Coy About College Decision

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are being ridiculously harsh on the OP.

I fully agree that it is not everyone's business where my kids go to college (when they hopefully go!)

That's why I. DON'T. POST. HUNDREDS. OF. PICS. AND. UPDATES. OF. MY. KIDS. ON. SOCIAL. MEDIA.

I'm seeing tons of criticism heaped upon the OP. This low-level curiosity OP and others have about this kids' destination is the 100% natural outcome/consequence of parents who decide to share/glorify every single solitary thing about their kids lives.

OP and the others aren't "nosy busybodies" They are people that have been repeatedly invited to front row seats the the performance piece these parents have decided to make of their families life. To extend the metaphor, suddenly the curtains have been closed in the middle of the performance. Sure, it was free performance, and the audience members can get up and go anytime they want, but it's ridiculous for you all to help scorn on these audience members for turning to each other and asking, "Huh, wonder what happened to the show?"

OP here. I tend to agree with this post. We have been given front row seats to a play by play of DC's life for nearly 18 years. Never asked, but the parents have been so proud. And these are public figure type of parents. By doing as much (as late as yesterday posting many pics!) and then being completely silent on college, I am sure that, although it is none of our business, that many were wondering the same.

I agree that this is good food for thought when it comes to posting about my DC to social media circles. I don't think any of us expected them to stop here, not after barraging us with pics and award updates, yr after yr.

Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP where is your DC going?

Not a senior yet.

[Anonymous]

Among my relatives on FB, no one posts where their child is going to college. I don’t know if it is because plans might change or if they are being sensitive to their kids privacy. If I am communicating in person or by text directly they will say where. When the time comes, I will likely be the same way.

[Anonymous]

They probably got into Harvard but the mom doesn’t want to drop the “h bomb”

[Anonymous]

Oh, I get it. The parents have a high profile and you want the inside scoop.

OP, you could have thought of all these reasons PPs posted here. I could think ten more off the top of my head. Instead, you wanted to gossip to strangers. Have you asked the other parents in this family’s fb the same question? Probably not because you are embarrassed to say this out loud. And you should be. You are just a fb friend, not a real one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP here. I tend to agree with this post. We have been given front row seats to a play by play of DC's life for nearly 18 years. Never asked, but the parents have been so proud. And these are public figure type of parents. By doing as much (as late as yesterday posting many pics!) and then being completely silent on college, I am sure that, although it is none of our business, that many were wondering the same.

I agree that this is good food for thought when it comes to posting about my DC to social media circles. I don't think any of us expected them to stop here, not after barraging us with pics and award updates, yr after yr.

Lesson learned.

I think there is a difference to posting about xyz band concert and where your kid is going to college. It’s not like someone is saying hey, you can find my kid attending the Blah Blah school of music on 4th street every Saturday and here is the concert. Talking about a past event isn’t the same as posting information on where someone can find your child in the future. Also, not everyone is in the music world so they can be congratulatory without being judgmental or competitive- folks have hundreds of friends on FB feeds and you just never know how folks will react about college info. Lastly, your 17 or 18 child should be allowed more control over what information is being posted about them. I’ve cut way back on posting about my children because I am conscious of that and trying to make that transition to seeing them as almost adults. I wouldn’t want them constantly posting about me and where my job is located and all my business - things I may not want to share at large.

[Anonymous]

OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

Yep. Guessing she’s felt competitive with them and still thinks her kid is going ivy so she wants to hear what their kid is doing and feel smug if the kid isn’t going ivy after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their DC is hoping to get off the wait list at the school of their choice (or higher choice).

Never thought about it this way, but sounds like you are probably right. I guess I don't understand why they posted pic after pic of graduation if they were unsure. They posted a lot of pics and it was actually another group of parents, not me, that asked about the college choice. I didn't understand it either.

So because they haven't told you where their kid is going to college, they shouldn't post pictures of their kid's graduation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

OP here. That's unfair to say. You don't know what I have or have not experienced in life.

Again, it was another group of parents that asked the question originally, because it seemed odd to most of us who have followed along after all of these years.

As Frank Bruni says, where your kid ends up going to college is not the end of the world. But for as much as DCs parents have shared about DC, I think it would not be off base to ponder this, though none of our business.

Like I said, lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

Yep. Guessing she’s felt competitive with them and still thinks her kid is going ivy so she wants to hear what their kid is doing and feel smug if the kid isn’t going ivy after all.

OP here. Not at all. Maybe that's the way you think, but not the way I think. If you knew these parents, you would understand. They don't hold back on accolades -- theirs or their kids.

[Anonymous]

I am LOLing at all the self righteous crusaders in this thread who honestly expect us to believe they never wonder about other people’s motivations or gossip. Nah.

Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

People it’s entirely natural to wonder about this! I’m sure most of their social circle is, given what OP has said about them and what the post.

There’s no way to know though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs kid hasn’t even applied to college yet. She has no clue about how fraught it can be for some kids, and their families.

Until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes OP...

Yep. Guessing she’s felt competitive with them and still thinks her kid is going ivy so she wants to hear what their kid is doing and feel smug if the kid isn’t going ivy after all.

OP here. Not at all. Maybe that's the way you think, but not the way I think. If you knew these parents, you would understand. They don't hold back on accolades -- theirs or their kids.

Why are you friends with these people, on Facebook or real life? It sounds like you really don’t like them very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not entitled to information about someone else's life.

Spend your time worrying about other things.

And there you are again. A whole bunch of negative. Please troll someone else.

The pp isn't trolling, pp is giving good advice. You need to take a look in the mirror. You actually think that because they haven't divulged where there kid is going to college, they shouldn't celebrate their child's graduation by posting pictures. Their child spent 13 years in school and graduation is the culmination. Of course they want to celebrate. If you were a real friend you wouldn't think they should only be allowed to post pictures if they give you the information you want.