Would you date a man previously married to a man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but all that sounds messy and confused and I wouldn’t want that for my life

Life is messy and confusing.

Hn, no. Life is perfect, and very beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not gay or bi. Married because the guy made him feel special and wanted. This is in the context of a difficult childhood. Thought he was in love because of that. He was 19/20 at the time. Marriage lasted 4 years. He had one previous relationship with a man that was transactional and lasted 3 years. No other relationships with men.! Has been divorced nearly 6 years. Has been to therapy. Has been dating the last 3 years exclusively women. Would you hesitate?

He sounds like a basket case on every level.

Damaged goods.

Move on. Even if you like anal.

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so situation and person dependent, I don’t think you can get any useful information from a post like this. Some people come out of trauma stronger than ever. Some never get past it. I certainly wouldn’t write someone offf completely based on their past but I would proceed with caution.

Past actions are the best predictor of future actions. People don’t change especially sexually. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Very sad background, and I’d keep it as friends only.

Lots of fish in the sea hunny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who’s having a hard time with the timeline? He’s been divorced for 6 years even though gay marriage hasn’t even been legal for 6 years, let alone 12 or whatever it would have been when he got married? Troll.

Gay marriage was legal in VT more than 10 years ago.

It’s been legal in Massachusetts since 2004

I had wondered about this too and what makes me suspect a troll is that this is the kind of dominant/dependent relationship that would rarely actually lead to marriage. 19/20 year old men were not queuing up to get married in MA or New Hampshire or one of the early states. This is a kid just barely out of high school. It's possible but the circumstances told to us are very strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im curious as to why everyone says not to date/marry someone who is bi? I totally understand why OP shouldn't date him if he's gay, but bi? Seems a bit restrictive. Bi does mean that he can fall in love with someone (and stay monogamous) regardless of gender.

Historically a high percentage of men who claimed to be bi were merely gay men still halfway in the closet. And talk to any gay men and they'll tell you the apps are rife with "bi" men cheating on wives and girlfriends. Some even thrive off it like a sexual kick. A lot of gay men distrust bi men for this reason, and another common complaint is that bi men are merely looking for sex but are incapable of developing deeper feelings and at the end of the day most end up, or try to end up, with an unsuspecting woman so they can have the normal life with kids.

And most women don't care for bi men because most women are not appealed by the notion of their husband having done specific kinds of sexual activities. And, as been referenced already on this thread, you'd always be worried about your husband straying with another man because how does one give up the sexual hunger for other men?

I have a gay brother and gay friends but I would not date a bi man no more than I would date a gay man. No matter how wonderful the individual man may be otherwise, the risks are too high and the notion of a bisexual partner is a major turnoff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im curious as to why everyone says not to date/marry someone who is bi? I totally understand why OP shouldn't date him if he's gay, but bi? Seems a bit restrictive. Bi does mean that he can fall in love with someone (and stay monogamous) regardless of gender.

Historically a high percentage of men who claimed to be bi were merely gay men still halfway in the closet. And talk to any gay men and they'll tell you the apps are rife with "bi" men cheating on wives and girlfriends. Some even thrive off it like a sexual kick. A lot of gay men distrust bi men for this reason, and another common complaint is that bi men are merely looking for sex but are incapable of developing deeper feelings and at the end of the day most end up, or try to end up, with an unsuspecting woman so they can have the normal life with kids.

And most women don't care for bi men because most women are not appealed by the notion of their husband having done specific kinds of sexual activities. And, as been referenced already on this thread, you'd always be worried about your husband straying with another man because how does one give up the sexual hunger for other men?

I have a gay brother and gay friends but I would not date a bi man no more than I would date a gay man. No matter how wonderful the individual man may be otherwise, the risks are too high and the notion of a bisexual partner is a major turnoff.

PP basically feeds the stereotype that bis are inherently untrustworthy, damaged, people.

Lots of “straight” men have some same sex attraction. They are just forced to hide it because modern society insists that men categorize themselves as either 100% straight or 100% gay.

Fortunately, younger people are thankfully less dogmatic about this kind of stuff and are more willing to acknowledge shades of gray.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if I myself were also a gay man.

If I were a heterosexual man (or woman)?

No.

[Anonymous]

How wealthy is he and what is his current life expectancy? Will he promise to provide for you financially with an iron-clad prenup?

