Coy About College Decision

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really my kids go to 2 different large HS. EVERYBODY posted in early May. The only people who didn’t post were those who never post and two others: one not going to college (still posted) and one waitlisted Ivy. Got in finally.

Parents or kids?

[Anonymous]

OP here -- Thanks so much for the different viewpoints on this. I had never really thought about all of these angles. Many of you have made me see how as parents, we should probably follow through with our kids first before posting to social media their happenings, etc.

With many of the local private high schools here having the t-shirt/sweatshirt days and lists of who is going where, that pretty much makes things public and transparent, which has its drawbacks as well.

Lots of food for thought from the responses here. Next time, I will just ponder quietly to myself about why information might have been held back. Some pretty legit reasons have surfaced here that I should think about as we approach decision time down the road.

[Anonymous]

Not on point but similarities. I recently left my job by my own choice for valid reasons. I do not have my next life step perfectly set-up. I have a pat answer I give a parties -- I find the ppl who push for answer 2 then answer 3 to be the worst and v. revealing of character. Im glad OP is open enough to realize sometimes ppl have reasons for what they are doing that are non of anyone else's business; a lesson we should all take!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their DC is hoping to get off the wait list at the school of their choice (or higher choice).

Yep. See this a lot. Delusional pushy parents who don’t realize their kid is 1 of probably 500,000 on elite college waitlists around the US. Better odds to win $1,000 on a scratch off lottery ticket. Again, delusional.

[Anonymous]

My guess is waitlisted at elite and holding a deposit spot at less prestigious college. Embarrassed because their Chloe was DESTINED for an ELITE! Clueless parents don’t realize the waitlist only rarely opens, and 99% of the time it’s for hooked minorities and full-pay rich (and connected) kids. They’re probably mulling an gap year and will try to reapply to elites while holding the deposit at the less prestige school. Sharing all of this was publicly would look a bit unethical.

[Anonymous]

My guess is waitlisted at elite and holding a deposit spot at less prestigious college. Embarrassed because their Chloe was DESTINED for an ELITE! Clueless delusional parents don’t realize the waitlist only rarely opens, and 99% of the time it’s for hooked minorities and full-pay rich (and connected) kids. They’re probably mulling a gap year and will try to reapply to elites while holding the deposit at the less prestige school. Sharing all of this publicly would look a bit unethical and open them up to someone turning them in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like every step, every milestone has been documented leading up to this day-- clearly they were braggy. Sounds like whatever decision they have been part of here they are not at all proud of.

I've noticed that many private school kids who are headed to public for HS, the parents are very hush hush about it. That's also odd to me. Are they embarrassed? Bragged about private fr the first 9 years but now can't afford the higher price tag in HS?

+1

[Anonymous]

People DO get off the waitlists but it requires a few things to happen. For example my DC won a national prize : off waitlist when college received letter. Cousin also. It does happen but not frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people do the big reveal on move-in day!

Don’t know one.single.person who did that

Lol. Most of these bored moms are desperate for dopamine hits vis ‘likes’ and will post college acceptance, graduation, and move-in.

[Anonymous]

Braggy families not posting a milestone like this is almost always waitlist delusions or family money troubles.

[Anonymous]

I have found the people with the most interesting news (elite college, awards, great job, etc.) *don't* post it. Others usually find out through the grapevine somehow. That always impresses me far more than the braggy social media posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- Thanks so much for the different viewpoints on this. I had never really thought about all of these angles. Many of you have made me see how as parents, we should probably follow through with our kids first before posting to social media their happenings, etc.

With many of the local private high schools here having the t-shirt/sweatshirt days and lists of who is going where, that pretty much makes things public and transparent, which has its drawbacks as well.

Lots of food for thought from the responses here. Next time, I will just ponder quietly to myself about why information might have been held back. Some pretty legit reasons have surfaced here that I should think about as we approach decision time down the road.

This. DCUM helped you make yourself a better person, OP! Good job to everyone who posted and helped OP grow!

[Anonymous]

My oldest is a rising senior. I post pics of my kids - all the time. I won’t post what school she goes to, though. Why? It’s her news to share with HER friends. I will post graduation photos and prom photos because those are more “public” events, but college choice is HERS to share since it’s a “private” event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is a rising senior. I post pics of my kids - all the time. I won’t post what school she goes to, though. Why? It’s her news to share with HER friends. I will post graduation photos and prom photos because those are more “public” events, but college choice is HERS to share since it’s a “private” event.

Eh I think it's fine for you to post it after she does. I'm not sure why people are acting like OP was soooo out of line for even wondering why this family hasn't shared when they share everything else.

It's not like it's a secret. People will find out in the fall regardless if the kid posts photos with the location tagged.

Let her share first, then you can share with your friends and family.

[Anonymous]

And also, college decisions are not just about the student.

If YOU are the person paying, it's a pretty big thing that involves you too, especially if you are being asked to plunk down 350-400k over the course of 4 years!!