Would you date a man previously married to a man?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not gay or bi. Married because the guy made him feel special and wanted. This is in the context of a difficult childhood. Thought he was in love because of that. He was 19/20 at the time. Marriage lasted 4 years. He had one previous relationship with a man that was transactional and lasted 3 years. No other relationships with men.! Has been divorced nearly 6 years. Has been to therapy. Has been dating the last 3 years exclusively women. Would you hesitate?

He was in relationships with men for 7 years, and you are claiming he isn't gay or bi? Umm . . .

Sounds like the issue here will be how he handles relationships that are not based on bad situations, the "transactional relationship" clearly happened when he ran away from group care as a teen. I agree with take it slow and learn more about him. That is a form of hesitation, but look at all the "normal" people women date who turn out to have a-hole qualities.

[Anonymous]

No, I wouldn't. Because to me, he is a gay man. A gay man is going to want a penis again at some point and I do not have one. I'd rather just say no to this at the beginning than end up unhappy down the road. Be his friend, though, if he seems like a good person and you enjoy his company.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who’s having a hard time with the timeline? He’s been divorced for 6 years even though gay marriage hasn’t even been legal for 6 years, let alone 12 or whatever it would have been when he got married? Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who’s having a hard time with the timeline? He’s been divorced for 6 years even though gay marriage hasn’t even been legal for 6 years, let alone 12 or whatever it would have been when he got married? Troll.

Gay marriage was legal in VT more than 10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

At the very least he is bisexual. If you are comfortable marrying someone who is bisexual that is up to you. Some people are, some people aren't. On the plus side, I am really happy society is more accepting, because many potential spouses now find out about this beforehand and aren't shocked 10 years in.

[Anonymous]

It’s stuff like this that keeps me coming back to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

So I'm a monogamous Bisexual woman.

This guy needs a lot of therapy. His childhood trauma is probably severe. Hes at least bi. He might want a mother figure.

I wouldn't date him not b.c of the sexuality but b.c of the trauma. Keep him as a friend.

[Anonymous]

Wtf hell no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who’s having a hard time with the timeline? He’s been divorced for 6 years even though gay marriage hasn’t even been legal for 6 years, let alone 12 or whatever it would have been when he got married? Troll.

Gay marriage was legal in VT more than 10 years ago.

It’s been legal in Massachusetts since 2004

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but all that sounds messy and confused and I wouldn’t want that for my life

Life is messy and confusing.

Yes it is but why seek out situations like this one? No thank you.

She didn't seek it out. She didn't post on craigslist "Seeking man previously married to man with numerous other same sex relationships and mysterious trauma."

But now she's here and there's a real live human being who seems nice and normal so far. OP proceed with great caution but there's no reason to not take a tiny step forward.

You and I have very different definitions of that term. Nothing about his history is "normal."

[Anonymous]

No, I would not date a man previously married to a man who had also had a "transactional" prior relationship. But that's me. If it floats your boat, float on.

[Anonymous]

Freak scene! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eO6up9Gpv0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not date a man previously married to a man who had also had a "transactional" prior relationship. But that's me. If it floats your boat, float on.

Can you call it a relationship transactional or otherwise? He was a teen who ran away from what was likely a bad situation and taken advantage of by a creepy adult. He was a vulnerable kid. The marriage is a different story.

[Anonymous]

This is so situation and person dependent, I don’t think you can get any useful information from a post like this. Some people come out of trauma stronger than ever. Some never get past it. I certainly wouldn’t write someone offf completely based on their past but I would proceed with caution.