Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

[Anonymous]

*Take this as your lesson PP!! ^^^ not op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people on here still arguing about this like it wasn't resolved?

What page is the solution on, please? TIA.

Page 20.
OP attempted making her kids try GF chicken nuggets (which, BTW, taste like ass... but apparently OP only feeds her kids crap anyway) and grilled cheese on GF bread. Predictably, picky kid had a hissy fit, DH had a hissy fit, OP wrung her hands, DH called his mom and OP's kid survived on PB&J for the week.

OP attempted once for each food. Many (picky) children need more than one exposure to accept a new food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really find the fact that there are TWO kitchens to be the deciding point here. OP never complained about ONE of the kitchens being GF.

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Yup

The problem is, apparently you both haven't read the entire thread. There are not two kitchens. There is a kitchen and a kitchenette. A kitchenette is not sufficient for either family to provide all the necessary meals. The solution that would be best for OP's needs is for her to have the smaller cabin where she can feed her kids all the gluten her picky kids apparently can't live without. This, of course, is pretty selfish considering the other family has a newborn and a younger child, but, hey, her picky kids' needs should rule, at least according to most of the ridiculous posts here. So, OP has to be in the big house, with a gluten free kitchen, and is adamant that a cooler of food or an alternative place to keep her gluten food is simply not adequate. She needs to win. Her picky kids' needs are more important than her nephew with celiac and the rest of her family.

Completely selfish. Also, it is very, very easy for kids to go a week without gluten and not even notice the difference. Yes, even the precious ones who can only tolerate chicken nuggets. They can't tell the difference between GF nuggets and the others. Unless you tell them. Which, of course, OP is doing.

(And before you ask, I'm not GF and love all the gluten. But I love my friends and family more and if they can't tolerate my food, I change. OP should take a lesson.)

Apparently another BIG problem is that YOU haven't read the entire thread. Take this as YOUR lesson op: Op has never once thrown a fit or said something wasn't adequate for her. She has only from the beginning to the end tried to ask for sensible solutions. She's never been an asshole and has even bought gf foods to provide for her kid. She is being more than accommodating for her family, husband, inlaws and the allergic kid as well as her own. She has never once been an asshole pp. are you sure you are on the right thread?

Yup.

The only one being a DICK here is the SIL/BIL for taking two "kitchens". OP really can't and won't say anything but the SIL is a being a selfish dick. I'm guessing it's not the first time.

[Anonymous]

What? I have celiac disease I can be around people eating gluten. It isn't an allergy being allergic to a cat. You will only get sick if you ingest foods with gluten. They're being ridiculous. It's a gluten allergy, not an airborne allergy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? I have celiac disease I can be around people eating gluten. It isn't an allergy being allergic to a cat. You will only get sick if you ingest foods with gluten. They're being ridiculous. It's a gluten allergy, not an airborne allergy.

Tell that to a 2-year-old who finds a cookie or a Goldfish cracker on the floor, or who wants to eat the same foods as his older cousins. Tell it to a 75yo grandma who just wants to make one dinner, not use 2 different cutting boards and sets of knives and on and on.

[Anonymous]

Wow! This says a lot about you OP, than anyone else in the family. If one of my nieces and nephews had a dietary restriction, the whole extended family would be devastated and we would work around that.

I am sure the parents of the child with celiac are not starving their children. Your kids can eat the same kinds of foods too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really find the fact that there are TWO kitchens to be the deciding point here. OP never complained about ONE of the kitchens being GF.

This
This
This

Yup

The problem is, apparently you both haven't read the entire thread. There are not two kitchens. There is a kitchen and a kitchenette. A kitchenette is not sufficient for either family to provide all the necessary meals. The solution that would be best for OP's needs is for her to have the smaller cabin where she can feed her kids all the gluten her picky kids apparently can't live without. This, of course, is pretty selfish considering the other family has a newborn and a younger child, but, hey, her picky kids' needs should rule, at least according to most of the ridiculous posts here. So, OP has to be in the big house, with a gluten free kitchen, and is adamant that a cooler of food or an alternative place to keep her gluten food is simply not adequate. She needs to win. Her picky kids' needs are more important than her nephew with celiac and the rest of her family.

Completely selfish. Also, it is very, very easy for kids to go a week without gluten and not even notice the difference. Yes, even the precious ones who can only tolerate chicken nuggets. They can't tell the difference between GF nuggets and the others. Unless you tell them. Which, of course, OP is doing.

(And before you ask, I'm not GF and love all the gluten. But I love my friends and family more and if they can't tolerate my food, I change. OP should take a lesson.)

Apparently another BIG problem is that YOU haven't read the entire thread. Take this as YOUR lesson op: Op has never once thrown a fit or said something wasn't adequate for her. She has only from the beginning to the end tried to ask for sensible solutions. She's never been an asshole and has even bought gf foods to provide for her kid. She is being more than accommodating for her family, husband, inlaws and the allergic kid as well as her own. She has never once been an asshole pp. are you sure you are on the right thread?

