Judgmental parents — why can’t people just mind their own business?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

She wishes she could send her kid to private. No other reason for a judgmental response like that. Your choice for your child has nothing to do with her insecure azz.

More likely she is regurgitating something a coworker or real estate agent said awhile back and she did zero due diligence (on DCUM or otherwise). She also prob doesn’t know how toxic the local MoCo Gov’t is either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s an insecure bitch-can’t stand people like this

You sound very friendly yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

She wishes she could send her kid to private. No other reason for a judgmental response like that. Your choice for your child has nothing to do with her insecure azz.

More likely she is regurgitating something a coworker or real estate agent said awhile back and she did zero due diligence (on DCUM or otherwise). She also prob doesn’t know how toxic the local MoCo Gov’t is either.

OP here. Yeah, she told me “oh well these schools are ranked so highly on Niche!” I wasn’t going to tell her all of the problems days before her kid starts kindergarten. It seemed cruel. She’ll either figure it out on her own and switch her kid, or decide it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

She wishes she could send her kid to private. No other reason for a judgmental response like that. Your choice for your child has nothing to do with her insecure azz.

More likely she is regurgitating something a coworker or real estate agent said awhile back and she did zero due diligence (on DCUM or otherwise). She also prob doesn’t know how toxic the local MoCo Gov’t is either.

OP here. Yeah, she told me “oh well these schools are ranked so highly on Niche!” I wasn’t going to tell her all of the problems days before her kid starts kindergarten. It seemed cruel. She’ll either figure it out on her own and switch her kid, or decide it’s fine.

Many keep their head in the sand. I was at a large corporate in Bethesda 2009-2017 and watched my coworkers go from loving their MCPS schools to being very concerned for their youngest ones in 2012 with curriculum 2.0 and then subsequent changes. Unf we had bought in MOCo by then but our kids started at private schools in DC three years ago. We just don’t have time for MCPS nonstop drama.

[Anonymous]

Don’t overthink her reaction. It’s the same thing as someone saying “I can’t see why someone would pay $$$ for a Tesla when you can pay $ for a [whatever car] that’ll still get your there.”

You value different things, at least related to education. That’s probably guided by personal experiences. And honestly, neither of you are right or wrong!

There’s no perfect school for everyone. Some want a small school with a strong community. Some value larger, more diverse schools. Some value schools with strong music departments, sports, debate, or whatever. Some value going to the school down the street that they can walk to.

Her reaction is annoying, but it would be equally annoying if you to think that whatever school you pick is inherently “better” than her MCPS school. Your school will probably be better for your kid. Hopefully her school is better for her kid, too.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry about it because MOCO sucks.

[Anonymous]

MCPS is great for some kids and families but not others. It is not great for us.

[Anonymous]

If you choose private over public, it’s because of you think it’s better. Just ow it and don’t get annoyed when people try to figgure out why you think it’s better.

[Anonymous]

She was trying to share some wisdom — accurate or not — with her friend.

[Anonymous]

Op I had almost the same conversation with a friend when we decided to send DD to private. I was very direct criticism of our choice. We got past it in the friendship. But I stopped talking about my child’s school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

Np Now you know that sometimes you have to be vague in your answers. I know it is annoying but, honestly she sounds like she is unsure of her choice and is pushing back. Next time if someone asks just say you don't know! If you keep saying it they will stop asking. I agree it isn't any of her business!

[Anonymous]

The fact that you were so bothered about her comments is more about you than her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you were so bothered about her comments is more about you than her.

What do you think it says about me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

Its a sign of a weak ability to be a friend when someone starts a sentence with " why would you do that" about a personal decision you have thought a lot about

Imagine if you said, " I'm getting married " and they responded - " WHY... ?"

Or if you said, " I've decided to quit the law firm and open a restaurant and they respond , " WHY would anyone do that???"

Not a friend -and its not anything to do with private vs public

Your " friend" doesn't want you to have anything she is afraid she is not able to have or do . Period.

Move on, but not just in the conversation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you were so bothered about her comments is more about you than her.

What do you think it says about me?

You care a lot about how others perceive the decisions you have made.