Husbands not allowed at appointments—upset!!

[Anonymous]

Wow. I think it is fine to be disappointed, but you are taking it to the next level. Put your big girl pants on and move forward. There are so many times as a parent you aren't going to have "support." Move on.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry OP, but I hope this is the worst thing you have to deal with...

[Anonymous]

Get on your knees and pray to God that this is the biggest problem you have during pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum.

If you are looking for sympathy and support, come back when you actually have a real hardship.

[Anonymous]

+1000 to all the above telling you to suck it up.

But then, can you zoom/facetime/video him in from the exam room? He can see the US too then. It's not really going to be mindblowing. Have the tech print out a picture for you if s/he can.

[Anonymous]

Op I sympathize, and it sucks (I also just had my first ultrasound), but you had to know this was part of the deal getting pregnant during covid right? It’s a loss for sure, it’s ok to be disappointed. But don’t direct your anger at the offices and your tone like you are owed something during a pandemic (that is about a want and not about safety) is why the responses are a little harsh. While this sucks, saying that there is no way it increases risk is odd. It literally doubles exposure for the healthcare providers who are going into work each day so we can keep having these babies safely during this difficult time for us all. Your husband is just one person, but if every person has their partner Youve now doubled from 20 people the providers have spent extended time in a small room with that day to 40. That is not insignificant.

And don’t forget it is not just for the providers safety but also yours and your baby. You don’t want your provider being exposed to more and more people, and being more likely to get covid or have it spread in the office. Right now we all have to think of the good of the group and not ourselves. It’s hard but truly, you will be okay without him there and my provider said facetime has actually been working really well.

Sit in the disappointment but don’t attach it to others. This is a pandemic problem not a doctor or office problem.

As far as solutions some private ultrasound companies are allowing partners to come. So once you get farther along you can pay to go to one of those to have one of those in person which will be great for both of you. It is a loss for sure and I’m sorry!

[Anonymous]

OP congrats on the baby!

Go to the appointment, do a face time. Have the doc or someone there even take a photo of you and your facetiming DH together. It will go in the baby book as a crazy memory of pregnancy during covid.

It will be ok. I promise.

[Anonymous]

Toughen up and deal with it op.

I was alone at my 20 week ultrasound when I saw my baby passed away. You put your big girl panties on and keep going.

I’m sure everything will be fine. Have a healthy 9 months.

[Anonymous]

You being disappointed is understandable and fine.

You acting like this is wrong of the practice to have this rule, and even remotely thinking about legal recourses? That's ABSURD.

Grow up. Let this be the first of many, many lessons you have ahead of you as a mother: grow up, deal, be mature, be sensible, be safe, think of others, big picture. You have a lot to learn, and a long road ahead of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand the severity of this pandemic. I do. But I am absolutely crushed my husband can’t come with me to my first ultrasound appointment. I want and need him there for support (the thought of going alone makes me so anxious) and I find it so unfair that he’s not allowed to come, considering this baby is just as much his as it is mine. He is also super depressed about this “rule.”

Anyone else upset by this? Has anyone found a workaround that will allow husbands to at least attend the ultrasound portion of the appointment? I don’t see how him being there poses any more of a risk than ME being there (considering we live together...if he’s got it, I likely do too)!

What can we do?! Anything? Legally-does he have rights to have an active role in our baby’s prenatal care?

I am sad for you but your being "anxious" is not a reason to expose all the ultrasound staff, and the pregnant people they are exposed to, to another person during a pandemic.

This protects you and your baby too, from the other dozens of husbands they probably would typically see in a week.

And OMG "legally". SMDH. I hope you pull the "legally" card and they tell you to take your business elsewhere. We live in a society where people can't even be forced to bake cakes for groups they don't like and you think you can force someone to give you your ultrasound while you entitled-ly insist on bringing along a guest? You people are unbelieveable.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been sad about it but my husband has taken me to all my appointments and waited outside. If there was bad news he would be right outside the door waiting for me. I do have to text him right away after the doctor leaves giving him updates because he’s more nervous than I am! He also does all my telehealth appointments with me so he can meet the doctors and ask questions—they have been very supportive of that!

My first appointment was right as most practices were changing policies so I asked and their response was “we have a room full of pregnant women, we aren’t risking it.” A husband showed up and said he needed to translate for his wife. They said they had a translation service and he needed to step out of the office to wait. As for legal rights, I’ve heard hospitals can’t even test birth partners for COVID because they aren’t a patient.

You can’t have it both ways. You either understand the risks and follow them or you just don’t care about them only when it’s convenient for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand the severity of this pandemic. I do. But I am absolutely crushed my husband can’t come with me to my first ultrasound appointment. I want and need him there for support (the thought of going alone makes me so anxious) and I find it so unfair that he’s not allowed to come, considering this baby is just as much his as it is mine. He is also super depressed about this “rule.”

Anyone else upset by this? Has anyone found a workaround that will allow husbands to at least attend the ultrasound portion of the appointment? I don’t see how him being there poses any more of a risk than ME being there (considering we live together...if he’s got it, I likely do too)!

What can we do?! Anything? Legally-does he have rights to have an active role in our baby’s prenatal care?

You don't, if you are looking for ways to threaten legal action for something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not "need" him there; you want him there, which is fine. He doesn't come to your general gynecology appointments, right? He doesn't "need" to be at your pap smear, yes?

It's totally understandable that you WANT him there, but get a grip. People are dying. Medical professionals are trying to keep us safe. Do your part and be grateful that you have access to good medical care.

"Legally"? Really? GTFO. You are not the first person to have a baby. Now is a good time to grow up and understand that.

People are DYING ALONE, people have had to delay CANCER TREATMENTS, surely you can handle this.

Pretty much this.

[Anonymous]

I am single and both my best friend and my mom are my birth partners. Facetime is great for things like this.

[Anonymous]

This is why anxious people shouldn't reproduce.

[Anonymous]

OP you can switch to a practice that allows one support person and that’s it, no need to sue or anything.

I had some serious news delivered at my 20-week ultrasound and was thankful I had the support of my DH