My husband just doesn’t get it. Barely engages with 8 week old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t like to be told what the baby needs and feels I should ask for his help.

For example, after I feed the baby he wants me to ask him first before passing him to him. He doesn’t like that I say “he needs to be burped then changed” and would rather I ask him to do it. As if it’s domehow optional for him to engage in our child’s care rather than taking the initiative to share the load. Which he doesn’t.

To put in in perspective my husband doesn’t get up in the night to change diapers. When he gets home from work he spends 45 minutes in the bathroom pooping and showering. Then he has to eat half a sleeve of saltines and cheese before he’s “ready” to hold the baby. He sits on the couch with his phone in one hand and the remote in another, barely engaging with the baby while the TV is on. Then I start dinner of finish any chores that need to be done. If I’m lucky, my husband will take his plate to the kitchen and start cleaning up or offer to bathe the baby. I do all the night time care and put the baby to sleep while my husband gets a solid 6-8 hours of sleep.

The weekends are my only reprieve. My husband doesn’t like that I tell him what the baby needs. I don’t have the option to cop out of diaper changes or feedings, it’s all on me during the week. My husband feels I’m trying to “pass the baby off” to him - which is exactly what I’m trying to do! I need 30 minutes to shower or paint my nails or anything.

When I try to bring this up to him all he says is “wow” and disengages, returns to his phone, or argues that I spend too much time on my phone or that I should just be doing the diaper changes when the baby needs it because that’s what “he would do” - but he doesn’t. He doesn’t take initiative which is why I tell him. He just. doesn’t. get. it.

I feel like I’m drowning. My husband has spent maybe 6 hours straight with our son once in 8 weeks and I do 95% of the work. My husband will sometimes take the baby on weekday mornings from 6-8 so I can get some extra sleep but that’s about the extent of it.

He had a backache this weekend and in between changing and feeding the baby I had to bring him painkillers, rub his back, bring the baby to him while he laid on the couch. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic, but I’ve had to solo parent with migraines and the flu without any reprieve from him.

How can I get him to engage more? I can’t keep this dynamic up.

The more I read this the more I think you’re lazy. He can’t shower at work, right? You have multiple opportunities a day to shower. A newborn baby should be taking multiple naps. Something is wrong if you’re only able to find 30 minutes to shower when he is home on the weekend. Maybe you have a colicky baby, but you didn’t mention that so I assume not.

Your husband is saying WOW because he’s shocked to find out about your expectation. You decided to have a baby and you’re home on leave. To take care of a baby. Trying to make him miserable won’t make you any less miserable. Why are is it a problem that he needs an hour to chill before he takes over the baby? Didn’t you say he also is taking him in the mornings? You seem to not understand what life is like with a newborn. This is it. Your husband is at work and when you go back to work you will be relieved of your job taking care of the baby from day, 7-5 PM or whatever your work hours are.

Troll? Person who has never spent a day with an 8 week old? Or just an example of someone to never ever have a baby with?

Or someone who hasn’t been at the office all day and had a spouse immediately pushing a baby on them when they enter the door?? Not sure why OP is upset that she has to take care of a baby while on maternity leave.

You are either clueless or a martyr. Or more likely someone who has never taken care of a newborn, if you have to ask this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t like to be told what the baby needs and feels I should ask for his help.

For example, after I feed the baby he wants me to ask him first before passing him to him. He doesn’t like that I say “he needs to be burped then changed” and would rather I ask him to do it. As if it’s domehow optional for him to engage in our child’s care rather than taking the initiative to share the load. Which he doesn’t.

To put in in perspective my husband doesn’t get up in the night to change diapers. When he gets home from work he spends 45 minutes in the bathroom pooping and showering. Then he has to eat half a sleeve of saltines and cheese before he’s “ready” to hold the baby. He sits on the couch with his phone in one hand and the remote in another, barely engaging with the baby while the TV is on. Then I start dinner of finish any chores that need to be done. If I’m lucky, my husband will take his plate to the kitchen and start cleaning up or offer to bathe the baby. I do all the night time care and put the baby to sleep while my husband gets a solid 6-8 hours of sleep.

