Judgmental parents — why can’t people just mind their own business?

[Anonymous]

People like this are so obnoxious, but they are everywhere. its actually why I dont like having friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here with a 1 year old. I went to private school but plan to send DD to MCPS, though I recognize that can change.

I think a lot of people who don't have school-age children feel strongly that sending their kids to public school is the socially responsible thing to do. Basically, they want to support public education and have their child be in a diverse environment.

But I've seen how some of my coworkers (none of us are super wealthy) ended up choosing private even though that wasn't what they were planning, it just ended up being what worked better for them. So I definitely don't judge. But I can see why people might - it's just a lack of real-world experience.

I think you're giving far too much credit to the people like OP's friend. It's not that deep -- it's generally ignorance and trigger's jealousy.

Find me someone like OP's friend who has studied the local privates vis a vis publics and I'll eat my hat. Matter of fact, ask them one simple question: What's the SAT or ACT average and what's the college readiness rate of 12th graders coming out of [local public high school]. I guarantee they have no idea. The people who spew this negativity are generally ignorant as heck. Informed people are balanced and cordial and can see pros and cons of both sides.

Your view is based on what exactly?

For a bunch of people here claiming public school parents are “judgmental,” there is an astounding lack of self-awareness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent.

I was chatting with a friend of 8 years the other day. She has a 5 year old; I have a 3.5 year old. Her kid is starting kindergarten in their local MCPS school this fall. We were talking about how big the kids are getting, etc.

My friend asked what we’re doing for kindergarten. I told her we’re going to be looking at private schools. She said, “why would you do that?!” I just said that it’s the right decision for us. She kept going. “MCPS is so good! I can’t imagine why *anyone* would do that, unless they had some special situation or something.”

We ended up moving on to other things, but it just really irked me. I don’t understand why people can’t just let everyone do what’s right for them.

Rant over.

Welcome to my life. It's even more uncomfortable when it's your own extended family around holidays and summer gatherings. What makes it worse, 99% of the public boosters have never stepped foot in a private school, let alone studied the profiles and data and talked to current families. They're totally ignorant, it's just emotions and insecurities and stereotypes -- it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation with people like that.

OP here. Yep. I went to a NE boarding school for high school. Most people who criticize those places as bastions of elite douchebag kids have zero exposure to those schools outside of watching Dead Poets Society. They have no concept of the fact that 50% of the kids are on financial aid, with the average grant covering 80% of tuition.

My extended family tut tutted about my parents letting me go there and then dismissed every single thing I did afterwards by saying “oh it’s just because she got connections from Andover.”

Were you on aid OP? And please you can't say your connections have not helped and what your relatives say is wrong. That is a very typical response when in fact going to Andover likely gave you a leg up.

Andover helped me get into the college I wanted, but I haven’t used anyone I know from there for job opportunities or anything else.

[Anonymous]

When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here with a 1 year old. I went to private school but plan to send DD to MCPS, though I recognize that can change.

I think a lot of people who don't have school-age children feel strongly that sending their kids to public school is the socially responsible thing to do. Basically, they want to support public education and have their child be in a diverse environment.

But I've seen how some of my coworkers (none of us are super wealthy) ended up choosing private even though that wasn't what they were planning, it just ended up being what worked better for them. So I definitely don't judge. But I can see why people might - it's just a lack of real-world experience.

I think you're giving far too much credit to the people like OP's friend. It's not that deep -- it's generally ignorance and trigger's jealousy.

Find me someone like OP's friend who has studied the local privates vis a vis publics and I'll eat my hat. Matter of fact, ask them one simple question: What's the SAT or ACT average and what's the college readiness rate of 12th graders coming out of [local public high school]. I guarantee they have no idea. The people who spew this negativity are generally ignorant as heck. Informed people are balanced and cordial and can see pros and cons of both sides.

PP here. Look, I went to a private school. I also went to public school later on. I've seen both environments. I definitely understand the benefits of private. But they are very individual. Test scores really have nothing to do with IMO. All that tells you is about demographics of who attends each school. You take the same students in the private school, go back in time and put them in a public school and in all likelihood most of their test scores will be exactly the same.

