DO I TELL THE MOM HER DAUGHTER IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m not crazy about it, but it is normal teen behavior. Abuse? Yes. Drugs or other illegal behavior? [b]Yes. Consensual sex? MYOB.

She's 15. We don't know the age of the boy. This could be statutory rape. As a parent I would want to know

Yes have the boy arrested. :roll: maybe he says he was raped and the girl can be arrested also.

No one said have the boy arrested. It is statutory rape. Here's the Maryland law: https://www.ageofconsent.net/states/maryland. She cannot consent below age 16 in the state of Maryland. OP said the girl is under 14 and no age was given for the boy.

Well why did you bring it up? The only one who will get arrested will be the boy. They do not arrest girls for having sex with boys. So yes the boy will get arrested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

What century was that? Back in my HS in the 80s, my BF and I (UMC, both went to top 20 schools) "studied" in his room. We did study, but there was plenty of sexy time too. Parents home downstairs. Pretty common for our peer group.

Crappy, unfit parents existed in the 80s too

Unfit = no stick up their ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

What century was that? Back in my HS in the 80s, my BF and I (UMC, both went to top 20 schools) "studied" in his room. We did study, but there was plenty of sexy time too. Parents home downstairs. Pretty common for our peer group.

Same here, also in high school in the 1980s. Very common.

She's 14, probably just out of 8th grade. This happen in your junior high school, too? Not in my mid-80s junior high school.

No. The kids having sex in middle school (which wasn’t common) did it in the bathrooms at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I was around in the 80s and the popular kids all participated in a little "afternoon delight" in their homes.

Yep.

My kids weren't especially popular and weren't sexually active until well into their college years. They are intelligent, empathetic and well traveled.
So many of the cool kids from their HS are in serial rehabs or stuck with the group of high school friends that joined the same Greek clubs at State U, just like their parents.
Be careful what you wish for.

I posted earlier about having sex while “studying”. My peers and I were the popular nerds. Mostly top 20 schools. Lots of graduate/professional degrees. Very few live near our hometown. No rehab.

Smart <> prude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m not crazy about it, but it is normal teen behavior. Abuse? Yes. Drugs or other illegal behavior? Yes. Consensual sex? MYOB.

Hope you enjoy being a grandparent, PP! Love how you "MYOB" re: teen sex. Really? No need to find out if it's safe sex? Consensual is your only concern?

OP, if I were the girl's parent I'd want to know. I have a teen DD and would want to know. Even if it wasn't fully true and maybe DD was making up brags to her friends. I'd want to know what was being said.

The "I don't want to betray my daughter" argument is real, but OP, is there truly no way on Earth you can tell the parent without "betraying" your DD? Do you think the parent is going to tell her DD the source, or does your own DD say her friend had only told her?

OP, if your DD were sexually active wouldn't you want to know so you could get her on birth control or talk to her about STDs or even, yes, explain why you wanted her to wait, if that were how you wanted to approach it?

You do not need to find out if it’s safe sex. It’s none of your goddamn business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cast of characters here: OP, OP's daughter Larla, Larla's friend GeighGeigh, GeighGeigh's boyfriend Trueaux, GeighGeigh's parents Greg and Leigh.

Should OP tell Greg and Leigh that Larla told OP that GeighGeigh told Larla that GeighGeigh and Trueaux do sexual things together in GeighGeigh's room while Greg and Leigh are home?

No, OP should not.

OP didn't ask whether OP should TELL THE DAD HIS SON IS GETTING PROMISCUOUS, but the answer to that question is also: no.

Lol! GeighGeigh is DCUM official now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

Stand a chance of what? I know tons of people who were having sex at 14, and now they’re...wait for it...well-adjusted, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens who didn’t die of AIDS or become toothless parents of 6 by age 21. Your fear-mongering and pearl-clutching are risible and you should be embarrassed by your reactionary, sexist attitudes towards sex. I am certainly laughing at you.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

Stand a chance of what? I know tons of people who were having sex at 14, and now they’re...wait for it...well-adjusted, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens who didn’t die of AIDS or become toothless parents of 6 by age 21. Your fear-mongering and pearl-clutching are risible and you should be embarrassed by your reactionary, sexist attitudes towards sex. I am certainly laughing at you.

