Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandma's house. Grandma's decisions. Don't like it? Don't go.

Again, so OP can be the bad guy in this scenario.

Moms can't win.

You seem to be forgetting that WOMEN DON'T MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS, EVER. ***This is DH's family. He can make the phone call.***

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandma's house. Grandma's decisions. Don't like it? Don't go.

Again, so OP can be the bad guy in this scenario.

Moms can't win.

You seem to be forgetting that WOMEN DON'T MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS, EVER. ***This is DH's family. He can make the phone call.***

You think OP isn't going to be blamed by grandma for being the reason that she can't see her grandchildren if they end up not going? You think this its going to be put on DH? You must be living on a different planet. There are 26 pages of people feeling free to shame OP for any number of sins here (including the cardinal sin of feeding young children chicken nuggets). Of COURSE this would be put on the DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people on here still arguing about this like it wasn't resolved?

What page is the solution on, please? TIA.

Page 20.
OP attempted making her kids try GF chicken nuggets (which, BTW, taste like ass... but apparently OP only feeds her kids crap anyway) and grilled cheese on GF bread. Predictably, picky kid had a hissy fit, DH had a hissy fit, OP wrung her hands, DH called his mom and OP's kid survived on PB&J for the week.

OP attempted once for each food. Many (picky) children need more than one exposure to accept a new food.

It can take weeks or months for kids to learn to like a new food. Not a solution when this issue pops up a week or two before vacation.

If OP's kids will be spending a lot of time with this cousin, then it makes sense for them to find gluten free foods that work, but in the meantime a PB and J in mom's room is a reasonable solution, that everyone seems to have agreed upon.

[Anonymous]

Do OP's children not eat rice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do OP's children not eat rice?

Or corn tortillas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do OP's children not eat rice?

Or corn tortillas?

Ha. Op can come to my house because my DS only eats chicken nuggets, hot dogs and pizza!

[Anonymous]

I have a child who won't eat rice or corn tortillas. Tbh I don't like them either but of course would eat them in a pinch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow! This says a lot about you OP, than anyone else in the family. If one of my nieces and nephews had a dietary restriction, the whole extended family would be devastated and we would work around that.

I am sure the parents of the child with celiac are not starving their children. Your kids can eat the same kinds of foods too.

Devastated? Over a "dietary" restriction?

Here lies the problem. There are many things to be devastated about. A dietary restriction is not one of them.

The OP showed was open to suggestions and willing to be flexible. All of you piling on are either trolls or narcissists.

[Anonymous]

For those of you who don't bother to read, the OP has already figured things out with DH and his mom, so there's no need to continue this constant bickering between everyone on what to do.

Here is her post, which you can find on page 20, if you take the time to read:

OP here. The trip is next week. current status: after DC spit out the chicken nuggets, the next night we tried grilled cheese on gluten free bread which was a battle royale. As predicted, DH resisted owning up to this situation (his family dynamic is mom slips crazy stuff by people and no one makes waves) and instead yelled at the 4 year old for not eating it. He was really miffed at me for pushing him on this (again, he didn't want to make waves and I forced the issue), but he finally conceded that 5 days of DC not eating much would not go well, and he called his mom. I still do not know what the rules of the road are, but she called me to ask what brand of bread they like, so at a minimum we have pb&j as a backup, which is enough to get us through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! This says a lot about you OP, than anyone else in the family. If one of my nieces and nephews had a dietary restriction, the whole extended family would be devastated and we would work around that.

I am sure the parents of the child with celiac are not starving their children. Your kids can eat the same kinds of foods too.

Devastated? Over a "dietary" restriction?

Here lies the problem. There are many things to be devastated about. A dietary restriction is not one of them.

The OP showed was open to suggestions and willing to be flexible. All of you piling on are either trolls or narcissists.

NP. My nephew has a severe nut allergy. Through absolutely no fault of his own, or his parents (a careless moment with an informed grandparent was at fault), he's been in the ER and suffering from severe symptoms. And it sucks that a lot of holiday foods and fun foods are avoided or altered at family gatherings. Devastated is probably the wrong word. But yeah, you feel compassion for the little guy and his family, and you want to help and make life easier!

[Anonymous]

Where is OP with update !!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! This says a lot about you OP, than anyone else in the family. If one of my nieces and nephews had a dietary restriction, the whole extended family would be devastated and we would work around that.

