Would you date a man previously married to a man?

[Anonymous]

So what is this guy supposed to do? I dislike this attitude that once a man has ever expressed interest or been with a man he is basically tainted goods and banished to the Gay Ghetto for life even though he may prefer women. It seems a bit hypocritical considering how common it is for women to go through a “lesbian phase” but go on to be with men.

Not saying that OP has to be his savior, but it seems a bit cold to just ostracize the guy who probably had a rough life. Maybe if he gets therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give him a chance. I'd explore more with him about why he doesn't identify as bi or queer. Does he feel like you wouldn't give him a chance if he admitted that he was attracted to men? Human sexuality exists on a continuum and actually a lot of people are attracted to both sexes to varying degrees depending on situation, access, needs, and personal development. I'm very open minded and would be willing to see the relationship to a natural conclusion, whatever that ends up being. If you start having a sexual relationship and he seems like he's having a good time, then why not keep seeing him? But he may just be testing himself and so, I'd be prepared for the relationship to take a U-turn just in case. But I say, go for it! Have fun and enjoy this person that seems to click with you.

The "human sexuality exists on a continuum" has become such a trendy thing to say and believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give him a chance. I'd explore more with him about why he doesn't identify as bi or queer. Does he feel like you wouldn't give him a chance if he admitted that he was attracted to men? Human sexuality exists on a continuum and actually a lot of people are attracted to both sexes to varying degrees depending on situation, access, needs, and personal development. I'm very open minded and would be willing to see the relationship to a natural conclusion, whatever that ends up being. If you start having a sexual relationship and he seems like he's having a good time, then why not keep seeing him? But he may just be testing himself and so, I'd be prepared for the relationship to take a U-turn just in case. But I say, go for it! Have fun and enjoy this person that seems to click with you.

The "human sexuality exists on a continuum" has become such a trendy thing to say and believe.

What’s trendy is the notion that everyone is “gay” or “straight.” This concept was developed for political reasons in modern times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This such a sad story. And it's sad that everyone is saying just to not date him. He may be a great person, although he's obviously led a really sad, troubled life.

1. I would absolutely assume that he was sexually abused as a child. Probably repeatedly, very likely by multiple people.

2. He might be bi, but I don't think that's a given. There are boys who are sex trafficked who have sex with men because they are forced to -- that doesn't mean they are bi. And there are lots of women who sleep with (or marry) men they aren't attracted to in order to have financial or other security. Most straight American men wouldn't do that, but for a kid that grew up raped by men, he might not have the same psychological barrier to sex with men. (Like girls who are sexually abused as minors seek out similarly abusive relationships as young adults -- it's likely what he knows and grew up with, so it may be "normal" to him, or was at that point in his life.)

3. You need to assume that he has major ongoing psychological trauma. That doesn't mean you shouldn't date him, but just have your eyes open. I'd be somewhat concerned about why he's not in therapy any more. It may be that he takes breaks, and then goes back, and that's fine, but I'd want to make sure he's realistic about the help he needs and what his triggers are.

4. He has a very high risk for STDs, and you should be really careful about that. You may want to ask for an HIV test, and definitely be consistent about using condoms.

You don't say anything about yourself, but you need to think about your own situation. For instance, if you have a young child, this relationship is probably not the one for you.

+1. My thoughts exactly. I feel sadness for him and his childhood. I would be his friend for a long time before venturing into romantic territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give him a chance. I'd explore more with him about why he doesn't identify as bi or queer. Does he feel like you wouldn't give him a chance if he admitted that he was attracted to men? Human sexuality exists on a continuum and actually a lot of people are attracted to both sexes to varying degrees depending on situation, access, needs, and personal development. I'm very open minded and would be willing to see the relationship to a natural conclusion, whatever that ends up being. If you start having a sexual relationship and he seems like he's having a good time, then why not keep seeing him? But he may just be testing himself and so, I'd be prepared for the relationship to take a U-turn just in case. But I say, go for it! Have fun and enjoy this person that seems to click with you.

The "human sexuality exists on a continuum" has become such a trendy thing to say and believe.

What’s trendy is the notion that everyone is “gay” or “straight.” This concept was developed for political reasons in modern times.

Both statements have become trendy in "modern times" - the continuum idea and the either gay or straight notion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine being attracted to a man who’s been voluntarily sodomized. I could never take him seriously as a man.

Posts like this is why I don’t buy into hate is dying out. People like this are raising the next generation of ignorance.

How is it hateful to be repelled by a man having receptive anal sex? Some people are repelled by some sex acts. That’s their right.

Hate is not dying out, especially on anonymous forum and that troll above is one of many examples.

You have yet to explain why it is “hate” to be repelled by sexual acts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what is this guy supposed to do? I dislike this attitude that once a man has ever expressed interest or been with a man he is basically tainted goods and banished to the Gay Ghetto for life even though he may prefer women. It seems a bit hypocritical considering how common it is for women to go through a “lesbian phase” but go on to be with men.

Not saying that OP has to be his savior, but it seems a bit cold to just ostracize the guy who probably had a rough life. Maybe if he gets therapy?

You and OP can go ahead and sacrifice yourselves to save men who have sex with men from the “Gay Ghetto.” Natural selection will take its course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine being attracted to a man who’s been voluntarily sodomized. I could never take him seriously as a man.

Posts like this is why I don’t buy into hate is dying out. People like this are raising the next generation of ignorance.

