Coy About College Decision

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People it’s entirely natural to wonder about this! I’m sure most of their social circle is, given what OP has said about them and what the post.

There’s no way to know though.

+1

ITA but it’s considered a necessary precondition of posting on here to attack the OP of any thread even if they are entirely reasonable and rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are being ridiculously harsh on the OP.

I fully agree that it is not everyone's business where my kids go to college (when they hopefully go!)

That's why I. DON'T. POST. HUNDREDS. OF. PICS. AND. UPDATES. OF. MY. KIDS. ON. SOCIAL. MEDIA.

I'm seeing tons of criticism heaped upon the OP. This low-level curiosity OP and others have about this kids' destination is the 100% natural outcome/consequence of parents who decide to share/glorify every single solitary thing about their kids lives.

OP and the others aren't "nosy busybodies" They are people that have been repeatedly invited to front row seats the the performance piece these parents have decided to make of their families life. To extend the metaphor, suddenly the curtains have been closed in the middle of the performance. Sure, it was free performance, and the audience members can get up and go anytime they want, but it's ridiculous for you all to help scorn on these audience members for turning to each other and asking, "Huh, wonder what happened to the show?"

1000%

This is the natural consequence from living your life openly online. People start to think they are entitled to information. Why? Because you’ve accustomed them to steady drips of personal information about yourself.

Everyone else in here is being completely ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I think we all have friends or acquaintances who overshare on social media.

Rather than scratching your head when they (for once) decide not to share a post on a life event maybe you should be grateful for the respite.

Personally I hope that the kid doesn’t have a serious issue or illness that is putting their future plans in question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

OP here. That's unfair to say. You don't know what I have or have not experienced in life.

Again, it was another group of parents that asked the question originally, because it seemed odd to most of us who have followed along after all of these years.

As Frank Bruni says, where your kid ends up going to college is not the end of the world. But for as much as DCs parents have shared about DC, I think it would not be off base to ponder this, though none of our business.

Like I said, lesson learned.

You clearly haven't learned the right lesson. The lesson you need to learn is to give people their space and stop judging. In your shoes, I would also be curious. I would not, however, try to suggest that because they aren't sharing they shouldn't post pictures and celebrate this major milestone in their child's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

Yep. Guessing she’s felt competitive with them and still thinks her kid is going ivy so she wants to hear what their kid is doing and feel smug if the kid isn’t going ivy after all.

OP here. Not at all. Maybe that's the way you think, but not the way I think. If you knew these parents, you would understand. They don't hold back on accolades -- theirs or their kids.

Ah, there it is. Hoping their kid will somehow not live up to the hype and you can, for once, feel superior? Nice that the whole “friend” group is wondering about this behind their backs. Give that kid a break.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like every step, every milestone has been documented leading up to this day-- clearly they were braggy. Sounds like whatever decision they have been part of here they are not at all proud of.

I've noticed that many private school kids who are headed to public for HS, the parents are very hush hush about it. That's also odd to me. Are they embarrassed? Bragged about private fr the first 9 years but now can't afford the higher price tag in HS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

Yep. Guessing she’s felt competitive with them and still thinks her kid is going ivy so she wants to hear what their kid is doing and feel smug if the kid isn’t going ivy after all.

OP here. Not at all. Maybe that's the way you think, but not the way I think. If you knew these parents, you would understand. They don't hold back on accolades -- theirs or their kids.

Yea, OP you sound like a real friend to this family. Your true colors are being revealed with every new stroke of your keyboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

Yep. Guessing she’s felt competitive with them and still thinks her kid is going ivy so she wants to hear what their kid is doing and feel smug if the kid isn’t going ivy after all.

OP here. Not at all. Maybe that's the way you think, but not the way I think. If you knew these parents, you would understand. They don't hold back on accolades -- theirs or their kids.

Yea, OP you sound like a real friend to this family. Your true colors are being revealed with every new stroke of your keyboard.

+1

[Anonymous]

Pulling strings to get off waitlists. Or Larla is pregnant. Or scrambling for a gap year position.

[Anonymous]

Geez OP you really believe Frank Bruni? He means other people’s kids not his own.

[Anonymous]

We didn’t post anything because DC wasn’t posting anything. Not that I post a lot, but this could be considered biggish news. Why wasn’t DC posting? Because DC got into her dream school (top ivy) and the same school rejected a lot of her friends. Boasting on social media didn’t seem kind.

[Anonymous]

When this happens it is always because of one of the following:

1. Didn't get into a school of which the parents are proud
2. Was waitlisted and hopes to get off
3. Didn't get in anywhere and is scrambling, hitting the list of colleges with rolling admissions and/or working connections

[Anonymous]

I love DCUM. If you announce your kid's college on FB, you are obnoxious and bragging. If you don't announce your kid's college on FB, you are coy and disingenuous.

[Anonymous]

Waitlisted at UVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn’t post anything because DC wasn’t posting anything. Not that I post a lot, but this could be considered biggish news. Why wasn’t DC posting? Because DC got into her dream school (top ivy) and the same school rejected a lot of her friends. Boasting on social media didn’t seem kind.

OP here. This is where I have a problem. Are you supposed to never post on social media any of your happy news if it may make another person feel bad, ever? This is sort of what you are saying -- DC didn't post because others who also applied did not get in. It's not boasting if you politely share and then move on. It's boasting if you are rubbing it in their faces. Some schools here in DC actually post where each graduate is going (G Prep, Anslem, etc). Is that considered boasting? Are the kids that wear the sweatshirts from their school of choice boasting each year when the school snaps that shot and places it all over their social media in May each year?

Most private schools here do that (look at recent school photos) and somehow, we don't usually consider it bragging. So would you tell your daughter to not wear her sweatshirt for the pic (or rather to sit it out) because other classmates did not get into that school also? I know that I wouldn't.