Judgmental parents — why can’t people just mind their own business?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

That allowance is dedicated for the kid in the public school seat. As such, it should be entirely consumed via the education of the kid. If the kid isn’t there, the educational expense isnt there either so there is no “loss.”

The tax dollars that are provided for a student who is not in attendance, however, are there and are able to be spent on all the other kids who attend public.

There is a major difference.

I think the issue is more about who is bought into supporting public education. Public services and programs that are used by and available to everyone (e.g. Social Security) have more public support than programs that only serve low-income families. If high-income families flee public schools they are less likely to support taxes for public schools. As evidenced by the first post quoted above.

The post does not state or imply a lack of support for taxes for public schools. It notes the difference between taxes and dedicated per student expenditures.

My mistake. Was looking at the wrong quote. That said, I think the likelihood of getting out of paying local property taxes is nonexistent.

Of course but my point is lots of people who don't think they should be paying property taxes. Not good for public education.

My point was that that thought is a stretch. Probably an even bigger one in connection with those with the wherewithal to pay 50k per kid per year for private. In fact, I think the public’s probably benefit from NOT having those kinds of people beating down on them from the inside.

I actually think massive income inequality is a huge threat to public education.

I actually think it is the opposite. Buffett, Bezos, Larry Ellison and Jobs all went to public. Zuckerberg went to public for half of high school.

All are or were clearly hell bent on maximizing wealth concentration.

I think we need to focus on ending adoption. When 60% of some of the richest, self made people were adopted, something is going on.

Wut

Methinks there is some correlation vs causation stuff going on.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't take such offense OP. I used to be the same way. I had a sibling who had her kids in two pricey private schools in a 'W' zoned area. Don't get me wrong - the 'W' schools are great - the kids are out of this world smart and really push their kids. So if you want a place that is very competitive, by all means, 'W' schools are where it is at. However, they are still run by MCPS and as we have seen, the system is run poorly. This Fall I will am enrolling my child in private school. I honestly anticipate she will be more academically advanced than her peers in many areas (just like she was in public school) but I don't want to be part of MCPS anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s an insecure bitch-can’t stand people like this

You sound very friendly yourself.

So you’re exactly the sort of person OP’s friend is. Stop being so insecure.

How’d you get “insecure” from the prior post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

That allowance is dedicated for the kid in the public school seat. As such, it should be entirely consumed via the education of the kid. If the kid isn’t there, the educational expense isnt there either so there is no “loss.”

The tax dollars that are provided for a student who is not in attendance, however, are there and are able to be spent on all the other kids who attend public.

There is a major difference.

I think the issue is more about who is bought into supporting public education. Public services and programs that are used by and available to everyone (e.g. Social Security) have more public support than programs that only serve low-income families. If high-income families flee public schools they are less likely to support taxes for public schools. As evidenced by the first post quoted above.

The post does not state or imply a lack of support for taxes for public schools. It notes the difference between taxes and dedicated per student expenditures.

My mistake. Was looking at the wrong quote. That said, I think the likelihood of getting out of paying local property taxes is nonexistent.

Of course but my point is lots of people who don't think they should be paying property taxes. Not good for public education.

My point was that that thought is a stretch. Probably an even bigger one in connection with those with the wherewithal to pay 50k per kid per year for private. In fact, I think the public’s probably benefit from NOT having those kinds of people beating down on them from the inside.

I actually think massive income inequality is a huge threat to public education.

I actually think it is the opposite. Buffett, Bezos, Larry Ellison and Jobs all went to public. Zuckerberg went to public for half of high school.

All are or were clearly hell bent on maximizing wealth concentration.

I think we need to focus on ending adoption. When 60% of some of the richest, self made people were adopted, something is going on.

Is this a real post? I’ll give you an audience for your conspiracy theory because I’m genuinely curious what’s in your head. What do you believe is going on?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

That allowance is dedicated for the kid in the public school seat. As such, it should be entirely consumed via the education of the kid. If the kid isn’t there, the educational expense isnt there either so there is no “loss.”

The tax dollars that are provided for a student who is not in attendance, however, are there and are able to be spent on all the other kids who attend public.

There is a major difference.

I think the issue is more about who is bought into supporting public education. Public services and programs that are used by and available to everyone (e.g. Social Security) have more public support than programs that only serve low-income families. If high-income families flee public schools they are less likely to support taxes for public schools. As evidenced by the first post quoted above.

The post does not state or imply a lack of support for taxes for public schools. It notes the difference between taxes and dedicated per student expenditures.

My mistake. Was looking at the wrong quote. That said, I think the likelihood of getting out of paying local property taxes is nonexistent.

Of course but my point is lots of people who don't think they should be paying property taxes. Not good for public education.

My point was that that thought is a stretch. Probably an even bigger one in connection with those with the wherewithal to pay 50k per kid per year for private. In fact, I think the public’s probably benefit from NOT having those kinds of people beating down on them from the inside.