How is it hateful to be repelled by a man having receptive anal sex? Some people are repelled by some sex acts. That’s their right.

Hate is not dying out, especially on anonymous forum and that troll above is one of many examples.

You have yet to explain why it is “hate” to be repelled by sexual acts.

1. You said you would be repelled by the person and not respect him for his sexual orientation that is the very definition of homophobia.

2. I don’t understand being repelled by sexual acts you are not required to participate in any sexual acts. You are free to decline because it’s not for you but dating it repels you just sounds juvenile. I also have to wonder what is so repulsive about gay sex considering there are the same or similar acts on straight sex.

3. For someone who is repulsed by homosexuality you have spent a lot of time in this thread and think maybe you protest too much...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what is this guy supposed to do? I dislike this attitude that once a man has ever expressed interest or been with a man he is basically tainted goods and banished to the Gay Ghetto for life even though he may prefer women. It seems a bit hypocritical considering how common it is for women to go through a “lesbian phase” but go on to be with men.

Not saying that OP has to be his savior, but it seems a bit cold to just ostracize the guy who probably had a rough life. Maybe if he gets therapy?

This is not common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine being attracted to a man who’s been voluntarily sodomized. I could never take him seriously as a man.

Posts like this is why I don’t buy into hate is dying out. People like this are raising the next generation of ignorance.

How is it hateful to be repelled by a man having receptive anal sex? Some people are repelled by some sex acts. That’s their right.

Hate is not dying out, especially on anonymous forum and that troll above is one of many examples.

You have yet to explain why it is “hate” to be repelled by sexual acts.

1. You said you would be repelled by the person and not respect him for his sexual orientation that is the very definition of homophobia.

2. I don’t understand being repelled by sexual acts you are not required to participate in any sexual acts. You are free to decline because it’s not for you but dating it repels you just sounds juvenile. I also have to wonder what is so repulsive about gay sex considering there are the same or similar acts on straight sex.

3. For someone who is repulsed by homosexuality you have spent a lot of time in this thread and think maybe you protest too much...

You have been discussing with more than one person.

For my part, I am repulsed by people who engage in sex acts I find disgusting and I do not date people who repel me. No apologies about that. You can go ahead and be offended. No one is going to change their mind and start dating men who have sex with men on your say so. A lot of you gay faux activists need to realize that you are not entitled to date who you want. There are people who do not want you in their lives and you just have to deal with that just ad others who you do not want deal with you not wanting them. Equal rights do not entitle you to others’ affections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what is this guy supposed to do? I dislike this attitude that once a man has ever expressed interest or been with a man he is basically tainted goods and banished to the Gay Ghetto for life even though he may prefer women. It seems a bit hypocritical considering how common it is for women to go through a “lesbian phase” but go on to be with men.

Not saying that OP has to be his savior, but it seems a bit cold to just ostracize the guy who probably had a rough life. Maybe if he gets therapy?

This is not common.

Agreed. I don’t know what PP is talking about. And it is absurdly sexist to expect women to behave like men. If some men might be all right with women who sleep with women, that does not mean women have to be attracted to men who sleep with men. A lot of bisexual men just cannot deal with the fact that others’ right to choose means bisexual men may be excluded. Find those who want you and stop trying to emotionally blackmail everyone else with nonsensical arguments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what is this guy supposed to do? I dislike this attitude that once a man has ever expressed interest or been with a man he is basically tainted goods and banished to the Gay Ghetto for life even though he may prefer women. It seems a bit hypocritical considering how common it is for women to go through a “lesbian phase” but go on to be with men.

Not saying that OP has to be his savior, but it seems a bit cold to just ostracize the guy who probably had a rough life. Maybe if he gets therapy?

This guy told op that although he's been in relationships with men, he is not gay or bi. I would not be with a guy who likes to himself like that.

[Anonymous]

I meant, I would not be with a guy who LIES to himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine being attracted to a man who’s been voluntarily sodomized. I could never take him seriously as a man.

Posts like this is why I don’t buy into hate is dying out. People like this are raising the next generation of ignorance.

How is it hateful to be repelled by a man having receptive anal sex? Some people are repelled by some sex acts. That’s their right.

Hate is not dying out, especially on anonymous forum and that troll above is one of many examples.

You have yet to explain why it is “hate” to be repelled by sexual acts.

1. You said you would be repelled by the person and not respect him for his sexual orientation that is the very definition of homophobia.

2. I don’t understand being repelled by sexual acts you are not required to participate in any sexual acts. You are free to decline because it’s not for you but dating it repels you just sounds juvenile. I also have to wonder what is so repulsive about gay sex considering there are the same or similar acts on straight sex.

3. For someone who is repulsed by homosexuality you have spent a lot of time in this thread and think maybe you protest too much...

You have been discussing with more than one person.

For my part, I am repulsed by people who engage in sex acts I find disgusting and I do not date people who repel me. No apologies about that. You can go ahead and be offended. No one is going to change their mind and start dating men who have sex with men on your say so. A lot of you gay faux activists need to realize that you are not entitled to date who you want. There are people who do not want you in their lives and you just have to deal with that just ad others who you do not want deal with you not wanting them. Equal rights do not entitle you to others’ affections.

Who is forcing you to date anyone?

I have said it’s fine not to date anyone you choose.

It’s not fine to be homophobic which you are.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how rich he is. Most DCUM’s would trade masculinity for a 7 figure income