The weekends are my only reprieve. My husband doesn’t like that I tell him what the baby needs. I don’t have the option to cop out of diaper changes or feedings, it’s all on me during the week. My husband feels I’m trying to “pass the baby off” to him - which is exactly what I’m trying to do! I need 30 minutes to shower or paint my nails or anything.

When I try to bring this up to him all he says is “wow” and disengages, returns to his phone, or argues that I spend too much time on my phone or that I should just be doing the diaper changes when the baby needs it because that’s what “he would do” - but he doesn’t. He doesn’t take initiative which is why I tell him. He just. doesn’t. get. it.

I feel like I’m drowning. My husband has spent maybe 6 hours straight with our son once in 8 weeks and I do 95% of the work. My husband will sometimes take the baby on weekday mornings from 6-8 so I can get some extra sleep but that’s about the extent of it.

He had a backache this weekend and in between changing and feeding the baby I had to bring him painkillers, rub his back, bring the baby to him while he laid on the couch. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic, but I’ve had to solo parent with migraines and the flu without any reprieve from him.

How can I get him to engage more? I can’t keep this dynamic up.

The more I read this the more I think you’re lazy. He can’t shower at work, right? You have multiple opportunities a day to shower. A newborn baby should be taking multiple naps. Something is wrong if you’re only able to find 30 minutes to shower when he is home on the weekend. Maybe you have a colicky baby, but you didn’t mention that so I assume not.

Your husband is saying WOW because he’s shocked to find out about your expectation. You decided to have a baby and you’re home on leave. To take care of a baby. Trying to make him miserable won’t make you any less miserable. Why are is it a problem that he needs an hour to chill before he takes over the baby? Didn’t you say he also is taking him in the mornings? You seem to not understand what life is like with a newborn. This is it. Your husband is at work and when you go back to work you will be relieved of your job taking care of the baby from day, 7-5 PM or whatever your work hours are.

Troll? Person who has never spent a day with an 8 week old? Or just an example of someone to never ever have a baby with?

Or someone who hasn’t been at the office all day and had a spouse immediately pushing a baby on them when they enter the door?? Not sure why OP is upset that she has to take care of a baby while on maternity leave.

Thanks for confirming that you've never cared for an 8 week old. Here's the thing: the office IS the break from the baby. When they're both home, it's all hands on deck.

If you feel it's unfair that he works all day and then has to care for his baby, I don't know what to tell you. Except that working while pregnant isn't such a piece of cake either. Not to mention giving birth.

[Anonymous]

Does the baby take a bottle yet? Honestly my DH wasn't this bad but the only way to really ensure he was "on duty" with out first was to leave the apartment and not come back for a few hours. Turn off your phone. He'll figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him, not tell him to do things. Not "the baby's diaper needs changing" but "can you change the baby's diaper please?" That's just common courtesy. Think about how you'd talk to a coworker, and afford your DH at least that level of courtesy.

Men have difficulty bonding with babies when they're really young (I know I did) as they don't "do" much and they need to be around mom for eating anyway. I didn't do night diaper changes either -- we agreed if DW is up anyway to feed baby, no need for me to wake up also. What we did do is that I did baby bath time, alone, almost every night.

Most men I know get a lot more involved with their kids once they can do things back (like at 9-12 months). 8 weeks is still really young.

Then next week, flip flop roles. Do not do anything in the house or for the baby until he politely asks you each and every time.

Haha

[Anonymous]

Wow I could've written this four years ago. Husband would literally take hourlong baths after work, and this is after I went back to work too. Communication is key. Even if he shuts you down, try again calmly at a different time. Try 50 different ways to communicate. Eventually he'll get it.

[Anonymous]

1. talk to your doctor about colic, and everything else that is going on.

2. google the new moms support groups through INOVA. There should be one in your area.

3. Call your friends, and ask them to visit, especially the ones who have had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t like to be told what the baby needs and feels I should ask for his help.

For example, after I feed the baby he wants me to ask him first before passing him to him. He doesn’t like that I say “he needs to be burped then changed” and would rather I ask him to do it. As if it’s domehow optional for him to engage in our child’s care rather than taking the initiative to share the load. Which he doesn’t.