Of course you dismiss test scores and college readiness rates, because they cut through the BS. Why is someone like you trolling the private school forum? Still holding a grudge decades after leaving a private school? Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here with a 1 year old. I went to private school but plan to send DD to MCPS, though I recognize that can change.

I think a lot of people who don't have school-age children feel strongly that sending their kids to public school is the socially responsible thing to do. Basically, they want to support public education and have their child be in a diverse environment.

But I've seen how some of my coworkers (none of us are super wealthy) ended up choosing private even though that wasn't what they were planning, it just ended up being what worked better for them. So I definitely don't judge. But I can see why people might - it's just a lack of real-world experience.

I think you're giving far too much credit to the people like OP's friend. It's not that deep -- it's generally ignorance and trigger's jealousy.

Find me someone like OP's friend who has studied the local privates vis a vis publics and I'll eat my hat. Matter of fact, ask them one simple question: What's the SAT or ACT average and what's the college readiness rate of 12th graders coming out of [local public high school]. I guarantee they have no idea. The people who spew this negativity are generally ignorant as heck. Informed people are balanced and cordial and can see pros and cons of both sides.

PP here. Look, I went to a private school. I also went to public school later on. I've seen both environments. I definitely understand the benefits of private. But they are very individual. Test scores really have nothing to do with IMO. All that tells you is about demographics of who attends each school. You take the same students in the private school, go back in time and put them in a public school and in all likelihood most of their test scores will be exactly the same.

Of course you dismiss test scores and college readiness rates, because they cut through the BS. Why is someone like you trolling the private school forum? Still holding a grudge decades after leaving a private school? Let it go.

Because I find these forums greatly amusing. Like your post, for example. In no universe am I trashing private schools. Sorry my real world experience is threatening to you. I'm very grateful for both my private and public schools. Got a full tuition scholarship to numerous private schools and have my dream job now.

[Anonymous]

There are two types of obnoxious private school haters:

i) Totally ignorant, no experience in private, have never toured a private, and don't know any private families all that well.
ii) Mostly ignorant, washed out of a private school (typically some local Catholic), still have a chip on their shoulder, think every private is like the one they hated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

That allowance is dedicated for the kid in the public school seat. As such, it should be entirely consumed via the education of the kid. If the kid isn’t there, the educational expense isnt there either so there is no “loss.”

The tax dollars that are provided for a student who is not in attendance, however, are there and are able to be spent on all the other kids who attend public.

There is a major difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

Ok, but wouldn't that per pupil allowance have been needed for that pupil (that isn't there and isn't requiring resources)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

That allowance is dedicated for the kid in the public school seat. As such, it should be entirely consumed via the education of the kid. If the kid isn’t there, the educational expense isnt there either so there is no “loss.”

The tax dollars that are provided for a student who is not in attendance, however, are there and are able to be spent on all the other kids who attend public.

There is a major difference.

Should have said - the tax dollars flow to the school district regardless of whether the child attends (which creates the expense) so when you have the tax dollars but no kid to educate, it’s much different than the loss of a dedicated allowance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

Ok, but wouldn't that per pupil allowance have been needed for that pupil (that isn't there and isn't requiring resources)?

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people who send their kids to private get out of paying the full freight on local taxes public folks can claim THEY are doing what’s needed for the common good. Until then, the Public parents have no moral superiority to assert. Everyone is footing the same bill.

Very fair.

But the local school loses per pupil allowance no matter if you still pay taxes.

That allowance is dedicated for the kid in the public school seat. As such, it should be entirely consumed via the education of the kid. If the kid isn’t there, the educational expense isnt there either so there is no “loss.”

The tax dollars that are provided for a student who is not in attendance, however, are there and are able to be spent on all the other kids who attend public.

There is a major difference.

I think the issue is more about who is bought into supporting public education. Public services and programs that are used by and available to everyone (e.g. Social Security) have more public support than programs that only serve low-income families. If high-income families flee public schools they are less likely to support taxes for public schools. As evidenced by the first post quoted above.

[Anonymous]

Without knowing OP, I can tell she doesn’t work.