My husband just doesn’t get it. Barely engages with 8 week old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just wait until you have a second or third child. You will be thinking how easy you had it when you were home and it was just one newborn to care for.

Medical issues aside (which doesn't sound like her baby has any or she would have mentioned it), even high maintenance infants are not THAT hard. Sure you are lonely and sleep deprived, but I can think of a lot of jobs that are much harder. You do realize women have been caring for infants since the dawn of time as well as several other children too. It should be such a deal you can't cope with the support he is giving as well (which is not nothing) and if it is, this is something to address with your dr.

+1. Your husband is saying “wow” because you’re acting like it’s a huge deal to care for ONE baby when you have nothing else to do (like go to work).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just wait until you have a second or third child. You will be thinking how easy you had it when you were home and it was just one newborn to care for.

Medical issues aside (which doesn't sound like her baby has any or she would have mentioned it), even high maintenance infants are not THAT hard. Sure you are lonely and sleep deprived, but I can think of a lot of jobs that are much harder. You do realize women have been caring for infants since the dawn of time as well as several other children too. It should be such a deal you can't cope with the support he is giving as well (which is not nothing) and if it is, this is something to address with your dr.

Don't have any more babies until the man-child dad steps up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed mothers are responsible for a much larger chuck of care for newborn babies. I’m presuming you are off work on maternity leave, he isn’t. The baby is you job right now.

Does your baby not nap and can’t be put down? Is he colicy? You are making it sound like someone needs to be holding him 24/7. I had two babies like this, so i don’t ask this in a snarky way and it is a phase that passes.

Put the baby in a swing, wear him in an ergo, put him on a sheepskin rug..those things should free up your arms so you can get some things done.

If you are borderline nervous breakdown, talk to him and explain what help you need to not go crazy. Encourage DH to wear the baby in a carrier and go for walks with him.

Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed that fathers and mothers are responsible for equal amounts of the care of newborn babies. I'm presuming he has paternity leave as well. When is he taking his leave? The baby is both of your jobs equally right now, because both of you made it.

There, FTFY, PP. BTW, PP, you are a self-righteous sexist prig. Women are not primarily responsible for newborns. You demonstrate exactly the kind of sexist world view that puts women behind in life.

A woman who is staying home and taking care of the baby all day is doing a job. Her job ends when her husband's job ends and it is entirely reasonable to expect that DH participate equally in the care of baby when he gets home. I am assuming, like many SAHM's she is also doing some other household chores like laundry, grocery shopping and meal prep, while she is home with baby. These also are equally DH's responsibility.

I am tired of men who steal the labor of women and without recompense and expect that their time is fully their own, even when they have brought other people into the world.

Preach! Why on earth would the baby be only the mother’s responsibility? What is wrong with you PP? I hope you don’t have children because this isn’t the goddamn 1950s

No one is saying this. Did you not see how her husband is taking over while she cooks and during the mornings? What is it that OP wants?!? She wants her husband to enthusiastically take the baby the minute he gets home and give her the entire night off? Most people don’t want to work all day and then solely care for a child.

Unfortunately the main role of the mother is to feed the baby if she is breastfeeding. The husband can’t do this.

I strongly disagree that the SAHM job ends at 6-7 PM when the spouse gets home. As a SAHM your job is to make his or her ability to work as easy as possible. You have a sole breadwinner and should not be dumping chores and kids on your spouse when they get home. If you don’t want to care for a child all day then go back to work and you’ll enjoy the same arrangement as your spouse. Then you can share evening responsibilities since you both work and supper each other’s careers.

NP. So OP's day never ends? Lol. Her husband gets to come from work at 6/7 and relax but OP keeps on working. When both parents are at home, parenting duties should be split evenly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed mothers are responsible for a much larger chuck of care for newborn babies. I’m presuming you are off work on maternity leave, he isn’t. The baby is you job right now.

Does your baby not nap and can’t be put down? Is he colicy? You are making it sound like someone needs to be holding him 24/7. I had two babies like this, so i don’t ask this in a snarky way and it is a phase that passes.

Put the baby in a swing, wear him in an ergo, put him on a sheepskin rug..those things should free up your arms so you can get some things done.

If you are borderline nervous breakdown, talk to him and explain what help you need to not go crazy. Encourage DH to wear the baby in a carrier and go for walks with him.

Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed that fathers and mothers are responsible for equal amounts of the care of newborn babies. I'm presuming he has paternity leave as well. When is he taking his leave? The baby is both of your jobs equally right now, because both of you made it.

There, FTFY, PP. BTW, PP, you are a self-righteous sexist prig. Women are not primarily responsible for newborns. You demonstrate exactly the kind of sexist world view that puts women behind in life.

A woman who is staying home and taking care of the baby all day is doing a job. Her job ends when her husband's job ends and it is entirely reasonable to expect that DH participate equally in the care of baby when he gets home. I am assuming, like many SAHM's she is also doing some other household chores like laundry, grocery shopping and meal prep, while she is home with baby. These also are equally DH's responsibility.

I am tired of men who steal the labor of women and without recompense and expect that their time is fully their own, even when they have brought other people into the world.