You need to work on that reading comprehension, PP. I never called OP an asshole and I didn't say she throw a fit. However, I strongly disagree with your assertion that she has been far more accommodating in her solutions. I find her solutions selfish and her willingness to compromise limited. We can disagree. That's fine on an internet discussion forum. There really is no need to get so upset about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really find the fact that there are TWO kitchens to be the deciding point here. OP never complained about ONE of the kitchens being GF.

This
This
This

Yup

The problem is, apparently you both haven't read the entire thread. There are not two kitchens. There is a kitchen and a kitchenette. A kitchenette is not sufficient for either family to provide all the necessary meals. The solution that would be best for OP's needs is for her to have the smaller cabin where she can feed her kids all the gluten her picky kids apparently can't live without. This, of course, is pretty selfish considering the other family has a newborn and a younger child, but, hey, her picky kids' needs should rule, at least according to most of the ridiculous posts here. So, OP has to be in the big house, with a gluten free kitchen, and is adamant that a cooler of food or an alternative place to keep her gluten food is simply not adequate. She needs to win. Her picky kids' needs are more important than her nephew with celiac and the rest of her family.
Completely selfish. Also, it is very, very easy for kids to go a week without gluten and not even notice the difference. Yes, even the precious ones who can only tolerate chicken nuggets. They can't tell the difference between GF nuggets and the others. Unless you tell them. Which, of course, OP is doing.

(And before you ask, I'm not GF and love all the gluten. But I love my friends and family more and if they can't tolerate my food, I change. OP should take a lesson.)

Apparently another BIG problem is that YOU haven't read the entire thread. Take this as YOUR lesson op: Op has never once thrown a fit or said something wasn't adequate for her. She has only from the beginning to the end tried to ask for sensible solutions. She's never been an asshole and has even bought gf foods to provide for her kid. She is being more than accommodating for her family, husband, inlaws and the allergic kid as well as her own. She has never once been an asshole pp. are you sure you are on the right thread?

You need to work on that reading comprehension, PP. I never called OP an asshole and I didn't say she throw a fit. However, I strongly disagree with your assertion that she has been far more accommodating in her solutions. I find her solutions selfish and her willingness to compromise limited. We can disagree. That's fine on an internet discussion forum. There really is no need to get so upset about this.

I have seen OP, herself, suggest 3 solutions.

1) Her family gets the cabin. (She seemed to withdraw this solution when it was clear that Grandma and the other family reasonably wanted the newborn there so as not to wake others)

2) Searching for gluten free foods her preschooler would eat, and ask that they be included. (She tried and was not successful).

3) Keeping glutinous bread and other foods in a room the toddler couldn't access. (This was the final solution).

I don't see how any of these are selfish solutions. Now, some other people on this thread have been ridiculous, and incredibly selfish on OP's behalf but OP herself does not seem selfish to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really find the fact that there are TWO kitchens to be the deciding point here. OP never complained about ONE of the kitchens being GF.

This
This
This

Yup

The problem is, apparently you both haven't read the entire thread. There are not two kitchens. There is a kitchen and a kitchenette. A kitchenette is not sufficient for either family to provide all the necessary meals. The solution that would be best for OP's needs is for her to have the smaller cabin where she can feed her kids all the gluten her picky kids apparently can't live without. This, of course, is pretty selfish considering the other family has a newborn and a younger child, but, hey, her picky kids' needs should rule, at least according to most of the ridiculous posts here. So, OP has to be in the big house, with a gluten free kitchen, and is adamant that a cooler of food or an alternative place to keep her gluten food is simply not adequate. She needs to win. Her picky kids' needs are more important than her nephew with celiac and the rest of her family.
Completely selfish. Also, it is very, very easy for kids to go a week without gluten and not even notice the difference. Yes, even the precious ones who can only tolerate chicken nuggets. They can't tell the difference between GF nuggets and the others. Unless you tell them. Which, of course, OP is doing.

(And before you ask, I'm not GF and love all the gluten. But I love my friends and family more and if they can't tolerate my food, I change. OP should take a lesson.)

Apparently another BIG problem is that YOU haven't read the entire thread. Take this as YOUR lesson op: Op has never once thrown a fit or said something wasn't adequate for her. She has only from the beginning to the end tried to ask for sensible solutions. She's never been an asshole and has even bought gf foods to provide for her kid. She is being more than accommodating for her family, husband, inlaws and the allergic kid as well as her own. She has never once been an asshole pp. are you sure you are on the right thread?

You need to work on that reading comprehension, PP. I never called OP an asshole and I didn't say she throw a fit. However, I strongly disagree with your assertion that she has been far more accommodating in her solutions. I find her solutions selfish and her willingness to compromise limited. We can disagree. That's fine on an internet discussion forum. There really is no need to get so upset about this.

I have seen OP, herself, suggest 3 solutions.

