Should I ask my neighbor if I can use their pool this summer?

[Anonymous]

I bet she would love to see your kids enjoying the pool! Especially if she is older and doesn’t have kids around anymore.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think this was a totally reasonable question. People on here can be so unnecessarily mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this was a totally reasonable question. People on here can be so unnecessarily mean.

Were you raised in a barn?

[Anonymous]

1. Gross in all levels
2. Build your own pool or buy something to get you through the summer
3. Have the children play with a sprinkler and hose like we did growing up
4. Only if she extends an invitation
5. Where are your manners?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet she would love to see your kids enjoying the pool! Especially if she is older and doesn’t have kids around anymore.

I understand the thought process but I believe this would only be the case if the pool owner was the one initiating the exchange. Just because you are older and missing your kids doesn't mean you want X family over. It would have to be X family you care about and we don't really know the relationship between OP and the neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Im not from DC but lurk on this board. In my rural cul de sac of 8 homes in upstate NY, 2/3 families with inground pools have offered them to the neighborhood kids (the third family has four young kids of their own and often use the pool, so it makes sense why they wouldn't offer). My kids and I have been going for an hour or so 1x2 a week so far. I bring a plant or a bottle of wine for the homeowners each time.

Maybe in DC it would be rude to ask, but if it were me I would ask and would give MANY gifts if the homeowner accepted.

The empty nester couple particularly likes to have our kids visit. They text and offer all the time. They say the noise bring them joy. I don't understand it as it gives me a headache, but whatever

Keep us posted, OP. Im curious now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet she would love to see your kids enjoying the pool! Especially if she is older and doesn’t have kids around anymore.

I understand the thought process but I believe this would only be the case if the pool owner was the one initiating the exchange. Just because you are older and missing your kids doesn't mean you want X family over. It would have to be X family you care about and we don't really know the relationship between OP and the neighbor.

Yes. If that neighbor is so demented that she can't come up with a plan to issue an invitation herself -- that is, if she truly "would love to see your lids enjoying the pool!" -- then she is too far out of it to care.

Come on. If she were sitting there wistfully wishing some children would splash around in that empty pool, she wouldn't be afraid to offer. She's older than OP, but that doesn't mean she's too old to figure out how to invite someone over -- if she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im not from DC but lurk on this board. In my rural cul de sac of 8 homes in upstate NY, 2/3 families with inground pools have offered them to the neighborhood kids (the third family has four young kids of their own and often use the pool, so it makes sense why they wouldn't offer). My kids and I have been going for an hour or so 1x2 a week so far. I bring a plant or a bottle of wine for the homeowners each time.

Maybe in DC it would be rude to ask, but if it were me I would ask and would give MANY gifts if the homeowner accepted.

The empty nester couple particularly likes to have our kids visit. They text and offer all the time. They say the noise bring them joy. I don't understand it as it gives me a headache, but whatever

Keep us posted, OP. Im curious now.

Hmmm. I guess if people want to have neighbors over, maybe they will ask them?

[Anonymous]

What the hell is wrong with you OP?

[Anonymous]

I would not ask in a million years. It would never even occur to me. If I had a pool, I would likely invite neighbors we are friends with occasionally, when it was convenient for me, but would be irked if they asked. I am an introvert, but a people pleaser, so that would put me in a difficult position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this was a totally reasonable question. People on here can be so unnecessarily mean.

What other things do you think qualify as “reasonable “ questions?

- Your house is bigger than mine. Can my in-laws stay with you for two week in July?
- I only have one car. Can my godson borrow yours to drive to California?
- Can I store my quarantine supplies in your chest freezer?
-Will you co-sign a loan for my nephew? I hear your credit rating is good.
- We’ll just use your WiFi. Can you tell me the password?
-Can you add my name to your Prime membership so I can get free shipping?

If any of these things would bother you, can you tell me why they do? Keep in mind that if the OP already had a positive, mutually supportive relationship with the neighbor, they probably wouldn’t be crowd sourcing this question with a bunch of strangers on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of being a good neighbor is never putting your other neighbors in an uncomfortable position, OP. We are in the middle of a pandemic. Your kids will survive without pool time. You really need strangers on the internet to tell you this?

x100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I wouldn't do it because if I had a pool, I would feel extremely uncomfortable saying no, but I would have to.

Why would you have to? If this was my pool, I would let my neighbor use the pool given the circumstances.

OP: I would ask. I'd send an email, so she could think about it w/o it being awkward. I would make it incredibly clear she could say no. I would offer to chip in for pool maintenance upfront. I would say we would use it at any time that suited her. I would bring my own chairs over/not touch any of her stuff. I would make it clear that I was only asking because of COVID, etc and 100% understood that this would not continue to any other summer, etc.

+1

You could offer your neighbor the moon and sky. Just no. You do not get it. The word is no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this was a totally reasonable question. People on here can be so unnecessarily mean.

What other things do you think qualify as “reasonable “ questions?

- Your house is bigger than mine. Can my in-laws stay with you for two week in July?
- I only have one car. Can my godson borrow yours to drive to California?
- Can I store my quarantine supplies in your chest freezer?
-Will you co-sign a loan for my nephew? I hear your credit rating is good.
- We’ll just use your WiFi. Can you tell me the password?
-Can you add my name to your Prime membership so I can get free shipping?

If any of these things would bother you, can you tell me why they do? Keep in mind that if the OP already had a positive, mutually supportive relationship with the neighbor, they probably wouldn’t be crowd sourcing this question with a bunch of strangers on the internet.

+1

You nailed it with your list, and also this phrase. People like OP are takers. That is what they do, they take.

Back off, OP. Let your neighbor enjoy their own yard. Don't be a parasite.

[Anonymous]

We once looked a ta house with a pool. It was beautiful BUT the neighbors were there and said they use the pool all the time. Guess why the people were moving? We passed.

Y'all are proud to be rude, OP. Grow up.