DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?

[Anonymous]

OP, consider you should be proud that your daughter feels comfortable enough to tell you, and repay that with discretion. Not all teens would share it with their parents. It may also be a bid to gauge your feelings on the subject.

[Anonymous]

I would take this opportunity to talk to your own daughter about safe sex, birth control options, consent, and anything else you deem appropriate. It's time.

You may encourage her to share this information and any resources with her friends. And you can always remind her that she can come to you if she feels her friends are (or if she is) in any trouble, and tell her that you will do your best to find a solution that is effective and not embarrassing or shaming.

[Anonymous]

OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

Not Op, but maybe Op is talking about the girl because she knows the girl's mother and this girl is friends with her daughter?

The girl is not even 15, yet, has only known this boy for a few months and they are going into her bedroom and shutting the door and apparently fooling around and even having sex.

It sounds like the girl's mom is already aware of what is going on but I wonder if the parents of this boy know that this happening.

Whatever label you want to give it, these kids are engaging in risky behavior right under this mother's nose which is pretty bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

PP, while you're at it, think less about OP (and her capitalization) and think more about whether we as a society want 14yos to be engaged in sexual activity.

[Anonymous]

It's not about society wants. A woman, 14 or 34 gets to determine what happens to her body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

I am guessing she is not worried about the boy because the boy is a stranger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about society wants. A woman, 14 or 34 gets to determine what happens to her body.

A 14 year old is not a woman.

Attitudes like your's create situations where young teens put themselves in positions to be exploited by predators and have their lives ruined by poor choices endorsed by enlightened adults such as yourself.

Anything that has extreme potential for life altering, negative consequences should not be left to a young teenager's sole discretion under the guise of benevolence and "choice."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

Not Op, but maybe Op is talking about the girl because she knows the girl's mother and this girl is friends with her daughter?

The girl is not even 15, yet, has only known this boy for a few months and they are going into her bedroom and shutting the door and apparently fooling around and even having sex.

It sounds like the girl's mom is already aware of what is going on but I wonder if the parents of this boy know that this happening.

Whatever label you want to give it, these kids are engaging in risky behavior right under this mother's nose which is pretty bad.

As a mom of a teen boy I would be very upset at the lack of parenting and judgement of this girl's mom and dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

PP, while you're at it, think less about OP (and her capitalization) and think more about whether we as a society want 14yos to be engaged in sexual activity.

?

We as a society don't want lots of people to do lots of things. Almost certainly, you do some things we as a society don't want people like you to do. So should I tell someone in authority over you that someone told me that you told them that you were maybe doing that thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

Not Op, but maybe Op is talking about the girl because she knows the girl's mother and this girl is friends with her daughter?

The girl is not even 15, yet, has only known this boy for a few months and they are going into her bedroom and shutting the door and apparently fooling around and even having sex.

It sounds like the girl's mom is already aware of what is going on but I wonder if the parents of this boy know that this happening.

Whatever label you want to give it, these kids are engaging in risky behavior right under this mother's nose which is pretty bad.

As a mom of a teen boy I would be very upset at the lack of parenting and judgement of this girl's mom and dad.

As the mother of a teenager and a pre-teen I am very upset at posters on DCUM who seem to believe that everybody should raise their kids according to my values and judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

Not Op, but maybe Op is talking about the girl because she knows the girl's mother and this girl is friends with her daughter?

The girl is not even 15, yet, has only known this boy for a few months and they are going into her bedroom and shutting the door and apparently fooling around and even having sex.

It sounds like the girl's mom is already aware of what is going on but I wonder if the parents of this boy know that this happening.

Whatever label you want to give it, these kids are engaging in risky behavior right under this mother's nose which is pretty bad.

As a mom of a teen boy I would be very upset at the lack of parenting and judgement of this girl's mom and dad.

Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

[Anonymous]

I would start a conversation with the mother about the general topic that kids are 'fast' these days and that you've been shocked about the things you've been hearing about younger teens-- has she heard the same thing? In other words, nothing about her daughter (or any other specific individuals) but get her thinking. Maybe drop what rules you have in your households (boys in the girl's room, for instance) and the wheels will begin turning in her mind...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m not crazy about it, but it is normal teen behavior. Abuse? Yes. Drugs or other illegal behavior? Yes. Consensual sex? MYOB.

Hope you enjoy being a grandparent, PP! Love how you "MYOB" re: teen sex. Really? No need to find out if it's safe sex? Consensual is your only concern?

OP, if I were the girl's parent I'd want to know. I have a teen DD and would want to know. Even if it wasn't fully true and maybe DD was making up brags to her friends. I'd want to know what was being said.

The "I don't want to betray my daughter" argument is real, but OP, is there truly no way on Earth you can tell the parent without "betraying" your DD? Do you think the parent is going to tell her DD the source, or does your own DD say her friend had only told her?

OP, if your DD were sexually active wouldn't you want to know so you could get her on birth control or talk to her about STDs or even, yes, explain why you wanted her to wait, if that were how you wanted to approach it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a moment to think about:

1) Why you only think girls are "promiscuous, " not boys

2) Why you think a girl engaging in sexual activity with one person is being "promiscuous" vs. just sexually active

3) Why you felt the need to yell in all caps about a teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

Not Op, but maybe Op is talking about the girl because she knows the girl's mother and this girl is friends with her daughter?

The girl is not even 15, yet, has only known this boy for a few months and they are going into her bedroom and shutting the door and apparently fooling around and even having sex.

It sounds like the girl's mom is already aware of what is going on but I wonder if the parents of this boy know that this happening.

Whatever label you want to give it, these kids are engaging in risky behavior right under this mother's nose which is pretty bad.

As a mom of a teen boy I would be very upset at the lack of parenting and judgement of this girl's mom and dad.

As the mother of a teenager and a pre-teen I am very upset at posters on DCUM who seem to believe that everybody should raise their kids according to my values and judgment.

Well, if you are the kind of parent who unilaterally decides that you want someone else's 14 year old child to be allowed to have sex in your home, then you deserve the judgement and scorn of others.

This goes for you deciding you would allow someone else's minor child to drink in your home.

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.