Preach! Why on earth would the baby be only the mother’s responsibility? What is wrong with you PP? I hope you don’t have children because this isn’t the goddamn 1950s

No one is saying this. Did you not see how her husband is taking over while she cooks and during the mornings? What is it that OP wants?!? She wants her husband to enthusiastically take the baby the minute he gets home and give her the entire night off? Most people don’t want to work all day and then solely care for a child.

Unfortunately the main role of the mother is to feed the baby if she is breastfeeding. The husband can’t do this.

I strongly disagree that the SAHM job ends at 6-7 PM when the spouse gets home. As a SAHM your job is to make his or her ability to work as easy as possible. You have a sole breadwinner and should not be dumping chores and kids on your spouse when they get home. If you don’t want to care for a child all day then go back to work and you’ll enjoy the same arrangement as your spouse. Then you can share evening responsibilities since you both work and supper each other’s careers.

NP. So OP's day never ends? Lol. Her husband gets to come from work at 6/7 and relax but OP keeps on working. When both parents are at home, parenting duties should be split evenly.

Nope. OP has breaks during the day when her baby naps. A newborn should be napping for a considerable amount of time. Her husband can’t take naps or TV breaks during the day or use the time to run errands / do chores. Should OP’s husband take care of some housework and help out at night? Yes. But should be viewed as a 50-50 parent? No. OP’s job is to take care of the baby and this is why she isn’t going to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just wait until you have a second or third child. You will be thinking how easy you had it when you were home and it was just one newborn to care for.

Medical issues aside (which doesn't sound like her baby has any or she would have mentioned it), even high maintenance infants are not THAT hard. Sure you are lonely and sleep deprived, but I can think of a lot of jobs that are much harder. You do realize women have been caring for infants since the dawn of time as well as several other children too. It should be such a deal you can't cope with the support he is giving as well (which is not nothing) and if it is, this is something to address with your dr.

Don't have any more babies until the man-child dad steps up.

Or don’t have any more kids because you don’t like taking care of a baby. It’s okay to dislike taking care of a baby 24-7. Things you can do to help the situation Include hiring help, going back to work and bottle feeding.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you guys are making me appreciate my husband even more. From the very first day, he jumped in changing, bathing, cuddling and soothing our babies, everything except the feeding, since I was breastfeeding. I know he was eager to bond with the our children, perhaps because he was raised by a single mom. Nevertheless, my own father also spent a lot of time with my siblings and I as babies and throughout our years at home, and always made us feel that he was thrilled to be with us as soon as he got home from work.

[Anonymous]

Why are women who have children with losers insisting that everyone be martyrs like them? My DH, brother and male relatives all pitched in willingly to help with their babies, even in the cases where the men were working and wives were SAHM. This is not abnormal behavior for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Don't have any more babies until the man-child dad steps up.

there it is! the requisite "MEN ARE CHILDREN" harpy. I was beginning to wonder if/when you would grace our presence!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed mothers are responsible for a much larger chuck of care for newborn babies. I’m presuming you are off work on maternity leave, he isn’t. The baby is you job right now.

Does your baby not nap and can’t be put down? Is he colicy? You are making it sound like someone needs to be holding him 24/7. I had two babies like this, so i don’t ask this in a snarky way and it is a phase that passes.

Put the baby in a swing, wear him in an ergo, put him on a sheepskin rug..those things should free up your arms so you can get some things done.

If you are borderline nervous breakdown, talk to him and explain what help you need to not go crazy. Encourage DH to wear the baby in a carrier and go for walks with him.

Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed that fathers and mothers are responsible for equal amounts of the care of newborn babies. I'm presuming he has paternity leave as well. When is he taking his leave? The baby is both of your jobs equally right now, because both of you made it.

There, FTFY, PP. BTW, PP, you are a self-righteous sexist prig. Women are not primarily responsible for newborns. You demonstrate exactly the kind of sexist world view that puts women behind in life.

A woman who is staying home and taking care of the baby all day is doing a job. Her job ends when her husband's job ends and it is entirely reasonable to expect that DH participate equally in the care of baby when he gets home. I am assuming, like many SAHM's she is also doing some other household chores like laundry, grocery shopping and meal prep, while she is home with baby. These also are equally DH's responsibility.

I am tired of men who steal the labor of women and without recompense and expect that their time is fully their own, even when they have brought other people into the world.

Preach! Why on earth would the baby be only the mother’s responsibility? What is wrong with you PP? I hope you don’t have children because this isn’t the goddamn 1950s

No one is saying this. Did you not see how her husband is taking over while she cooks and during the mornings? What is it that OP wants?!? She wants her husband to enthusiastically take the baby the minute he gets home and give her the entire night off? Most people don’t want to work all day and then solely care for a child.

Unfortunately the main role of the mother is to feed the baby if she is breastfeeding. The husband can’t do this.

I strongly disagree that the SAHM job ends at 6-7 PM when the spouse gets home. As a SAHM your job is to make his or her ability to work as easy as possible. You have a sole breadwinner and should not be dumping chores and kids on your spouse when they get home. If you don’t want to care for a child all day then go back to work and you’ll enjoy the same arrangement as your spouse. Then you can share evening responsibilities since you both work and supper each other’s careers.

