Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

[Anonymous]

OP,
Are you *sure* that the expectation is still that both kitchens are now gluten free?
Your post almost sounded like it was decided that the main kitchen was going to be gluten free when you thought your family was staying in the guest cottage, and now you are assuming it's still gluten free now that the gluten allergy family have claimed the guest cottage.
Have you double checked since you realized where your family is staying?
Maybe you could send an email to grandma and your husbands' family saying something like
"Excited to see everyone! DH mentioned that BIL family will be staying in the guest cottage, and we will be in the main house with Grandma. I hope you know if you ever need help with that beautiful newborn I would be glad to lend a hand, day or night! Also, we want to be cognizant of Nephews gluten restrictions, and am wondering if the gluten restriction in the main kitchen has been changed since you won't be staying there? I am trying to figure out the logistics of feeding my kids for the week, so please keep me in the loop of what I can expect."

It isn't perfect, obviously, but tries to convey the spirit of helpfulness and awareness, but also pointing out that there are 2 kitchen and you have a family to figure out a weeks worth of meals as well, and the 2 kitchen/change of house to guest house thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sounds miserable.

+1. I'm starting to want to skip the trip entirely -- and I'm not even OP.

Me 3.
There would be a strong voice in my head saying "I have to take a plane and car to a remote area, buy a weeks supply of food at Target 1.5 hours away to last a week, and now I have to make everything gluten free? This is no vacation.
This is like a bad reality TV cooking show crossed with wife swap or something. Where is the nearest hotel so I can try to squeeze some sort of vacation out of this scenario for me"

And then probably grit my teeth through the vacation and have a fit a year later when I hear they are totally relaxed in their house about it now because the father can't go without his Pop tarts or some shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sounds miserable.

+1. I'm starting to want to skip the trip entirely -- and I'm not even OP.

I'm actually trying to think of ways OP can get out of this entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Gluten free food doesn't have to be all "substitute" food. It's just simple food. What's the big deal about scrambled eggs and fruit and yogurt for breakfast, etc.? My kids eat like that a lot, with absolutely no food restrictions. We would not break stride over this.

Because not all kids eat that for breakfast. Mine would only eat the fruit. No scrambled eggs, no yogurt. There are two kitchens.

I think we all get that.

That being said, a) even most picky eaters aren't as picky a you kid appears to be & b)I'm guessing the grandparents, in particular, would appreciate it if everyone could eat at least a couple of meals together as a family.

I know kids pickier than mine. Mine will not eat potatoes, cheerios, yogurt, and 2/3 the things on your list. If your kids ate that, they were not picky. It isn't related to the food allergies. He would sit there for hours and refuse to eat. We did not travel for several years but that is not the option for OP. If the grandparents want everyone to eat together, then OP gets one kitchen and celiac family gets the other. Simple.

Well, that will come as a shock to the multiple specialists who were part of my kid's lengthy SED/ARFID treatment .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids won't starve for a week on GF food. My kids adore their cousins and know they will eat kosher and nut free when they visit each other.

Speak for your kids. Mine would. He will choose not to eat for days vs. eat something he does not want to (yes, we've tested it). Kosher and nut free is no big deal as you can still have pasta, bread and lots of other stuff.

If everything your child eats in a week must contain gluten, you have a bigger problem. Fruits, veggies, meat, eggs, nuts, and milk are naturally gf. Your kid's diet is a travesty.

My kid does not eat meat so most mains contain gluten. A child cannot live off fruits, veggies and milk for a week.

No, but there's eggs, soy, and nuts for protein. I'm raising a vegetarian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a GLUTEN issue -- not peanuts! The kid would have to lick the counter to be affected. So keep the kid out of ONE of the kitchens -- how hard is that?

I would lose my mind of I had to completely adjust my diet and my kids' diet just to accommodate a family that was staying IN ANOTHER HOUSE.

Gluten and peanuts are dangerous in very different ways. On one hand a celiac kid won't die from a trace exposure. On the other hand, most allergic kids who are exposed to peanuts recover pretty quickly with epi pens, whereas a celiac kid who is exposed to gluten can have weeks or months of symptoms, including failure to grow, and cognitive difficulties which can lead to developmental delays.

[Anonymous]

As a mom of a child with celiac, it is easier if the kitchen and house are gluten free, sure, but I don't expect that when I'm a guest in someone's house. It does require me to bring boxes of my own food, pots, drinks, etc. For example, you can't use the same butter that someone else stuck a knife in to butter their toast.

OP, if I were you I'd write a nice email as one of the PP's suggested. Convey how helpful you're willing to be, how much you're looking forward to seeing one. Then just ask whether both kitchens are being kept gluten free, because you're trying to plan food to feed your child. It does seem a little over the top to keep both kitchens gluten free.

