Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has no one ever heard of labels? Grandma actually threw out peanut butter because the knife once touched wheat bread?

WAY over the top.

Educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

Op your kids aren't as picky as you think they are. Applegate nuggets. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS also has Celiac (and my DD has a nut allergy). No way would I ever require or even request that people vacationing with us be entirely gluten free (or nut free). This is absurd. It's not hard at all to ensure that the GF child gets GF snacks and meals that have not ben cross-contaminated. Really. It is not difficult at all. OP, I'm angry for you that your family is being so unreasonable!

+1, from another parent of a child with celiac. It's easy to accommodate. You don't have to have two gluten free kitchens. You don't even need one. Just make sure the gluten free family has what they need to cook - pans, toaster, etc. - and don't use those for gluten-containing foods. Your kids eating crackers in the kitchen are not going to make the celiac kid sick as long as they don't leave a tremendous mess.

For most simple meals - barbecued chicken, pasta, etc., we just eat gluten free. But there is no need to make everybody eat gluten free. The basic rule we follow is that we will eat whatever we want as long as there is a gluten free equivalent. So go ahead, eat hamburgers and hotdogs on regular buns - just make sure the kid who has celiac has gluten free buns.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like this diagnosis is new and this visit is the first- so people tend to over react until they figure out how things will work going forward. Add in a new baby and it is easy to be overwhelmed- both parents, two year old and grandparents. It is a bit like the commercial that shows the mother with the new first baby and then with the second. Things will calm down in the future. In the mean time, try to remember what it was like when you had your second newborn child and then how you would have reacted if your first child had been given a diagnosis at the same time.

Breakfast is easy as there are tons of regular cereals that are gluten free. Then, take your kids out for lunch or dinner if eating GF is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has no one ever heard of labels? Grandma actually threw out peanut butter because the knife once touched wheat bread?

WAY over the top.

Not really. The people with Celiac we know have their own butter dish, peanut butter jar,...... Cross contamination is a problem. It really depends onthe severity of the disease in the individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just send them an email saying "great! So glad you guys want the cabin. Now the main kitchen can be used for gluten foods. That's easier on grandma, don't you think?"

Passive aggressive. Don't do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send them an email saying "great! So glad you guys want the cabin. Now the main kitchen can be used for gluten foods. That's easier on grandma, don't you think?"

Passive aggressive. Don't do this.

+1 so passive aggressive.

I agree with a pp who encouraged empathy. This is an overwhelming time for even the 'best' parents. Explore gf options for your kids. Since your kids are older explain to them why they won't be getting their favorite pasta that week. Teach them empathy. Our three year old understood why we could ky have certain snacks in their preschool class due to another child's gluten reaction. Give it a try this year. If gf is really disturbing for your family ask to switch for next year or to keep the main house non gf.

Good luck, op. It may sound like a cliche, but it could be a good learning opportunity for your kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, please let us know how this trip goes. I am wishing you all the best.

It sounds like grandma's place is very isolated and hard to get to. Maybe in the future, you guys could vacation together at a place that has a kitchenette. If the different families have their own space and their own kitchens, this might make it easier on everybody. Just an idea for the future.

I'm of the camp that they are being a bit too difficult. I understand accommodating for the nephew, but there are two kitchens, and it's your vacation too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like this diagnosis is new and this visit is the first- so people tend to over react until they figure out how things will work going forward. Add in a new baby and it is easy to be overwhelmed- both parents, two year old and grandparents. It is a bit like the commercial that shows the mother with the new first baby and then with the second. Things will calm down in the future. In the mean time, try to remember what it was like when you had your second newborn child and then how you would have reacted if your first child had been given a diagnosis at the same time.

Breakfast is easy as there are tons of regular cereals that are gluten free. Then, take your kids out for lunch or dinner if eating GF is a problem.

This, exactly. OP sounds like she is looking for this to be a problem. Your life is easier right now, by a mile. Be helpful, and buy a different brand of nuggets for a week, seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has no one ever heard of labels? Grandma actually threw out peanut butter because the knife once touched wheat bread?

WAY over the top.

No. If it is No. If it is celiac disease, this is absolutely normal and correct.

OP, my niece has celiac disease. Yes, cross contamination with even a few specks of gluten is a serious concern. But, there are simple ways around it.

I also have a very picky eater. He would not eat gluten free bread or pasta. My guess is your children make those foods a big part of their diet.

So here's what you do. The main house kitchen is gluten free -- so they don't want you using the pots and pans, or the colander to strain pasta (BTW -- let your MIL know that she needs to buy a new collander for straining pasta -- there is no way to clean the holes well enough to remove all traces of gluten. Wooden cutting boards need to be replaced, too. Or use you can cover them with wax pr parchment paper)

I would suggest cooking up some of your kids favorite spaghetti, macaroni etc, and freezing it in individual portion ziplock bags. When the rest of the family is having gluten free pasta or mac and cheese, you can pour the sauce over your children's portions instead. You have to keep this out of the reach of your 2 year old nephew though. Heat the pasta in the microwave on disposable plates and use disposable forks and no one can complain.

