Coy About College Decision

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not entitled to information about someone else's life.

Spend your time worrying about other things.

And there you are again. A whole bunch of negative. Please troll someone else.

PP had a perfectly reasonable response. Failing to support your worldview does not make someone a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people do the big reveal on move-in day!

Don’t know one.single.person who did that

[Anonymous]

All you b****ches read FB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people do the big reveal on move-in day!

Don’t know one.single.person who did that

I do. They certainly told friends and family at the time the girl decided. And all were very happy with the choice.

But nothing was put on social media until move-in day/orientation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wanted to gain other parents thoughts on this. Have a few friends that have kept us in the loop of their kids lives over the years on social media. Every accomplishment, milestone, picture from childhood and on -- you name it -- was shared with friends (including me) on social media. Their DC just graduated from high school and a few of us on their social media site have asked where DC is going to college. They refuse to release the name of the college.

My thought is that they have every right to not share if they don't want to. But I find it a little disingenuous that they would share so much of their personal lives with us on social media, see that we share our DC's details as well, and then pull back on releasing the college decision. So many of us put ours out there.

Is this normal? I would think that they have shared so much until now, but now we're supposed to not ask?

They seem incredibly proud of their DC, but I have to wonder why the secrecy. What are they signaling?

DP To answer your question: yes it is normal and although you say you don't expect it you seem to sort of do in your later posts. I have a senior and while I don't post anything ever my kid got tired of answering questions about where they were going and what they were doing. Yes, it is normal chit chat but, it got annoying after a while when the first thing all adults do is ask this information. It gets old very fast. And it is from everyone not just close friends.

I think that asking the question, "Where next?" is normal. If you announced that you were retiring from your job, your friends would ask, "What next?" The answer might be golf, volunteering, condo in Florida, or new job. If your friends don't care what you're doing next, they don't care about you. When I (as a mom of a junior) ask graduating seniors, "Where next?," I'm genuinely curious, and I want to know if my child can visit them next year at college if they're going to a college that she's interested in. If they name community college, I act all excited, too, and mention that there are many great professors there. If they mention a gap year, I mention that it was a really good experience for a relative. Is this so terrible?

[Anonymous]

Maybe their child finally stood up for herself and said "STOP TALKING ABOUT EVERY PIMPLE I GET ON SOCIAL MEDIA. NOWWWWWWW!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is obvious to me that if someone doesn't share what Larlo's future plans are, they have a good reason.

And it wasn't my place to pry.

Social media sucks.

+100
My son asked us not to post any pictures of his graduation on social media. No reason, other than he didn't want pictures of himself out there and isn't into social media himself. So we didn't. Consequently, I've had a lot of parents ask me if "everything is ok" and what Larlo is "up to these days." Clearly, they think something horribly embarrassing happened.

I really hate social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe their child finally stood up for herself and said "STOP TALKING ABOUT EVERY PIMPLE I GET ON SOCIAL MEDIA. NOWWWWWWW!"

THIS ^^^. We used to post on FB about our kids (not all the time, but fairly regularly). Once they hit high school, they asked us to stop and we did.

[Anonymous]

When talking about the kids with other parents, I try to be mindful and not put them on the spot. I don't ask where their child is going to college. I simply ask what their plans are. Then they don't needed to say Larla isn't going to college, they can just explain her plans.

Believe it or not, everyone doesn't go to college. No need too make them feel bad when they shouldn't. Not all are capable or can afford it. Just because it's negotiable for many of us on this board doesn't mean everyone has that luxury.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. I meant non negotiable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people do the big reveal on move-in day!

Don’t know one.single.person who did that

I do. They certainly told friends and family at the time the girl decided. And all were very happy with the choice.

But nothing was put on social media until move-in day/orientation.

Yes, I know people who did that...people who post very seldom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When this happens it is always because of one of the following:

1. Didn't get into a school of which the parents are proud
2. Was waitlisted and hopes to get off
3. Didn't get in anywhere and is scrambling, hitting the list of colleges with rolling admissions and/or working connections

I vote #2 most likely, but there are other possibilities:

4. Got into a very elite school & don't want to seem braggy.
5. Took merit aid for lower tier school and know people will be surprised, don't want to brag about $$.
6. Are the kind of people who seek maximum attention on FB and are planning another huge post just about college decision or gap year plans.
7. Kid forbade them from announcing for some reason.

[Anonymous]

8. Having second thoughts about the school they chose or about attending college at all next year
9. Got some really bad grades second semester and concerned about possible rescinding
10. Financial reasons (uncertain income going forward, having second thoughts about the cost, etc)
11. Trying to be low key due to some other friends who weren't admitted to their school

[Anonymous]

Really my kids go to 2 different large HS. EVERYBODY posted in early May. The only people who didn’t post were those who never post and two others: one not going to college (still posted) and one waitlisted Ivy. Got in finally.

[Anonymous]

Here in DCUM land I never noticed anyone not posting their elite school.