If they say yes, both are gluten free, then I suggest some good gluten free substitutes for the items you like. I didn't read most of this thread so I don't know what kind of grocery stores you'll have nearby, but there's decent gluten free pizza, crackers, pretzels, bread, cakes, cookies, and many other things you can buy at many grocery stores. I've had good luck at giant and Safeway. Of course whole foods has a lot of gf options. So does Trader Joe. Look for Udis or glutino bread and bakery products, Vans gluten free waffles, Barilla gluten free pizza. Glutino makes good pretzels and cookies.

[Anonymous]

OP and her husband have the older kids. Let me just guess that they were accommodated for years--bigger beach house rooms, people traveling to them, people buying gifts for their kids. Well now it's time for you and your older/restriction free kids to be flexible and make life easier for OTHERS in your family, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a different take on it. It seems as though they picked the cabin because the new baby rather than the celiac issue. They may not want to disturb everyone with the night waking, crying and ability to have a quiet place for the baby to sleep.

Also did they demand everything be gf? Or is the grandma making that decision. My DS was diagnosed with celiac at 9 months. We thought it was cystic fibrosis or something much more severe. We don't keep a gf house or travel with dishes or anything like that. It was hard when he was 2 but not unmanageable. Is he newly diagnosed? They just may be nervous. I would just talk to your SIL and see what is up.

I think this is key. My grandmother and also my m-i-l are, from a personality standpoint, are generally anxious and over accommodating. They would latch on to the gluten free thing and run with it, even beyond reason, just to be "helpful" and busy. It's sweet, but it can also make things so much more complicated and fraught than they really need to be. Best to cut out the middle man. Your DH needs to man up and call his brother, he's a big boy.

[Anonymous]

OP here - yes, both kitchens are GF because grandma is in charge of the main one and she has already GF'ed it. PPs are right - you have to throw out butter, peanut butter, jelly, pretty much anything someone may have touched with a utensil that touched a gluten product. Now that that is done she doesn't want to undo it. The guest cabin is just a kitchenette with no food in it, so it isn't that it is GF, but it isn't available to us because BIL and SIL are staying there. I am going to try some of the GF products (bread, noodles, nuggets) on my kids this week in a blind test to see if we can slide by. Otherwise I will have to ask for some kind of accommodation.

Also, to the PPS saying my kids are too picky - I'm not the same PP who has said 'my kids would starve' at every list that has been provided, but seriously, they don't eat most of the stuff recommended. They eat yogurt, cheese, and tons of fruit, but aren't big on beans, meat (other than nuggets and hamburgers) or eggs. We can manage GF snacks no problem, but to keep them not seriously hungry for 5 days seems like a bigger challenge. At our house they eat a perfectly healthy and balanced diet so I've never worried about their pickiness.

[Anonymous]

If you're planning to try stuff from Target, they carry the Applegate line of frozen nuggets and tenders which are GF and pretty good. Barilla GF pasta is also a good one. As PPs have suggested, Amazon carries a lot of GF products as well as Target, so you could ship stuff directly if you don't want to have to drive to the store for all of it. There are also some good GF frozen pizzas - I like Sabatasso's which I usually pick up at Costco.

If you think your kids may be bothered by not having bread (and honestly most GF bread really isn't that good), would they eat rice?

When I'm not feeling full and craving carbs, these days I usually get a bowl of Cheerios or Chex - they each have at least 3 or 4 flavors that are now GF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow
Well if they want the guest cabin, that is where they eat, that is what stays gluten free. They cannot have it all.

I agree with this. So hard to avoid so many things, even corn.
Otherwise, hope you like quinoa in everything!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would be easier if YOUR kids weren't picky eaters, OP. My 3yo would eat any of the meals suggested earlier in this thread.

Chicken, corn on the cob, salad. Done.

For three meals a day, for days?

OP has already said her kids could do it for a few days... 5 is getting long and kids tend to get overtired on vacation and want familiar foods. I think it's normal to expect that they are going to be off already and may prefer at least a few meals with their preferred foods.

Read the thread. There are at least a week's worth of meals. Snacks are likewise easy. It's actually all more healthy stuff! Fruit and cheese. Veggies. Starchy vegetables for sides. Meats. Even popcorn and chips! Ice cream, Popsicles. NBD

Read the thread.

Two kitchens on the property in separate buildings, and sister in law wants one for herself and the shared on to both be gluten free.

She is the only one being unreasonable here.

[Anonymous]

My DS also has Celiac (and my DD has a nut allergy). No way would I ever require or even request that people vacationing with us be entirely gluten free (or nut free). This is absurd. It's not hard at all to ensure that the GF child gets GF snacks and meals that have not ben cross-contaminated. Really. It is not difficult at all. OP, I'm angry for you that your family is being so unreasonable!

[Anonymous]

Has no one ever heard of labels? Grandma actually threw out peanut butter because the knife once touched wheat bread?

WAY over the top.