Bring a loaf of your children's favorite bread for sandwiches. Use a spoon to scoop out the peanut butter and place it on a plate, THEN use a knife to spread the PB on the bread. or just bring one small jar each of PB and J. Prepare your lunch foods separately from the 2 year olds.

It is ONLY 5 days. With some pasta and bread they are familiar with your children ought to be able to deal with 5 days of no chicken nuggets, and only gluten free foods otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I would take this as an opportunity to eat heathier, OP.

Too much carbs are not good for people, and one reason there is so much sensitivity to gluten nowadays is that people eat too much bread products which have been processed in a way to increase gluten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - interesting how split the responses are. A few more details: the place is VERY remote - 4 hour drive from major airport, and we are flying/driving. So no hotels nearby, and no Whole Foods or Wegmans either - the GF substitutes will be the ones available at the Super Target 1.5 hours away.

So you have a plane ride, first, and then a 4 hour drive. I still think you can cook some pasta at home, freeze it in a big ziplock bag, put in a soft sided insulated cooler, and bring it with you. Make your children's favorite boxed mac and cheese, and freeze that as well. It will thaw in the cooler for 8 hours, put it in the fridge when you get there. With mac and cheese, spaghetti, and some aluminum foil you can feed your children food they are used to for a few meals (maybe when 2 year old is sleeping).

Kids can live 5 days without goldfish crackers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - yes, both kitchens are GF because grandma is in charge of the main one and she has already GF'ed it. PPs are right - you have to throw out butter, peanut butter, jelly, pretty much anything someone may have touched with a utensil that touched a gluten product. Now that that is done she doesn't want to undo it. The guest cabin is just a kitchenette with no food in it, so it isn't that it is GF, but it isn't available to us because BIL and SIL are staying there. I am going to try some of the GF products (bread, noodles, nuggets) on my kids this week in a blind test to see if we can slide by. Otherwise I will have to ask for some kind of accommodation.

Also, to the PPS saying my kids are too picky - I'm not the same PP who has said 'my kids would starve' at every list that has been provided, but seriously, they don't eat most of the stuff recommended. They eat yogurt, cheese, and tons of fruit, but aren't big on beans, meat (other than nuggets and hamburgers) or eggs. We can manage GF snacks no problem, but to keep them not seriously hungry for 5 days seems like a bigger challenge. At our house they eat a perfectly healthy and balanced diet so I've never worried about their pickiness.

Just out of curiosity what do they eat for protein? Other than the nuggets, you haven't mentioned anything with gluten.

I would look for subs that your kids like as much as possible, incorporate hamburgers into several meals, keep something they'll eat on the table every meal (e.g. Fruit salad) and then offer them a cheese sandwich in the room if they are still hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is your vacation too.
Now, I am sensitive to food issues as a mom of an allergy child myself, but it seems like your relatives are used to being parents of just 1 child, and all the "control" they can exert over their own child and home, and are just not thinking rationally about asking an entire extended family to eat their child's limited diet for an entire week.
Have they never eaten out? No preschool or daycare? No birthday parties? They never go to anyone else's home to visit?
I'm having a hard time seeing how an entire home, 2 kitchens, has to be wiped of any trace of gluten. It's not an airborne allergy.
They need to be parents and protect their child, and if that means part of their vacation is spent taking turns eating alone with him in he cabin, or playing outside with him while your kids eat, then that's parenting!
You can do your part as family by being meticulous in cleaning up the food, making your kids participating in storing food up and away, hand cleaning the floors and checking for particles, but you can't expect your kids on their vacation to not enjoy their normal foods as well

+1 Sanitizing and separating everything could be easily done if they were in a hotel room, by them selves, in Manhattan (or in a hospital). But at a remote cabin with other children? It sounds like a nightmare "vacation"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have celiac and it is not the same as a peanut allergy. Kids can be in the same room and they will not have a reaction. Celiac never causes anaphylaxis. It is not an allergy. They get one kitchen, you get the other. If they have a cow because you're kid is snacking on crackers, they can retreat to the other house.

+1. I also cannot eat wheat without becoming ill. Everyone use paper plates, throw utensils through the dishwasher and wipe down all the counters. Only allow eating in designated eating spaces, like dining room, and vacuum up crumbs. It's not that hard to avoid cross contamination if people are actually thinking about it.

You can do things like make hamburgers/hot dogs for everyone and have different bags of buns -- just don't put the buns on the grill. GF family does things like keep their own package of butter and jam in their place.

This doesn't mean that it won't create drama when you call them on it. Up to you to decide if that's worth it.

The other family has a baby and a 2 YEAR OLD. They are asking a lot for the whole family to sanitize everything for a gluten intolerance. Maybe their child is so sick that he should not be in a remote cabin?