Should I ask my neighbor if I can use their pool this summer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this was a totally reasonable question. People on here can be so unnecessarily mean.

What other things do you think qualify as “reasonable “ questions?

- Your house is bigger than mine. Can my in-laws stay with you for two week in July?
- I only have one car. Can my godson borrow yours to drive to California?
- Can I store my quarantine supplies in your chest freezer?
-Will you co-sign a loan for my nephew? I hear your credit rating is good.
- We’ll just use your WiFi. Can you tell me the password?
-Can you add my name to your Prime membership so I can get free shipping?

If any of these things would bother you, can you tell me why they do? Keep in mind that if the OP already had a positive, mutually supportive relationship with the neighbor, they probably wouldn’t be crowd sourcing this question with a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Lol I bet dumbass PP has personally asked her neighbor at least one of these questions.

[Anonymous]

I have a pool. I only offer the use of it to my friends and family that I know well and I would feel horribly uncomfortable if an acquaintance asked to use it "several hours a week."

You are imposing if you ask and assuming a lot.

If I were you, I would go on eBay and purchase one of those above ground Intex pools that are 48" deep, 15' wide and call it a day. The kids will enjoy it and you don't have to put out your neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I wouldn't do it because if I had a pool, I would feel extremely uncomfortable saying no, but I would have to.

Why would you have to? If this was my pool, I would let my neighbor use the pool given the circumstances.

OP: I would ask. I'd send an email, so she could think about it w/o it being awkward. I would make it incredibly clear she could say no. I would offer to chip in for pool maintenance upfront. I would say we would use it at any time that suited her. I would bring my own chairs over/not touch any of her stuff. I would make it clear that I was only asking because of COVID, etc and 100% understood that this would not continue to any other summer, etc.

+1 all this, plus offer to cover most if not all of the pool costs for this year, assuming the neighbors will hardly use it and your kids will use it regularly for a few hours every week. Plus it's near impossible to keep kids quiet in pools. "Chip in" sounds like you're going to give a few hundred bucks to which I'd say no thanks. If noise bothers the neighbors they will say No to any amount.

-1,000,000

Wtf is wrong with you people? You DO NOT put anyone in an awkward position by asking. This is basic etiquette. Please, use the common sense that the good Lord gave you.

+1

Big assumption on the brains or common sense, PP.

I have seen this - the neighbor did not dissuade all their kids from gathering at the window, sidewalk, whatever. The neighbor who actually took time with their kids thought nothing of ignoring them - and the rest of the neighborhood fully condoned it. Don't be THAT neighbor, OP.

[Anonymous]

It's far from polite to ask for things not offered, in the guise of being "helpful" because your children would bring sunbeams to someone else's sad little life.

Don't rely on social pressure to try to bully your way in. As noted on this thread, a lot of people have figured out how to extend invitations on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's far from polite to ask for things not offered, in the guise of being "helpful" because your children would bring sunbeams to someone else's sad little life.

Don't rely on social pressure to try to bully your way in. As noted on this thread, a lot of people have figured out how to extend invitations on their own.

I’m sure OP’s kids are adorable and would be sunbeams in this lady’s life. Why so negative??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's far from polite to ask for things not offered, in the guise of being "helpful" because your children would bring sunbeams to someone else's sad little life.

Don't rely on social pressure to try to bully your way in. As noted on this thread, a lot of people have figured out how to extend invitations on their own.

I’m sure OP’s kids are adorable and would be sunbeams in this lady’s life. Why so negative??

Judging from OP’s question, I’d say her kids are entitled shits, like their mom.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see what the big deal is. Just ask!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see what the big deal is. Just ask!

Cretin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's far from polite to ask for things not offered, in the guise of being "helpful" because your children would bring sunbeams to someone else's sad little life.

Don't rely on social pressure to try to bully your way in. As noted on this thread, a lot of people have figured out how to extend invitations on their own.

I’m sure OP’s kids are adorable and would be sunbeams in this lady’s life. Why so negative??

Judging from OP’s question, I’d say her kids are entitled shits, like their mom.

+1

Sunbeams? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this was a totally reasonable question. People on here can be so unnecessarily mean.

What other things do you think qualify as “reasonable “ questions?

- Your house is bigger than mine. Can my in-laws stay with you for two week in July?
- I only have one car. Can my godson borrow yours to drive to California?
- Can I store my quarantine supplies in your chest freezer?
-Will you co-sign a loan for my nephew? I hear your credit rating is good.
- We’ll just use your WiFi. Can you tell me the password?
-Can you add my name to your Prime membership so I can get free shipping?