To put in in perspective my husband doesn’t get up in the night to change diapers. When he gets home from work he spends 45 minutes in the bathroom pooping and showering. Then he has to eat half a sleeve of saltines and cheese before he’s “ready” to hold the baby. He sits on the couch with his phone in one hand and the remote in another, barely engaging with the baby while the TV is on. Then I start dinner of finish any chores that need to be done. If I’m lucky, my husband will take his plate to the kitchen and start cleaning up or offer to bathe the baby. I do all the night time care and put the baby to sleep while my husband gets a solid 6-8 hours of sleep.

The weekends are my only reprieve. My husband doesn’t like that I tell him what the baby needs. I don’t have the option to cop out of diaper changes or feedings, it’s all on me during the week. My husband feels I’m trying to “pass the baby off” to him - which is exactly what I’m trying to do! I need 30 minutes to shower or paint my nails or anything.

When I try to bring this up to him all he says is “wow” and disengages, returns to his phone, or argues that I spend too much time on my phone or that I should just be doing the diaper changes when the baby needs it because that’s what “he would do” - but he doesn’t. He doesn’t take initiative which is why I tell him. He just. doesn’t. get. it.

I feel like I’m drowning. My husband has spent maybe 6 hours straight with our son once in 8 weeks and I do 95% of the work. My husband will sometimes take the baby on weekday mornings from 6-8 so I can get some extra sleep but that’s about the extent of it.

He had a backache this weekend and in between changing and feeding the baby I had to bring him painkillers, rub his back, bring the baby to him while he laid on the couch. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic, but I’ve had to solo parent with migraines and the flu without any reprieve from him.

How can I get him to engage more? I can’t keep this dynamic up.

The more I read this the more I think you’re lazy. He can’t shower at work, right? You have multiple opportunities a day to shower. A newborn baby should be taking multiple naps. Something is wrong if you’re only able to find 30 minutes to shower when he is home on the weekend. Maybe you have a colicky baby, but you didn’t mention that so I assume not.

Your husband is saying WOW because he’s shocked to find out about your expectation. You decided to have a baby and you’re home on leave. To take care of a baby. Trying to make him miserable won’t make you any less miserable. Why are is it a problem that he needs an hour to chill before he takes over the baby? Didn’t you say he also is taking him in the mornings? You seem to not understand what life is like with a newborn. This is it. Your husband is at work and when you go back to work you will be relieved of your job taking care of the baby from day, 7-5 PM or whatever your work hours are.

Troll? Person who has never spent a day with an 8 week old? Or just an example of someone to never ever have a baby with?

Or someone who hasn’t been at the office all day and had a spouse immediately pushing a baby on them when they enter the door?? Not sure why OP is upset that she has to take care of a baby while on maternity leave.

Thanks for confirming that you've never cared for an 8 week old. Here's the thing: the office IS the break from the baby. When they're both home, it's all hands on deck.

If you feel it's unfair that he works all day and then has to care for his baby, I don't know what to tell you. Except that working while pregnant isn't such a piece of cake either. Not to mention giving birth.

I have had children and given birth. I simply don’t think staying home with a newborn is that hard. Obviously it is for OP. I’m not saying her spouse shouldn’t care for the baby at night. Instead I understand why he needs a break before being on baby duty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t like to be told what the baby needs and feels I should ask for his help.

For example, after I feed the baby he wants me to ask him first before passing him to him. He doesn’t like that I say “he needs to be burped then changed” and would rather I ask him to do it. As if it’s domehow optional for him to engage in our child’s care rather than taking the initiative to share the load. Which he doesn’t.

To put in in perspective my husband doesn’t get up in the night to change diapers. When he gets home from work he spends 45 minutes in the bathroom pooping and showering. Then he has to eat half a sleeve of saltines and cheese before he’s “ready” to hold the baby. He sits on the couch with his phone in one hand and the remote in another, barely engaging with the baby while the TV is on. Then I start dinner of finish any chores that need to be done. If I’m lucky, my husband will take his plate to the kitchen and start cleaning up or offer to bathe the baby. I do all the night time care and put the baby to sleep while my husband gets a solid 6-8 hours of sleep.

The weekends are my only reprieve. My husband doesn’t like that I tell him what the baby needs. I don’t have the option to cop out of diaper changes or feedings, it’s all on me during the week. My husband feels I’m trying to “pass the baby off” to him - which is exactly what I’m trying to do! I need 30 minutes to shower or paint my nails or anything.

