seek treatment for mental health disorders. Why would you say something so mean and ignorant? Would you like to apologize?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP congrats on the baby!

Go to the appointment, do a face time. Have the doc or someone there even take a photo of you and your facetiming DH together. It will go in the baby book as a crazy memory of pregnancy during covid.

It will be ok. I promise.

+ a million to this post! This sounds like a secure, confident, strong woman supporting one of her own that just needs a little reassurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, I did every appointment alone, except my amnio. And just my first amnio, for my second I went by myself. And there was no pandemic then.

I was even given bad news three times (three miscarriages).

Why did you go alone to every appointment? I'm sure that had to feel lonely and awful. I bet it would have been nice to have some support like OP is wanting, right? Also, so sorry for your losses.

[Anonymous]

As a point of comparison:

My friend isn't allowed to accompany her husband with cancer to his appointments. Not chemotherapy appointments, talking appointments! As a result, some important medical info was not conveyed, because her husband is a little woozy from meds and couldn't quite follow along, and he got an infection that complicated his care.

The pandemic is lowering the quality of care for all patients, and I'm sure it has increased mortality from causes others than Covid-19.

[Anonymous]

No, your husband does not have rights to be part of your prenatal care. If he did, every jerky baby dad on the planet could muscle his way into an appointment where he was not wanted. That's a terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're going to be a nightmare of a parent to deal with

Who knew that mom-shaming began even before the birth of a child...such a sad reply.

[Anonymous]

You’re going to have to adjust your expectations. I had a Covid test during a contraction. You will also have to wear a mask during labor and delivery. A healthy baby was more worth it to me than having my husband at my appointments. I had to be re-admitted after delivery without my husband and my week old child. Alone. But it’s a pandemic and there’s really nothing anyone can do. It sucks, but it is what it is.