NP. So OP's day never ends? Lol. Her husband gets to come from work at 6/7 and relax but OP keeps on working. When both parents are at home, parenting duties should be split evenly.

Nope. OP has breaks during the day when her baby naps. A newborn should be napping for a considerable amount of time. Her husband can’t take naps or TV breaks during the day or use the time to run errands / do chores. Should OP’s husband take care of some housework and help out at night? Yes. But should be viewed as a 50-50 parent? No. OP’s job is to take care of the baby and this is why she isn’t going to work.

You're assuming a lot here. Many newborns are sleepy but not all. Both my kids as newborns napped/slept in 20 minute increments for months. There were no naps or TV breaks for me, just relentless chores. If my husband hadn't stepped up, I would have had a very hard time. Thankfully, he is an extremely hands on dad who was eager to hold and care for his babies. OP's husband taking the baby for 10 minutes makes him a crappy partner. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed mothers are responsible for a much larger chuck of care for newborn babies. I’m presuming you are off work on maternity leave, he isn’t. The baby is you job right now.

Does your baby not nap and can’t be put down? Is he colicy? You are making it sound like someone needs to be holding him 24/7. I had two babies like this, so i don’t ask this in a snarky way and it is a phase that passes.

Put the baby in a swing, wear him in an ergo, put him on a sheepskin rug..those things should free up your arms so you can get some things done.

If you are borderline nervous breakdown, talk to him and explain what help you need to not go crazy. Encourage DH to wear the baby in a carrier and go for walks with him.

Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed that fathers and mothers are responsible for equal amounts of the care of newborn babies. I'm presuming he has paternity leave as well. When is he taking his leave? The baby is both of your jobs equally right now, because both of you made it.

There, FTFY, PP. BTW, PP, you are a self-righteous sexist prig. Women are not primarily responsible for newborns. You demonstrate exactly the kind of sexist world view that puts women behind in life.

A woman who is staying home and taking care of the baby all day is doing a job. Her job ends when her husband's job ends and it is entirely reasonable to expect that DH participate equally in the care of baby when he gets home. I am assuming, like many SAHM's she is also doing some other household chores like laundry, grocery shopping and meal prep, while she is home with baby. These also are equally DH's responsibility.

I am tired of men who steal the labor of women and without recompense and expect that their time is fully their own, even when they have brought other people into the world.

Preach! Why on earth would the baby be only the mother’s responsibility? What is wrong with you PP? I hope you don’t have children because this isn’t the goddamn 1950s

No one is saying this. Did you not see how her husband is taking over while she cooks and during the mornings? What is it that OP wants?!? She wants her husband to enthusiastically take the baby the minute he gets home and give her the entire night off? Most people don’t want to work all day and then solely care for a child.

Unfortunately the main role of the mother is to feed the baby if she is breastfeeding. The husband can’t do this.

I strongly disagree that the SAHM job ends at 6-7 PM when the spouse gets home. As a SAHM your job is to make his or her ability to work as easy as possible. You have a sole breadwinner and should not be dumping chores and kids on your spouse when they get home. If you don’t want to care for a child all day then go back to work and you’ll enjoy the same arrangement as your spouse. Then you can share evening responsibilities since you both work and supper each other’s careers.

NP. So OP's day never ends? Lol. Her husband gets to come from work at 6/7 and relax but OP keeps on working. When both parents are at home, parenting duties should be split evenly.

Nope. OP has breaks during the day when her baby naps. A newborn should be napping for a considerable amount of time. Her husband can’t take naps or TV breaks during the day or use the time to run errands / do chores. Should OP’s husband take care of some housework and help out at night? Yes. But should be viewed as a 50-50 parent? No. OP’s job is to take care of the baby and this is why she isn’t going to work.

HAHAHAHA. Oh, sweetie. No.

Both parents are working during the day. Both parents get brief breaks during the day. Each parent is 50-50 when they're both home.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to motherhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don't have any more babies until the man-child dad steps up.

there it is! the requisite "MEN ARE CHILDREN" harpy. I was beginning to wonder if/when you would grace our presence!

I don't usually say that, because my husband is an active parent. OP's husband on the other hand needs to grow the F up and parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are women who have children with losers insisting that everyone be martyrs like them? My DH, brother and male relatives all pitched in willingly to help with their babies, even in the cases where the men were working and wives were SAHM. This is not abnormal behavior for men.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don't have any more babies until the man-child dad steps up.

there it is! the requisite "MEN ARE CHILDREN" harpy. I was beginning to wonder if/when you would grace our presence!

I don't usually say that, because my husband is an active parent. OP's husband on the other hand needs to grow the F up and parent.

NP - exactly. All men are not children. This man is a child.

[Anonymous]

I wish you were my DW. I work ten hour shifts five days a week. I get home at 5pm, and the burden shifts. I feed, play, and change my 5 month old until she falls asleep, which is usually by 10pm. Weekends are also my responsobility. I wake up two three times during the night to feed. I don't complain because my wife does all of the baby caring when I'm working.

I say withhold sex until he learns his role.