When I try to bring this up to him all he says is “wow” and disengages, returns to his phone, or argues that I spend too much time on my phone or that I should just be doing the diaper changes when the baby needs it because that’s what “he would do” - but he doesn’t. He doesn’t take initiative which is why I tell him. He just. doesn’t. get. it.

I feel like I’m drowning. My husband has spent maybe 6 hours straight with our son once in 8 weeks and I do 95% of the work. My husband will sometimes take the baby on weekday mornings from 6-8 so I can get some extra sleep but that’s about the extent of it.

He had a backache this weekend and in between changing and feeding the baby I had to bring him painkillers, rub his back, bring the baby to him while he laid on the couch. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic, but I’ve had to solo parent with migraines and the flu without any reprieve from him.

How can I get him to engage more? I can’t keep this dynamic up.

The more I read this the more I think you’re lazy. He can’t shower at work, right? You have multiple opportunities a day to shower. A newborn baby should be taking multiple naps. Something is wrong if you’re only able to find 30 minutes to shower when he is home on the weekend. Maybe you have a colicky baby, but you didn’t mention that so I assume not.

Your husband is saying WOW because he’s shocked to find out about your expectation. You decided to have a baby and you’re home on leave. To take care of a baby. Trying to make him miserable won’t make you any less miserable. Why are is it a problem that he needs an hour to chill before he takes over the baby? Didn’t you say he also is taking him in the mornings? You seem to not understand what life is like with a newborn. This is it. Your husband is at work and when you go back to work you will be relieved of your job taking care of the baby from day, 7-5 PM or whatever your work hours are.

Troll? Person who has never spent a day with an 8 week old? Or just an example of someone to never ever have a baby with?

Or someone who hasn’t been at the office all day and had a spouse immediately pushing a baby on them when they enter the door?? Not sure why OP is upset that she has to take care of a baby while on maternity leave.

Thanks for confirming that you've never cared for an 8 week old. Here's the thing: the office IS the break from the baby. When they're both home, it's all hands on deck.

If you feel it's unfair that he works all day and then has to care for his baby, I don't know what to tell you. Except that working while pregnant isn't such a piece of cake either. Not to mention giving birth.

I have had children and given birth. I simply don’t think staying home with a newborn is that hard. Obviously it is for OP. I’m not saying her spouse shouldn’t care for the baby at night. Instead I understand why he needs a break before being on baby duty.

Every baby is different as is every mothers birth recovery. Mine at 8 weeks was at peak fussiness and wanted to be held all the time including for a lot of sleep. We worked out the sleep thing eventually and it got better but it was hard for me and not as much napping during the day at that period for me. Dh was amazing, came home, changed and took the baby from me for a couple hours and then I started the evening cluster nursing and dh made dinner, cleaned up, did laundry and anything else in the house. He also got up at 4:30 every day and took the baby right after the morning feed for a bit before work so I could sleep. And he took a month off after I went to work and figured out that it's not that easy to even get out of the house with an infant. For my part I kept my mouth shut as to how he parented, including showing/reminding him how to change diapers only if he asked and let him deal with blowouts himself if he did it wrong.
Yes he went to work every day but it was clear that he is a co parent and needs to spend as much time with the baby as he can to bond and learn her cues and do everything for her except breastfeed. It was all hands on deck for both of us for the first 6 months and we discussed this prior to having kids of how it will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t like to be told what the baby needs and feels I should ask for his help.

For example, after I feed the baby he wants me to ask him first before passing him to him. He doesn’t like that I say “he needs to be burped then changed” and would rather I ask him to do it. As if it’s domehow optional for him to engage in our child’s care rather than taking the initiative to share the load. Which he doesn’t.

To put in in perspective my husband doesn’t get up in the night to change diapers. When he gets home from work he spends 45 minutes in the bathroom pooping and showering. Then he has to eat half a sleeve of saltines and cheese before he’s “ready” to hold the baby. He sits on the couch with his phone in one hand and the remote in another, barely engaging with the baby while the TV is on. Then I start dinner of finish any chores that need to be done. If I’m lucky, my husband will take his plate to the kitchen and start cleaning up or offer to bathe the baby. I do all the night time care and put the baby to sleep while my husband gets a solid 6-8 hours of sleep.

