SAHMs, how did you decide when or if to go back to work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went back to full time work this year, kids are 11 and 9. I didn’t need to financially, just thought it would Be nice to have something for myself, have something to do other than volunteer, exercise and watch tv. I worked part time previously and thought it made sense to go back to full time work

Here’s what happened. Work sucks. My co workers are lame, there is no flexibility. I am punishing myself with this stupid job for no reason. Almost a year in and I’m counting the days until I can quit. Literally.

Maybe there is some magic job out there where it’s more value add than value take, but this one isn’t it.

This is what the worry about. Work has always sucked ime

+1, that's how I remember it which is why I'm in no hurry to go back.

I think this is just so depressing - the idea that as an adult who has been given the opportunity of an education you would have never had a gratifying or rewarding job and you think working has always sucked. (Before anyone jumps all over this, yes I understand there are people in the world with very little education and opportunity who have crappy jobs their whole lives just to survive. But that is not the demo of this response if you can afford not to work in the first place.)

I was a teacher in a past life. It pretty much sucked from day one.

I've never worked in an office. What do you like about it? Not being snarky, being serious. Looking at spreadsheets, etc. sounds pretty boring to me.

I worked in a deadline oriented office environment and for me it was the adrenaline rush that came from being under the gun, having things go wrong and troubleshooting them in time to meet a deadline. One mistake, one typo could wind up costing you a huge account.

Now? Eh, I'm too old for that sheet. But it was fun when I was doing it .

What did you do exactly? Was it interesting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went back to full time work this year, kids are 11 and 9. I didn’t need to financially, just thought it would Be nice to have something for myself, have something to do other than volunteer, exercise and watch tv. I worked part time previously and thought it made sense to go back to full time work

Here’s what happened. Work sucks. My co workers are lame, there is no flexibility. I am punishing myself with this stupid job for no reason. Almost a year in and I’m counting the days until I can quit. Literally.

Maybe there is some magic job out there where it’s more value add than value take, but this one isn’t it.

This is what the worry about. Work has always sucked ime

+1, that's how I remember it which is why I'm in no hurry to go back.

The thing is if you stay in the workforce you EARN flexibility, you build up vacation time, you work your way up and have work to do that you enjoy (whatever that means to you...the substance of the work, more or less responsibility, etc.), you build relationships and gravitate to co-workers you enjoy, you contribute something of value and are seen as someone who brings value which circles back to earning flexibility.

But no, you're not going to come back to the workforce after 5-10+ years out and step into a great situation. Which is why I'd think twice about quitting in the first place.

I think it's short sighted

Ding ding ding

This is exactly it. SAHMs never understand this because they either a) left the workforce when they were too junior to have flexibility/seniority/etc or b) listen to their workaholic husbands who never step away from their desks.

What do you do that's intrinsically interesting and enjoyable then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kinds of careers are actually "fun"?

Writers seem to enjoy their work. What else?

I work with scientists. Most of them really love their work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kinds of careers are actually "fun"?

Writers seem to enjoy their work. What else?

I work with scientists. Most of them really love their work.

Ok well most SAHMs are too old to go back to school to get a phd in science.

What else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have arrived at a position in your life due to someone else's earningwhere you can choose what you WANT to do then by all means do what you WANT to do.

If you want to volunteer, volunteer. If you would prefer to flip burgers, flip burgers. If you want to binge watch Netflix, binge watch Netflix. while her husband continues to support her financially? are you high? sounds like a recipe for a wonderful marriage of equals If it was easy to get to where you are in life, everyone would do it. Be free, Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went back to full time work this year, kids are 11 and 9. I didn’t need to financially, just thought it would Be nice to have something for myself, have something to do other than volunteer, exercise and watch tv. I worked part time previously and thought it made sense to go back to full time work

Here’s what happened. Work sucks. My co workers are lame, there is no flexibility. I am punishing myself with this stupid job for no reason. Almost a year in and I’m counting the days until I can quit. Literally.

Maybe there is some magic job out there where it’s more value add than value take, but this one isn’t it.

This is what the worry about. Work has always sucked ime

+1, that's how I remember it which is why I'm in no hurry to go back.

The thing is if you stay in the workforce you EARN flexibility, you build up vacation time, you work your way up and have work to do that you enjoy (whatever that means to you...the substance of the work, more or less responsibility, etc.), you build relationships and gravitate to co-workers you enjoy, you contribute something of value and are seen as someone who brings value which circles back to earning flexibility.

But no, you're not going to come back to the workforce after 5-10+ years out and step into a great situation. Which is why I'd think twice about quitting in the first place.

I think it's short sighted

Ding ding ding

This is exactly it. SAHMs never understand this because they either a) left the workforce when they were too junior to have flexibility/seniority/etc or b) listen to their workaholic husbands who never step away from their desks.

What do you do that's intrinsically interesting and enjoyable then?

nonprofit executive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not go back to work full time but I would find something to do that was was meaningful but gave me the flexibility I needed. At one point my mother was in the same boat as you and after a couple of years on the board of a nonprofit she became the executive director. She loved the work and the flexibility it gave her and since it was very focused on youth drug prevention most of her schedule was tied to the school calendar. The job paid very little but she didn’t care because she got a lot out of it. She had an Ivy MBA and a successful career before deciding we were getting to be a real hand full and she wanted to be closer to home. I’m confident that the good work she did for the non profit was the most fulfilling of her career.

To the OP: this is a great response. You have a great luxury to make a choice here to do something that you enjoy, and it would be so fantastic if you married that with doing something that benefits others. If you have a background in finance, you could be a great asset to a non-profit. You can start small now, when you still need flexibility, and build toward something more when you are an empty-nester.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went back to full time work this year, kids are 11 and 9. I didn’t need to financially, just thought it would Be nice to have something for myself, have something to do other than volunteer, exercise and watch tv. I worked part time previously and thought it made sense to go back to full time work

Here’s what happened. Work sucks. My co workers are lame, there is no flexibility. I am punishing myself with this stupid job for no reason. Almost a year in and I’m counting the days until I can quit. Literally.