I actually think massive income inequality is a huge threat to public education.

I actually think it is the opposite. Buffett, Bezos, Larry Ellison and Jobs all went to public. Zuckerberg went to public for half of high school.

All are or were clearly hell bent on maximizing wealth concentration.

I think we need to focus on ending adoption. When 60% of some of the richest, self made people were adopted, something is going on.

Is this a real post? I’ll give you an audience for your conspiracy theory because I’m genuinely curious what’s in your head. What do you believe is going on?!

No. It’s a joke directed at some of the folks who were making odd or silly connections up thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

Welcome to my life. It's even more uncomfortable when it's your own extended family around holidays and summer gatherings. What makes it worse, 99% of the public boosters have never stepped foot in a private school, let alone studied the profiles and data and talked to current families. They're totally ignorant, it's just emotions and insecurities and stereotypes -- it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation with people like that.

OP here. Yep. I went to a NE boarding school for high school. Most people who criticize those places as bastions of elite douchebag kids have zero exposure to those schools outside of watching Dead Poets Society. They have no concept of the fact that 50% of the kids are on financial aid, with the average grant covering 80% of tuition.

My extended family tut tutted about my parents letting me go there and then dismissed every single thing I did afterwards by saying “oh it’s just because she got connections from Andover.”

Ok so the net of this is that you have a particular chip on your shoulder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Because she felt judged that she wasn't as a good a parent as you.

We chose MCPS over privates for our child with special needs, so her argument is not valid anyway.

Apparently you can't mind your own business either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

Its a sign of a weak ability to be a friend when someone starts a sentence with " why would you do that" about a personal decision you have thought a lot about

Imagine if you said, " I'm getting married " and they responded - " WHY... ?"

Or if you said, " I've decided to quit the law firm and open a restaurant and they respond , " WHY would anyone do that???"

Not a friend -and its not anything to do with private vs public

Your " friend" doesn't want you to have anything she is afraid she is not able to have or do . Period.

Move on, but not just in the conversation

This right here is the problem, and it’s an attitude that is far too prevalent among private school parents. Not everyone who chooses public does do because they cannot afford private. For many people, it’s a matter of values, about caring about your community beyond just your own household, and feeling it’s important to be part of what a pp referred to as the “common good.” Sure, Maine you’re friend is jealous like this poster assumes. But her response have stemmed from a disappointment in learning that you two don’t share the same values.

Sure, Jan.

People like you PP crack me up. You always seem to be bending over backwards to assure everyone you CAN afford private but you are just too virtuous to be oh-so-selfish. And all the while you live in a house specifically purchased because it’s in a very white, UMC suburb that feeds a top rate public school with a minimum of FARMs kids. Go off with yourself honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

Its a sign of a weak ability to be a friend when someone starts a sentence with " why would you do that" about a personal decision you have thought a lot about

Imagine if you said, " I'm getting married " and they responded - " WHY... ?"

Or if you said, " I've decided to quit the law firm and open a restaurant and they respond , " WHY would anyone do that???"

Not a friend -and its not anything to do with private vs public

Your " friend" doesn't want you to have anything she is afraid she is not able to have or do . Period.

Move on, but not just in the conversation

This exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, this pandemic has shown the worst side of private schools in Montgomery County.

Disagree. I always thought I would send my kids to public school. Seeing how public schools dealt with the pandemic, DL for young kids, and the utter caving to politics and unions has made me seriously question whether I will ever send my kids to public schools again even if it makes our lives tougher in many ways down the line. I’m particularly ashamed of DCPS and MCPS considering their community numbers.

Hear hear!!!!

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t have the money from private school and resents that you and others have the choice?

[Anonymous]

For^^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't take such offense OP. I used to be the same way. I had a sibling who had her kids in two pricey private schools in a 'W' zoned area. Don't get me wrong - the 'W' schools are great - the kids are out of this world smart and really push their kids. So if you want a place that is very competitive, by all means, 'W' schools are where it is at. However, they are still run by MCPS and as we have seen, the system is run poorly. This Fall I will am enrolling my child in private school. I honestly anticipate she will be more academically advanced than her peers in many areas (just like she was in public school) but I don't want to be part of MCPS anymore.

You sound like us. We were very happy in our MCPS school in a "W" cluster - until we weren't - and the change had nothing to do with the school or the teachers. It is all to do with the system and the idiots running/ruining it. Now it's private school for our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t have the money from private school and resents that you and others have the choice?

OP here. They make about $200K and have 2 kids. They could apply for FA. I don’t think finances are the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t have the money from private school and resents that you and others have the choice?

OP here. They make about $200K and have 2 kids. They could apply for FA. I don’t think finances are the issue.

200k after taxes is in the 100-125 range? DC privates cost about that much for 2 kids. They would have no money to live on without almost total FA.