The weekends are my only reprieve. My husband doesn’t like that I tell him what the baby needs. I don’t have the option to cop out of diaper changes or feedings, it’s all on me during the week. My husband feels I’m trying to “pass the baby off” to him - which is exactly what I’m trying to do! I need 30 minutes to shower or paint my nails or anything.

When I try to bring this up to him all he says is “wow” and disengages, returns to his phone, or argues that I spend too much time on my phone or that I should just be doing the diaper changes when the baby needs it because that’s what “he would do” - but he doesn’t. He doesn’t take initiative which is why I tell him. He just. doesn’t. get. it.

I feel like I’m drowning. My husband has spent maybe 6 hours straight with our son once in 8 weeks and I do 95% of the work. My husband will sometimes take the baby on weekday mornings from 6-8 so I can get some extra sleep but that’s about the extent of it.

He had a backache this weekend and in between changing and feeding the baby I had to bring him painkillers, rub his back, bring the baby to him while he laid on the couch. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic, but I’ve had to solo parent with migraines and the flu without any reprieve from him.

How can I get him to engage more? I can’t keep this dynamic up.

The more I read this the more I think you’re lazy. He can’t shower at work, right? You have multiple opportunities a day to shower. A newborn baby should be taking multiple naps. Something is wrong if you’re only able to find 30 minutes to shower when he is home on the weekend. Maybe you have a colicky baby, but you didn’t mention that so I assume not.

Your husband is saying WOW because he’s shocked to find out about your expectation. You decided to have a baby and you’re home on leave. To take care of a baby. Trying to make him miserable won’t make you any less miserable. Why are is it a problem that he needs an hour to chill before he takes over the baby? Didn’t you say he also is taking him in the mornings? You seem to not understand what life is like with a newborn. This is it. Your husband is at work and when you go back to work you will be relieved of your job taking care of the baby from day, 7-5 PM or whatever your work hours are.

Troll? Person who has never spent a day with an 8 week old? Or just an example of someone to never ever have a baby with?

Or someone who hasn’t been at the office all day and had a spouse immediately pushing a baby on them when they enter the door?? Not sure why OP is upset that she has to take care of a baby while on maternity leave.

Thanks for confirming that you've never cared for an 8 week old. Here's the thing: the office IS the break from the baby. When they're both home, it's all hands on deck.

If you feel it's unfair that he works all day and then has to care for his baby, I don't know what to tell you. Except that working while pregnant isn't such a piece of cake either. Not to mention giving birth.

I have had children and given birth. I simply don’t think staying home with a newborn is that hard. Obviously it is for OP. I’m not saying her spouse shouldn’t care for the baby at night. Instead I understand why he needs a break before being on baby duty.

Every baby is different as is every mothers birth recovery. Mine at 8 weeks was at peak fussiness and wanted to be held all the time including for a lot of sleep. We worked out the sleep thing eventually and it got better but it was hard for me and not as much napping during the day at that period for me. Dh was amazing, came home, changed and took the baby from me for a couple hours and then I started the evening cluster nursing and dh made dinner, cleaned up, did laundry and anything else in the house. He also got up at 4:30 every day and took the baby right after the morning feed for a bit before work so I could sleep. And he took a month off after I went to work and figured out that it's not that easy to even get out of the house with an infant. For my part I kept my mouth shut as to how he parented, including showing/reminding him how to change diapers only if he asked and let him deal with blowouts himself if he did it wrong.
Yes he went to work every day but it was clear that he is a co parent and needs to spend as much time with the baby as he can to bond and learn her cues and do everything for her except breastfeed. It was all hands on deck for both of us for the first 6 months and we discussed this prior to having kids of how it will be.

Did you read where OP’s husband is cleaning up at night and taking the baby in the mornings? She seems frustrated because he isn’t eager to take the baby from her and engage with him. I personally think she’s upset to be home with a baby and wants her husband to suffer too. That’s why she wants him to take the baby the minute he walks in the door.