If any of these things would bother you, can you tell me why they do? Keep in mind that if the OP already had a positive, mutually supportive relationship with the neighbor, they probably wouldn’t be crowd sourcing this question with a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Lol I bet dumbass PP has personally asked her neighbor at least one of these questions.

+1

The type of neighbor who asks to borrow something before the moving truck is unloaded. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this was a totally reasonable question. People on here can be so unnecessarily mean.

What other things do you think qualify as “reasonable “ questions?

- Your house is bigger than mine. Can my in-laws stay with you for two week in July?
- I only have one car. Can my godson borrow yours to drive to California?
- Can I store my quarantine supplies in your chest freezer?
-Will you co-sign a loan for my nephew? I hear your credit rating is good.
- We’ll just use your WiFi. Can you tell me the password?
-Can you add my name to your Prime membership so I can get free shipping?

If any of these things would bother you, can you tell me why they do? Keep in mind that if the OP already had a positive, mutually supportive relationship with the neighbor, they probably wouldn’t be crowd sourcing this question with a bunch of strangers on the internet.

+1

You nailed it with your list, and also this phrase. People like OP are takers. That is what they do, they take.

Back off, OP. Let your neighbor enjoy their own yard. Don't be a parasite.

+1

I'll bet OP is also one of the "we're stopping by your city for a few days, it's fine with you if my family of 4 sleeps on your couch, right? You'll hardly even notice us" people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this was a totally reasonable question. People on here can be so unnecessarily mean.

What other things do you think qualify as “reasonable “ questions?

- Your house is bigger than mine. Can my in-laws stay with you for two week in July?
- I only have one car. Can my godson borrow yours to drive to California?
- Can I store my quarantine supplies in your chest freezer?
-Will you co-sign a loan for my nephew? I hear your credit rating is good.
- We’ll just use your WiFi. Can you tell me the password?
-Can you add my name to your Prime membership so I can get free shipping?

If any of these things would bother you, can you tell me why they do? Keep in mind that if the OP already had a positive, mutually supportive relationship with the neighbor, they probably wouldn’t be crowd sourcing this question with a bunch of strangers on the internet.

+1

You nailed it with your list, and also this phrase. People like OP are takers. That is what they do, they take.

Back off, OP. Let your neighbor enjoy their own yard. Don't be a parasite.

+1

I'll bet OP is also one of the "we're stopping by your city for a few days, it's fine with you if my family of 4 sleeps on your couch, right? You'll hardly even notice us" people.

"plus our dog of course, but he's mostly toilet trained too!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's far from polite to ask for things not offered, in the guise of being "helpful" because your children would bring sunbeams to someone else's sad little life.

Don't rely on social pressure to try to bully your way in. As noted on this thread, a lot of people have figured out how to extend invitations on their own.

I’m sure OP’s kids are adorable and would be sunbeams in this lady’s life. Why so negative??

So, why then would they not have yet received an invitation? Why not even invited over regularly, even without the pool?

There is no child who would be a panacea for everyone's life. People are allowed not to crave spending time with your child. Really. They are. And they know that if they want to spend time with your child, they can make that happen.

Really, they do.

Doesn't say anything about the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's far from polite to ask for things not offered, in the guise of being "helpful" because your children would bring sunbeams to someone else's sad little life.

Don't rely on social pressure to try to bully your way in. As noted on this thread, a lot of people have figured out how to extend invitations on their own.

I’m sure OP’s kids are adorable and would be sunbeams in this lady’s life. Why so negative??

So, why then would they not have yet received an invitation? Why not even invited over regularly, even without the pool?

There is no child who would be a panacea for everyone's life. People are allowed not to crave spending time with your child. Really. They are. And they know that if they want to spend time with your child, they can make that happen.

Really, they do.

Doesn't say anything about the child.

Pretty sure the PP was joking...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we have an older neighbor (no kids in the house) who has a gorgeous pool accessible via our back yard. We're not friends but friendly. With the reopening of pools still TBD, do you think it would be wildly inappropriate to ask her if I could use the pool with my two kids for a couple hours each week? Of course, I'd completely understand if she said no, would sign a liability waiver, clear dates/times with her in advance, set up clear usage guidelines, and even offer to pitch-in for pool maintenance, etc. Thoughts?

I have a pool and would have no probably telling you “hell no”.