Reply to My husband just doesn’t get it. Barely engages with 8 week old.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "My husband just doesn’t get it. Barely engages with 8 week old. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed mothers are responsible for a much larger chuck of care for newborn babies.  I’m presuming you are off work on maternity leave, he isn’t.  The baby is you job right now.  [/b]

Does your baby not nap and can’t be put down?  Is he colicy? You are making it sound like someone needs to be holding him 24/7.  I had two babies like this, so i don’t ask this in a snarky way and it is a phase that passes.

Put the baby in a swing, wear him in an ergo, put him on a sheepskin rug..those things should free up your arms so you can get some things done.

If you are borderline nervous breakdown, talk to him and explain what help you need to not go crazy.  Encourage DH to wear the baby in a carrier and go for walks with him. [/quote]

Unless you talked about this and previously arranged how the responsibilities would be divided, it is assumed that fathers and mothers are responsible for equal amounts of the care of newborn babies.  I'm presuming he has paternity leave as well.  When is he taking his leave? The baby is both of your jobs equally right now, because both of you made it.

There, FTFY, PP.  BTW, PP, you are a self-righteous sexist prig.  Women are not primarily responsible for newborns.  You demonstrate exactly the kind of sexist world view that puts women behind in life.

A woman who is staying home and taking care of the baby all day is doing a job.  Her job ends when her husband's job ends and it is entirely reasonable to expect that DH participate equally in the care of baby when he gets home.  I am assuming, like many SAHM's she is also doing some other household chores like laundry, grocery shopping and meal prep, while she is home with baby.  These also are equally DH's responsibility.

I am tired of men who steal the labor of women and without recompense and expect that their time is fully their own, even when they have brought other people into the world. 
[/quote]

Preach![b] Why on earth would the baby be only the mother’s responsibility[/b]? What is wrong with you PP? I hope you don’t have children because this isn’t the goddamn 1950s[/quote]

No one is saying this.  Did you not see how her husband is taking over while she cooks and during the mornings?  What is it that OP wants?!?  She wants her husband to enthusiastically take the baby the minute he gets home and give her the entire night off?   Most people don’t want to work all day and then solely care for a child.

Unfortunately the main role of the mother is to feed the baby if she is breastfeeding.  The husband can’t do this.

[b]I strongly disagree that the SAHM job ends at 6-7 PM when the spouse gets home.[/b] As a SAHM your job is to make his or her ability to work as easy as possible.  You have a sole breadwinner and should not be dumping chores and kids on your spouse when they get home.  If you don’t want to care for a child all day then go back to work and you’ll enjoy the same arrangement as your spouse.  Then you can share evening responsibilities since you both work and supper each other’s careers.  
[/quote]

[b]NP. So OP's day never ends? Lol. Her husband gets to come from work at 6/7 and relax[/b] but OP keeps on working. When both parents are at home, parenting duties should be split evenly. 
[/quote]

Nope.  OP has breaks during the day when her baby naps.  A newborn should be napping for a considerable amount of time.  Her husband can’t take naps or TV breaks during the day or use the time to run errands / do chores.  Should OP’s husband take care of some housework and help out at night?  Yes.  But should be viewed as a 50-50 parent?  No.  OP’s job is to take care of the baby and this is why she isn’t going to work.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics