DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m not crazy about it, but it is normal teen behavior. Abuse? Yes. Drugs or other illegal behavior? [b]Yes. Consensual sex? MYOB.

She's 15. We don't know the age of the boy. This could be statutory rape. As a parent I would want to know

Yes have the boy arrested. :roll: maybe he says he was raped and the girl can be arrested also.

No one said have the boy arrested. It is statutory rape. Here's the Maryland law: https://www.ageofconsent.net/states/maryland. She cannot consent below age 16 in the state of Maryland. OP said the girl is under 14 and no age was given for the boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

You would not say the same thing if the genders were reversed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

What century was that? Back in my HS in the 80s, my BF and I (UMC, both went to top 20 schools) "studied" in his room. We did study, but there was plenty of sexy time too. Parents home downstairs. Pretty common for our peer group.

[Anonymous]

1. The girl is under 15
2. Your 14 year old son is having g sex with his 14 year old girlfriend and you want him what...charged with statutory rape?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

What century was that? Back in my HS in the 80s, my BF and I (UMC, both went to top 20 schools) "studied" in his room. We did study, but there was plenty of sexy time too. Parents home downstairs. Pretty common for our peer group.

Crappy, unfit parents existed in the 80s too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

What century was that? Back in my HS in the 80s, my BF and I (UMC, both went to top 20 schools) "studied" in his room. We did study, but there was plenty of sexy time too. Parents home downstairs. Pretty common for our peer group.

Same here, also in high school in the 1980s. Very common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

What century was that? Back in my HS in the 80s, my BF and I (UMC, both went to top 20 schools) "studied" in his room. We did study, but there was plenty of sexy time too. Parents home downstairs. Pretty common for our peer group.

Same here, also in high school in the 1980s. Very common.

She's 14, probably just out of 8th grade. This happen in your junior high school, too? Not in my mid-80s junior high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It's legal for 13 year old kids to wear the same unwashed underwear every day, or eat nothing but twinkies, or scream every 4 letter word in the book when they are angry.....that doesn't mean that their parents should allow or encourage them to do that.

Parents who knowingly invite a minor child over to their house to have sex with their minor daughter are terrible parents.

OP's question:

Do I say anything?

NOT OP's question:

Are my daughter's friend's parents terrible parents?

Perhaps you'd like to start a new thread on terrible parents.

But, are they? I think bunch of uptight pps here are clueless about actual US teen culture. Teens were having sex at 13 in the 80s and 90s. Most teens I know today are practically saints compared to what teens did back in the day. And why are they terrible parents? They are just parents who might have different values and expectations than you and OP. Or at least not completely blind like OP.

The issue is not teenagers having sex (it happens) the issue is the idiot parents allowing it to happen in their home while they are home with someone else's minor child.

OK, sure. But, they will do it anyway, is it really better in the back seat of some car, in the alley or small forest behind the house or who knows where? So, what you are saying is that we all know they are doing it, but as long as it is not under your roof? To me, it certainly seems safer knowing where your kid is, than being ok with your child having sex and you have no idea where. At least at home, if something happens that is not ok by either teen, parents are there to help.

[Anonymous]

Ha, I was around in the 80s and the popular kids all participated in a little "afternoon delight" in their homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She's 14, probably just out of 8th grade. This happen in your junior high school, too? Not in my mid-80s junior high school.

What point are you arguing here? That OP should call some people she doesn't know, to tell them that OP's daughter told OP that their daughter has her boyfriend in her room while they're in the house? Is that what you're saying? Or that we should all agree that OP's daughter's parents must be lousy parents? Or what?

[Anonymous]

When you’re a teen there is no privacy for sex, so they do risky things. I remember sneaking my boyfriend into the house once when everyone was asleep. He climbed my window and climbed right back out. There wasn’t a house alarm, or dog, etc. I was insane, my mother would have killed me if she knew or happened to walk in. I’m still afraid to tell her, and I’ve married with children of my own.

[Anonymous]

OP, unless you are in the room, you don't know. You don't know exactly what's going on. Neither does your daughter. Btw, there are degrees of intimacy. Some teens take it slow. Some are slow to gather experience. Even if they are together - - as mentioned, you don't know what precisely is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I was around in the 80s and the popular kids all participated in a little "afternoon delight" in their homes.

Yep.

My kids weren't especially popular and weren't sexually active until well into their college years. They are intelligent, empathetic and well traveled.
So many of the cool kids from their HS are in serial rehabs or stuck with the group of high school friends that joined the same Greek clubs at State U, just like their parents.
Be careful what you wish for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

What century was that? Back in my HS in the 80s, my BF and I (UMC, both went to top 20 schools) "studied" in his room. We did study, but there was plenty of sexy time too. Parents home downstairs. Pretty common for our peer group.

When I was a kid both of my parents worked. I was a latchkey kid who got myself home from school every day. I could have easily pulled something like this in my parents home except my dad had a way of coming home an hour or so early at random times. My mom left a note of things that needed to be done at home before she got home from work.

I never pulled anything. Ever. And this was way before home security cameras, texting, GPS and all the other electronic surveillance that parents have for their kids.

I did know all about the kids who brought groups of friends home to their empty houses though - sex, drugs, alcohol, you name it they did it. I guess their parents didn't care what they did or who they were with. Sort of sad if you ask me. I think many of them grew up to approach things differently with their own kids.