SAHMs, how did you decide when or if to go back to work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We used to have a full time nanny plus preschool plus housekeeper who cooked for us and I couldn’t make it work. I felt burned out because despite having all this help, I never had a moment of rest."

Are you kidding? What is wrong with you???

I think you must be a troll because no sane person looking for answers would post this.

this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at the consensus that she not go back to work. What if they divorce, as DCUM loves to point out that possibility to everyone?

If they divorce, she would get more child support and alimony than her job would ever pay. He makes 7 figures and they have 3 kids. This lady doesn’t need to worry about working as a divorce contingency.

Divorce courts don't do alimony anymore.

[Anonymous]

I have a similar HHI and also have 3 kids. I work at Pottery Barn 12 hours or 16 hours per week...it switches back and forth. I like it because it gets my out of the school volunteer world which I was not a huge fan of (sorry! not sorry!) and it also allows me to be creative here and there with store displays and helping people put rooms together. My middle son has autism and I was starting to go down the special needs rabbit hole. Where his ASD was all I thought about, researched, talked about etc etc and Im really glad I broke that cycle because it wasn't healthy for me. I am also a CPA so from Feb to April I pick up some over flow work at a small firm by old college roommate runs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a similar HHI and also have 3 kids. I work at Pottery Barn 12 hours or 16 hours per week...it switches back and forth. I like it because it gets my out of the school volunteer world which I was not a huge fan of (sorry! not sorry!) and it also allows me to be creative here and there with store displays and helping people put rooms together. My middle son has autism and I was starting to go down the special needs rabbit hole. Where his ASD was all I thought about, researched, talked about etc etc and Im really glad I broke that cycle because it wasn't healthy for me. I am also a CPA so from Feb to April I pick up some over flow work at a small firm by old college roommate runs.

New POster in the same situation. I've thought of doing something like this but isn't it embarrassing when you see people you know?

Not to sound like a bitch but I don't want people thinking I have to work for Pottery Barn for the money, kwim? I just want something to do.

[Anonymous]

Volunteer for some nonprofit in your community - they always need people with a financial or accounting background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at the consensus that she not go back to work. What if they divorce, as DCUM loves to point out that possibility to everyone?

If they divorce, she would get more child support and alimony than her job would ever pay. He makes 7 figures and they have 3 kids. This lady doesn’t need to worry about working as a divorce contingency.

Divorce courts don't do alimony anymore.

Whatever. Half their assets and child support would set her up just fine. She’d get 200K in child support alone.

[Anonymous]

Do you have your own money in case DH leaves you or you want to leave him?

Overall, I would not bother with getting a job if DH made $1M+ and didn't care if I worked. However, I would want money in my name so as not to be dependent. And be aware of the finances. With your available time, be sure you know what's what in the home finances department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"We used to have a full time nanny plus preschool plus housekeeper who cooked for us and I couldn’t make it work. I felt burned out because despite having all this help, I never had a moment of rest."

Are you kidding? What is wrong with you???

I think you must be a troll because no sane person looking for answers would post this.

this

Definitely a troll, unless she's confusing boredom with burn out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at the consensus that she not go back to work. What if they divorce, as DCUM loves to point out that possibility to everyone?

If they divorce, she would get more child support and alimony than her job would ever pay. He makes 7 figures and they have 3 kids. This lady doesn’t need to worry about working as a divorce contingency.

Divorce courts don't do alimony anymore.

Whatever. Half their assets and child support would set her up just fine. She’d get 200K in child support alone.

My friend got divorced six months ago and she’s receiving $2800 a month in alimony, plus child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a similar HHI and also have 3 kids. I work at Pottery Barn 12 hours or 16 hours per week...it switches back and forth. I like it because it gets my out of the school volunteer world which I was not a huge fan of (sorry! not sorry!) and it also allows me to be creative here and there with store displays and helping people put rooms together. My middle son has autism and I was starting to go down the special needs rabbit hole. Where his ASD was all I thought about, researched, talked about etc etc and Im really glad I broke that cycle because it wasn't healthy for me. I am also a CPA so from Feb to April I pick up some over flow work at a small firm by old college roommate runs.

New POster in the same situation. I've thought of doing something like this but isn't it embarrassing when you see people you know?

Not to sound like a bitch but I don't want people thinking I have to work for Pottery Barn for the money, kwim? I just want something to do.

I think it is cool Pottery Barn post is doing what makes her happy and not caring what others think.

You are awesome, Pottery Barn poster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at the consensus that she not go back to work. What if they divorce, as DCUM loves to point out that possibility to everyone?

She'd probably get really good child support and alimony on that salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at the consensus that she not go back to work. What if they divorce, as DCUM loves to point out that possibility to everyone?

If they divorce, she would get more child support and alimony than her job would ever pay. He makes 7 figures and they have 3 kids. This lady doesn’t need to worry about working as a divorce contingency.

Divorce courts don't do alimony anymore.

They absolutely do.

[Anonymous]

You seem to be devaluing a potential job by focusing solely on salary comparisons to your spouse.

But your question isn't really about money. Are you fulfilled being a room parent and serving on the PTA or do you want to do more? If you want to accomplish more as a professional, the transition back to the workforce will be less painful. If you're just doing it because you're bored, then I think you'll regret your current flexibility.

Regardless, your spouse should step up and contribute more to your family than his salary. Set a more equitable model for your children, if nothing else. It's 2019.

[Anonymous]

What do you want to do? I am extremely independently wealthy but cannot imagine not working. I just would not feel right about it. I’m not saying everyone should feel like me. Does your husband have any relationship with the children at all? Would he pick up any of the load there?

[Anonymous]

If you need a hobby job to keep busy when the kids start school, I’d look at being a fitness instructor or a half day preschool teacher/assistant. But no, I wouldn’t go back to full time work with that income.