If so--I wouldn't rule this out at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im curious as to why everyone says not to date/marry someone who is bi? I totally understand why OP shouldn't date him if he's gay, but bi? Seems a bit restrictive. Bi does mean that he can fall in love with someone (and stay monogamous) regardless of gender.

Historically a high percentage of men who claimed to be bi were merely gay men still halfway in the closet. And talk to any gay men and they'll tell you the apps are rife with "bi" men cheating on wives and girlfriends. Some even thrive off it like a sexual kick. A lot of gay men distrust bi men for this reason, and another common complaint is that bi men are merely looking for sex but are incapable of developing deeper feelings and at the end of the day most end up, or try to end up, with an unsuspecting woman so they can have the normal life with kids.

And most women don't care for bi men because most women are not appealed by the notion of their husband having done specific kinds of sexual activities. And, as been referenced already on this thread, you'd always be worried about your husband straying with another man because how does one give up the sexual hunger for other men?

I have a gay brother and gay friends but I would not date a bi man no more than I would date a gay man. No matter how wonderful the individual man may be otherwise, the risks are too high and the notion of a bisexual partner is a major turnoff.

PP basically feeds the stereotype that bis are inherently untrustworthy, damaged, people.

Lots of “straight” men have some same sex attraction. They are just forced to hide it because modern society insists that men categorize themselves as either 100% straight or 100% gay.

Fortunately, younger people are thankfully less dogmatic about this kind of stuff and are more willing to acknowledge shades of gray.

I think you're just in a form of denial. These stereotypes exist for a reason. They're based on many people learning it the hard way.

- Straight woman here who would never date a bi man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im curious as to why everyone says not to date/marry someone who is bi? I totally understand why OP shouldn't date him if he's gay, but bi? Seems a bit restrictive. Bi does mean that he can fall in love with someone (and stay monogamous) regardless of gender.

Historically a high percentage of men who claimed to be bi were merely gay men still halfway in the closet. And talk to any gay men and they'll tell you the apps are rife with "bi" men cheating on wives and girlfriends. Some even thrive off it like a sexual kick. A lot of gay men distrust bi men for this reason, and another common complaint is that bi men are merely looking for sex but are incapable of developing deeper feelings and at the end of the day most end up, or try to end up, with an unsuspecting woman so they can have the normal life with kids.

And most women don't care for bi men because most women are not appealed by the notion of their husband having done specific kinds of sexual activities. And, as been referenced already on this thread, you'd always be worried about your husband straying with another man because how does one give up the sexual hunger for other men?

I have a gay brother and gay friends but I would not date a bi man no more than I would date a gay man. No matter how wonderful the individual man may be otherwise, the risks are too high and the notion of a bisexual partner is a major turnoff.

PP basically feeds the stereotype that bis are inherently untrustworthy, damaged, people.

Lots of “straight” men have some same sex attraction. They are just forced to hide it because modern society insists that men categorize themselves as either 100% straight or 100% gay.

Fortunately, younger people are thankfully less dogmatic about this kind of stuff and are more willing to acknowledge shades of gray.

I think you're just in a form of denial. These stereotypes exist for a reason. They're based on many people learning it the hard way.

- Straight woman here who would never date a bi man.

The stereotype gets reinforced because you don't hear from the majority of "bi" men because the overwhelming majority of them identify as "straight" and basically keep it to themselves. You only hear about the ones that are acting in the way that you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who’s having a hard time with the timeline? He’s been divorced for 6 years even though gay marriage hasn’t even been legal for 6 years, let alone 12 or whatever it would have been when he got married? Troll.

Gay marriage was legal in VT more than 10 years ago.

It’s been legal in Massachusetts since 2004

I had wondered about this too and what makes me suspect a troll is that this is the kind of dominant/dependent relationship that would rarely actually lead to marriage. 19/20 year old men were not queuing up to get married in MA or New Hampshire or one of the early states. This is a kid just barely out of high school. It's possible but the circumstances told to us are very strange.

I knew one not much older than that who went up to VT over a weekend to get married. His partner was quite a bit older and probably using it to create a more secure hold on the young man I knew.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine being attracted to a man who’s been voluntarily sodomized. I could never take him seriously as a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine being attracted to a man who’s been voluntarily sodomized. I could never take him seriously as a man.

Posts like this is why I don’t buy into hate is dying out. People like this are raising the next generation of ignorance.