Your reaction to the PP was a bit over the top... someone certainly hit a nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

Stand a chance of what? I know tons of people who were having sex at 14, and now they’re...wait for it...well-adjusted, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens who didn’t die of AIDS or become toothless parents of 6 by age 21. Your fear-mongering and pearl-clutching are risible and you should be embarrassed by your reactionary, sexist attitudes towards sex. I am certainly laughing at you.

Right on. I’m laughing too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely, I would be very upset if I was the parent of that boy. His parents probably agree to allow him to visit his girlfriend at her parents' house because they know that adults will be there to supervise them. Eh, might as well give the kids the keys to a hotel room if the supervision is that lax.

If their boy having sex is something that would make them very upset they need to be the ones to reach out to the girl's parents and talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are going to condone this behavior for someone else's minor child, then you need to own it and let the parents know in advance. It is not your decision to make for other families.

If the parents of the boy care about their child having/not having sex and are knowingly sending their child to the girl's home but haven't had a conversation with the girl's parents than the boy's parents are the ones at fault for lazy parenting. It's not the job of the parents who don't care to double-check with the boyfriend's family that their home's policies are fine with the other family.

When I was a teen it was a given that parents would never allow this sort of thing in front of their own faces. Kids may have had sex but it was not right under their parent's noses. Ever.

I guess you can no longer take it for granted that parents will provide the most basic level of supervision in their homes. There are some completely worthless adults out there unfortunately. Their poor kids don't stand a chance...

Stand a chance of what? I know tons of people who were having sex at 14, and now they’re...wait for it...well-adjusted, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens who didn’t die of AIDS or become toothless parents of 6 by age 21. Your fear-mongering and pearl-clutching are risible and you should be embarrassed by your reactionary, sexist attitudes towards sex. I am certainly laughing at you.

Uh, not sexist at all. The rules applied across the board whether you were male or female. No parent that I knew at the time would have knowingly allowed a 14 year old boy into their daughter's bedroom and vice versa.

I'm not saying that kids didn't find a way to have sex or that kids didn't sneak their love interests into their bedrooms at night. But parents absolutely did not condone "in your face" antics like that.

Kids living under their parents' roof had standards to abide by. I think that served them well as they grew older and formed their own loving adult relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Uh, not sexist at all. The rules applied across the board whether you were male or female. No parent that I knew at the time would have knowingly allowed a 14 year old boy into their daughter's bedroom and vice versa.

I'm not saying that kids didn't find a way to have sex or that kids didn't sneak their love interests into their bedrooms at night. But parents absolutely did not condone "in your face" antics like that.

Kids living under their parents' roof had standards to abide by. I think that served them well as they grew older and formed their own loving adult relationships.

There were lots of parents you didn't know.

I distinctly remember being in a boy's bedroom when I was a 15-year-old girl, with the knowledge of both sets of parents. In the 1980s. My loving adult relationship is coming up on 29 years, and the boy's has gone on for over 20 years as well. So I think we're doing ok so far. Maybe it's because I was 15 instead of 14?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PROMISCIOUS YES ABSOLUTELY.

Sexually active with her boyfriend? No.

How the eff would you approach some mother about her teen daughter being a wh*re?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yep.

My kids weren't especially popular and weren't sexually active until well into their college years. They are intelligent, empathetic and well traveled.
So many of the cool kids from their HS are in serial rehabs or stuck with the group of high school friends that joined the same Greek clubs at State U, just like their parents.
Be careful what you wish for.

What do you mean by "stuck with"? Lifelong friends is the sign of a loser? Going Greek with friends from hometown at UVA or Tech -- or Big 10 or SEC or Big 12 -- is a sign of a loser? I know a lot of people like that and they're UMC to very rich, control legislature in our home state, execs, etc. Weird snark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PROMISCIOUS YES ABSOLUTELY.

Sexually active with her boyfriend? No.

How the eff would you approach some mother about her teen daughter being a wh*re?

How on earth did we get from "my daughter's friend is allowed to have her boyfriend in her room" to "my daughter's friend gets paid for sex work"?