[Anonymous]

OP you need to be specific about what you want. Saying you want him “to engage with the baby” isn’t going to get you what you need. You need to find out home from him if he thinks your requests are unreasonable OR if he just dislikes tending to the baby or both. My bet is that he thinks you’re home with the baby and doesn’t understand what the problem is. I see where both of you are coming from. I wouldn’t be that happy if my husband was at home with our kid, I went to work all day and after commuting I had an angry spouse handing me a child as soon as I walked in the door. Especially when I know he was able to take some naps and had a few hours to himself during the day. Also talk to your husband about your expectations when you return to work.

If you want a break after work you need to be specific that you can’t wait until 7 PM to get away from the baby. You need to get away from the baby at 6 PM. Either he needs to take the baby at 6 PM or you need to hire someone. Hiring someone is X dollars an hour. What does he want to do? Make his male ego think he’s solving your problem.

You also need to get out of the house on the weekend. Plan 2-3 hours away and only leave milk. I can’t emphasize the importance of this. The moms with husbands later on tend to be SAHMs who took on all of the work and never left their baby with their husband because who knows why. They will tell you every excuse as to why they didn’t leave the baby. Just do it. Go and get a hair cut. Go grab a coffee with a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH was fully helping with a newborn. I did nursing but he did every diaper when he was home. He gave the baby. Titles at 3am while I pumped to get my supply up. He did that very last night feeding at 4am when kid was 8 months old. As soon as he walked in the door after work he was on. We were a team. It never occurred to me that he wouldn’t be that way and god knows if pulled the shit your DH is pulling he wouldn’t have gotten away with it. Not for more than an hour!!

I can’t imagine asking my spouse to be up multiple times at night when he’s also working all day. What you describe sounds like how you should divide the work when you return to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not understanding what you want from him. I have three kids. Newborns sleep a large portion of the day. You should have a chance during the day jump in the shower. Are you not putting the baby down all day? If that is the case, then yes you are creating a problem. He shouldn’t need to hold the baby the second he walks in the door (unless he wants to). Put the baby in a low reclining bouncer (Bjorne makes a great one that an 8 wk old can go in) or bassinet while you cook. If you are in the middle of something, then ask him to pick him up.

I would never expect my husband to get up with the baby at night. He has a job that would be extremely dangerous to him and others if he is tired, plus he doesn’t get to nap if he needs to. You can nap when the baby naps. Unless you are working full time and formula feeding, it make no sense for him to wake up at night too.

All newborns do is eat, sleep, and want to snuggle their mom. What do want him to do to “engage” besides occasional holding and diaper changing? If you are struggling have him help in other ways like cooking and cleaning. But newborns and moms are meant to be together and expecting a dad is going to 50% of newborn care just isn’t realistic. Sure dads are capable in in some circumstances need to and can provide full great care for a newborn, but the most natural thing and what a newborn wants is its mother.

+1000000. I agree with this. I think OP is angry about the situation (having a baby to care for) and not her husband.

[Anonymous]

All babies are different, I guess the people who are saying that she gets a few times to nap and do stuff on her own today had easy babies. That's nice. I had a first baby who would wake up the second you put him down anywhere, literally 100% of the time, at 8 weeks (but not colicky when awake!), so I was a sleepless wreck and couldn't take showers home alone during the day. There were also incredibly time consuming feeding issues that made the first 7 weeks hell, 8 weeks was my marker for when I'd switch to formula.

You can bet I handed off the baby when DH got home while I was on maternity leave, just to go to the bathroom with the door closed for 5 minutes and eat a snack without baby in hand. If he had immediately sat in the bathroom for 45 minutes and gotten his snack, I would probably be divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You husband is a dick...but, I’m guessing he was this way before you decided to have a kid. He’s not going to change—kids make problems worse. Don’t have any more kids.

Focus on your kid, don’t expect help from the dick, and don’t rub the dick’s back.

Once you’re back to work to work and in a good routine, evaluate whether you’re better off staying with the dick or divorce him.

100% this.

Yup. Why did you rub his back and tend to him? You’re martyring yourself.

Do you have family nearby who can help? Go stay with them.

[Anonymous]

Pretty good troll. OP wrote one post and we're up to 5 pages already. The "half a sleeve of saltines" bit was comedy gold. Good job!