I am sure the parents of the child with celiac are not starving their children. Your kids can eat the same kinds of foods too.

Devastated? Over a "dietary" restriction?

Here lies the problem. There are many things to be devastated about. A dietary restriction is not one of them.

The OP showed was open to suggestions and willing to be flexible. All of you piling on are either trolls or narcissists.

NP. My nephew has a severe nut allergy. Through absolutely no fault of his own, or his parents (a careless moment with an informed grandparent was at fault), he's been in the ER and suffering from severe symptoms. And it sucks that a lot of holiday foods and fun foods are avoided or altered at family gatherings. Devastated is probably the wrong word. But yeah, you feel compassion for the little guy and his family, and you want to help and make life easier!

#1 - A severe allergy is different then a food sensitivity. #2 - devastated is absolutely the wrong word, over the top and disproportionate.

The OP has shown a great deal of compassion for her nephew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who don't bother to read, the OP has already figured things out with DH and his mom, so there's no need to continue this constant bickering between everyone on what to do.

Here is her post, which you can find on page 20, if you take the time to read:

OP here. The trip is next week. current status: after DC spit out the chicken nuggets, the next night we tried grilled cheese on gluten free bread which was a battle royale. As predicted, DH resisted owning up to this situation (his family dynamic is mom slips crazy stuff by people and no one makes waves) and instead yelled at the 4 year old for not eating it. He was really miffed at me for pushing him on this (again, he didn't want to make waves and I forced the issue), but he finally conceded that 5 days of DC not eating much would not go well, and he called his mom. I still do not know what the rules of the road are, but she called me to ask what brand of bread they like, so at a minimum we have pb&j as a backup, which is enough to get us through it.

Good try PP but this was shared on page 25 and people are still bickering and asking why OP's kids won't eat tortillas or whatever, as if they know anything. Weird how people are refusing to let this one go.

[Anonymous]

OP here - greetings from well north of nowhere! I wasn't sure I should check back in but I guess there is enough interest that it is only fair, considering all the support I got (thanks guys!). If I wanted to write a spinoff it would be titled 'hungry and tired in the north woods.' It is day 3 and my kids have survived by eating a lot of snacks including all the GF junk food people keep giving them, the occasional piece of fruit or cheese stick, and a few clandestine turkey and pb/j sandwiches made on paper plates in our room and eaten down at the dock with a good hand washing thereafter (these were the rules of the road). So pushing DH to get that one allowance has really saved us, because they have refused to eat any of the GF options (again, thanks to those who helped me decide this was reasonable). Not that I can blame them. One fact I failed to mention is that MIL is a bad cook in the best of circumstances, so combine that with the GF restriction (no frozen garlic bread as a backup) and the poor shopping options (nearest decent market over an hour away), and let's just say I'm pretty hungry too (for ex. Barbecued chicken made with boneless skinless breasts = dried out shoe leather; frozen ribs, prepackaged with bbq sauce, cooked in oven = mush on the bone). She has been controlling the kitchen for every single meal, so there is no polite way for me to get in there and cook myself something decent, and not much in the way of ingredients anyway (I did pull off a few scrambled eggs yesterday thank goodness, but it isn't as if there is a farmers market nearby so I could offer to grill some veggies for everyone).

As for the tired part... Remember those who said BIL and SIL sounded selfish? I never chimed in on that - I would not have said so at the time, but guess who has been wandering into the main cabin at 6:30 am with baby and toddler every morning... I asked DH to ask them to give us until 7 at least, since it isn't as if they can't make the baby a bottle at the guest cabin.

All in all it has been not my idea of a good time, but you guys helped me at least keep my kids fed so many thanks. As far as the recent debate about skipping it, I would absolutely have been in huge trouble with the family for doing that, but I pulled my husband aside already and explained that this feels like prison to me, being told when I can sleep (when the party leaves the main cabin), when to wake up (when they arrive back), when and what I can eat, and none of it good, and that with as little vacation as I get I really don't want to do this again. That conversation didn't go so well but I can move that discussion over to the relationship forum

[Anonymous]

OP, I finally started telling my DH that he was responsible for taking the kids to see their grandparents and vacationing with their grandparents because I don't get much vacation and I don't feel like spending it running interference for our kids with his family. (They are a nightmare.)

When I stopped going, DH stopped going so much. If it isn't important enough for him to put in the work, I don't see why it is important enough for me to put in the work.