Maybe there is some magic job out there where it’s more value add than value take, but this one isn’t it.

This is what the worry about. Work has always sucked ime

+1, that's how I remember it which is why I'm in no hurry to go back.

I think this is just so depressing - the idea that as an adult who has been given the opportunity of an education you would have never had a gratifying or rewarding job and you think working has always sucked. (Before anyone jumps all over this, yes I understand there are people in the world with very little education and opportunity who have crappy jobs their whole lives just to survive. But that is not the demo of this response if you can afford not to work in the first place.)

I was a teacher in a past life. It pretty much sucked from day one.

I've never worked in an office. What do you like about it? Not being snarky, being serious. Looking at spreadsheets, etc. sounds pretty boring to me.

I worked in a deadline oriented office environment and for me it was the adrenaline rush that came from being under the gun, having things go wrong and troubleshooting them in time to meet a deadline. One mistake, one typo could wind up costing you a huge account.

Now? Eh, I'm too old for that sheet. But it was fun when I was doing it .

What did you do exactly? Was it interesting?

Data management

[Anonymous]

I think what the working moms are not getting is that the rich SAHMs don't want to go back to work if it's going to be boring or annoying. So no retail work. No entitled clients. No tedious paper work. What's the point of that?

What kinds of jobs are actually fun?

So far we have writing, design, and science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went back to full time work this year, kids are 11 and 9. I didn’t need to financially, just thought it would Be nice to have something for myself, have something to do other than volunteer, exercise and watch tv. I worked part time previously and thought it made sense to go back to full time work

Here’s what happened. Work sucks. My co workers are lame, there is no flexibility. I am punishing myself with this stupid job for no reason. Almost a year in and I’m counting the days until I can quit. Literally.

Maybe there is some magic job out there where it’s more value add than value take, but this one isn’t it.

This is what the worry about. Work has always sucked ime

+1, that's how I remember it which is why I'm in no hurry to go back.

The thing is if you stay in the workforce you EARN flexibility, you build up vacation time, you work your way up and have work to do that you enjoy (whatever that means to you...the substance of the work, more or less responsibility, etc.), you build relationships and gravitate to co-workers you enjoy, you contribute something of value and are seen as someone who brings value which circles back to earning flexibility.

But no, you're not going to come back to the workforce after 5-10+ years out and step into a great situation. Which is why I'd think twice about quitting in the first place.

I think it's short sighted

Ding ding ding

This is exactly it. SAHMs never understand this because they either a) left the workforce when they were too junior to have flexibility/seniority/etc or b) listen to their workaholic husbands who never step away from their desks.

What do you do that's intrinsically interesting and enjoyable then?

nonprofit executive

What do you actually do though on a day to day basis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what the working moms are not getting is that the rich SAHMs don't want to go back to work if it's going to be boring or annoying. So no retail work. No entitled clients. No tedious paper work. What's the point of that?

What kinds of jobs are actually fun?

So far we have writing, design, and science.

This will depend on your interests and background. You think the answer is the same for everyone? JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kinds of careers are actually "fun"?

Writers seem to enjoy their work. What else?

I work with scientists. Most of them really love their work.

Ok well most SAHMs are too old to go back to school to get a phd in science.

What else?

Scientists need support of good administrators. Places like NIH often offer a lot of flexibility in work schedules.

Although I'm guessing OP won't go back FT.

[Anonymous]

A lot of former SAHMs seem to go into social work or nursing. Or teaching.

All three of those sound horrible to me though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what the working moms are not getting is that the rich SAHMs don't want to go back to work if it's going to be boring or annoying. So no retail work. No entitled clients. No tedious paper work. What's the point of that?

What kinds of jobs are actually fun?

So far we have writing, design, and science.

This will depend on your interests and background. You think the answer is the same for everyone? JFC.

Just looking for concrete examples. No need to be rude.

If you won the lottery and wouldn't quit your job, what do you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went back to full time work this year, kids are 11 and 9. I didn’t need to financially, just thought it would Be nice to have something for myself, have something to do other than volunteer, exercise and watch tv. I worked part time previously and thought it made sense to go back to full time work

Here’s what happened. Work sucks. My co workers are lame, there is no flexibility. I am punishing myself with this stupid job for no reason. Almost a year in and I’m counting the days until I can quit. Literally.

Maybe there is some magic job out there where it’s more value add than value take, but this one isn’t it.

This is what the worry about. Work has always sucked ime

+1, that's how I remember it which is why I'm in no hurry to go back.

The thing is if you stay in the workforce you EARN flexibility, you build up vacation time, you work your way up and have work to do that you enjoy (whatever that means to you...the substance of the work, more or less responsibility, etc.), you build relationships and gravitate to co-workers you enjoy, you contribute something of value and are seen as someone who brings value which circles back to earning flexibility.

But no, you're not going to come back to the workforce after 5-10+ years out and step into a great situation. Which is why I'd think twice about quitting in the first place.

I think it's short sighted

IDK, to be honest with you, I think work is a drag. My husband is a c-suite executive so he's pretty senior. He enjoys the work relative to the pay (which is high six figures, low seven depending on bonus). But I mean, if we won the mega lottery he'd quit the next day.

Unless you work in a creative and or glamorous job, work is "work" and not that fun. It's often boring.

I can think of jobs that would be more fun than not (like maybe design work or something) but I am not naturally creative or artistic so not qualified to do them.

Oh sweet summer child, if your spouse makes seven figures, you two already *have* won the lottery.