Coy About College Decision

[Anonymous]

Wanted to gain other parents thoughts on this. Have a few friends that have kept us in the loop of their kids lives over the years on social media. Every accomplishment, milestone, picture from childhood and on -- you name it -- was shared with friends (including me) on social media. Their DC just graduated from high school and a few of us on their social media site have asked where DC is going to college. They refuse to release the name of the college.

My thought is that they have every right to not share if they don't want to. But I find it a little disingenuous that they would share so much of their personal lives with us on social media, see that we share our DC's details as well, and then pull back on releasing the college decision. So many of us put ours out there.

Is this normal? I would think that they have shared so much until now, but now we're supposed to not ask?

They seem incredibly proud of their DC, but I have to wonder why the secrecy. What are they signaling?

[Anonymous]

MYOB. You also sound petty AF.

[Anonymous]

Their DC is hoping to get off the wait list at the school of their choice (or higher choice).

[Anonymous]

Myob. You are not entitled to anything and you sound like you want to cause trouble or worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their DC is hoping to get off the wait list at the school of their choice (or higher choice).

Never thought about it this way, but sounds like you are probably right. I guess I don't understand why they posted pic after pic of graduation if they were unsure. They posted a lot of pics and it was actually another group of parents, not me, that asked about the college choice. I didn't understand it either.

[Anonymous]

Would they talk to you in person rather than in writing or on social media? Whenever there's more to the story, online is never the place to be.

[Anonymous]

Or the kid doesn't want to go to college and the family is at odds.

Or they've had a financial setback and can't afford college.

Maybe the kid (or their girlfriend) is pregnant.

Just say congrats on graduation and keep scrolling.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- you are rather mean.

These are personal friends, and yes, so many of us have shared our info with them. Never said we were entitled to the info. But do find it odd that if they felt uncomfortable about the next step, why post pic after pic on social media from DC's graduation and stating how proud they were of DC, etc., wanting us all to cheer DC on?

Wouldn't it seem obvious that people would want to know next steps?

To be clear, it was not me that asked about where the DC is going to college. It was other parents who congratulated the kid on social media (over 300 people have congratulated the kid on social media based on the graduation pics the parents posted). But I think that there is nothing wrong with asking. Just surprised that the family is being coy after being so in our face about the graduation.

Had they been silent about it all, then I would feel like questions about college might be intrusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here -- pp telling me it's none of my business -- you are rather mean.

These are personal friends, and yes, so many of us have shared our info with them. Never said we were entitled to the info. But do find it odd that if they felt uncomfortable about the next step, why post pic after pic on social media from DC's graduation and stating how proud they were of DC, etc., wanting us all to cheer DC on?

Wouldn't it seem obvious that people would want to know next steps?

To be clear, it was not me that asked about where the DC is going to college. It was other parents who congratulated the kid on social media (over 300 people have congratulated the kid on social media based on the graduation pics the parents posted). But I think that there is nothing wrong with asking. Just surprised that the family is being coy after being so in our face about the graduation.

Had they been silent about it all, then I would feel like questions about college might be intrusive.

[Anonymous]

It is obvious to me that if someone doesn't share what Larlo's future plans are, they have a good reason.

And it wasn't my place to pry.

Social media sucks.

[Anonymous]

As indicated by the other posts, there are lots of reasons they might not be sure about their plan or don't want to post it on social media.

Be patient. If the kid leaves for college in the fall, perhaps they will post about it then.

Most FB posts I've seen about graduation - and I'm seeing a lot this year - are not talking about college. Congratulate the child and parents, the end.

[Anonymous]

You are not entitled to information about someone else's life.

Spend your time worrying about other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is obvious to me that if someone doesn't share what Larlo's future plans are, they have a good reason.

And it wasn't my place to pry.

Social media sucks.

Yes, this should be obvious to anyone with EQ > 0.

And it’s really their DC’s place to share. Not the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not entitled to information about someone else's life.

Spend your time worrying about other things.

And there you are again. A whole bunch of negative. Please troll someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here -- you are rather mean.

These are personal friends, and yes, so many of us have shared our info with them. Never said we were entitled to the info. But do find it odd that if they felt uncomfortable about the next step, why post pic after pic on social media from DC's graduation and stating how proud they were of DC, etc., wanting us all to cheer DC on?

Wouldn't it seem obvious that people would want to know next steps?

To be clear, it was not me that asked about where the DC is going to college. It was other parents who congratulated the kid on social media (over 300 people have congratulated the kid on social media based on the graduation pics the parents posted). But I think that there is nothing wrong with asking. Just surprised that the family is being coy after being so in our face about the graduation.

Had they been silent about it all, then I would feel like questions about college might be intrusive.

You're obviously a very competitive person and in a very competitive social group, Of all the high school graduation pics I've seen on social media over the last few weeks from friends, family, former colleagues and acquaintances, I've only seen one who gave any clue about where the kid was going to college. I've also never seen any comments from anyone other than "congratulations!" No one's asking "ok, so what are the college plans?"