1) Her family gets the cabin. (She seemed to withdraw this solution when it was clear that Grandma and the other family reasonably wanted the newborn there so as not to wake others)

2) Searching for gluten free foods her preschooler would eat, and ask that they be included. (She tried and was not successful).

3) Keeping glutinous bread and other foods in a room the toddler couldn't access. (This was the final solution).

I don't see how any of these are selfish solutions. Now, some other people on this thread have been ridiculous, and incredibly selfish on OP's behalf but OP herself does not seem selfish to me.

1. This solution is selfish because it puts everyone else in the family out.

2. She told her kids this was different food, which of course they would reject. She should have just kept quiet and feed them the GF equivalents.

3. I did not see OP offer this, so if I'm mistaken, I apologize because this is a reasonable and unselfish solution.

So, we don't completely disagree. I think #3 is the best, most fair solution all around.

[Anonymous]

Most fair is unimportant. Grandma decides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really find the fact that there are TWO kitchens to be the deciding point here. OP never complained about ONE of the kitchens being GF.

This
This
This

Yup

The problem is, apparently you both haven't read the entire thread. There are not two kitchens. There is a kitchen and a kitchenette. A kitchenette is not sufficient for either family to provide all the necessary meals. The solution that would be best for OP's needs is for her to have the smaller cabin where she can feed her kids all the gluten her picky kids apparently can't live without. This, of course, is pretty selfish considering the other family has a newborn and a younger child, but, hey, her picky kids' needs should rule, at least according to most of the ridiculous posts here. So, OP has to be in the big house, with a gluten free kitchen, and is adamant that a cooler of food or an alternative place to keep her gluten food is simply not adequate. She needs to win. Her picky kids' needs are more important than her nephew with celiac and the rest of her family.
Completely selfish. Also, it is very, very easy for kids to go a week without gluten and not even notice the difference. Yes, even the precious ones who can only tolerate chicken nuggets. They can't tell the difference between GF nuggets and the others. Unless you tell them. Which, of course, OP is doing.

(And before you ask, I'm not GF and love all the gluten. But I love my friends and family more and if they can't tolerate my food, I change. OP should take a lesson.)

Apparently another BIG problem is that YOU haven't read the entire thread. Take this as YOUR lesson op: Op has never once thrown a fit or said something wasn't adequate for her. She has only from the beginning to the end tried to ask for sensible solutions. She's never been an asshole and has even bought gf foods to provide for her kid. She is being more than accommodating for her family, husband, inlaws and the allergic kid as well as her own. She has never once been an asshole pp. are you sure you are on the right thread?

You need to work on that reading comprehension, PP. I never called OP an asshole and I didn't say she throw a fit. However, I strongly disagree with your assertion that she has been far more accommodating in her solutions. I find her solutions selfish and her willingness to compromise limited. We can disagree. That's fine on an internet discussion forum. There really is no need to get so upset about this.

I have seen OP, herself, suggest 3 solutions.

1) Her family gets the cabin. (She seemed to withdraw this solution when it was clear that Grandma and the other family reasonably wanted the newborn there so as not to wake others)

2) Searching for gluten free foods her preschooler would eat, and ask that they be included. (She tried and was not successful).

3) Keeping glutinous bread and other foods in a room the toddler couldn't access. (This was the final solution).

I don't see how any of these are selfish solutions. Now, some other people on this thread have been ridiculous, and incredibly selfish on OP's behalf but OP herself does not seem selfish to me.

1. This solution is selfish because it puts everyone else in the family out.

2. She told her kids this was different food, which of course they would reject. She should have just kept quiet and feed them the GF equivalents.

3. I did not see OP offer this, so if I'm mistaken, I apologize because this is a reasonable and unselfish solution.

So, we don't completely disagree. I think #3 is the best, most fair solution all around.

1) In the OP, she clearly said that she thought they might get the cabin but once she realized the family with the baby wanted it she didn't continue to pursue it and was looking for other solutions. That's not selfish. People said that she should demand it, or announce she wasn't going, or insist that because they had the cabin they shouldn't get to feed their kid in the house. Those people were entitled assholes, but OP isn't the one who said any of those things.

2) How do you possibly know that?

3) She asked early on if that was a reasonable compromise and whether it would be fair to ask for it. When it became clear that the GF foods would be an issue, her husband called Grandma who agreed to the solution, which seems very reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Grandma's house. Grandma's decisions. Don't like it? Don't go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandma's house. Grandma's decisions. Don't like it? Don't go.

There is no way this is not the best option, given all the factors:
1) very isolated situation
2) highly highly (understandably) stressed family with newborn and new diagnosis in toddler, doubtlessly not as knowledgable about celiac as they will become, and also (understandably) stressed because of that
3) grandmother already investing a lot of time and effort into preparation for #2
4) picky eater kids, who -- like kids of every stripe -- will pick up on the tension

Just visit them both separately -- grandmother when she is not (understandabl) concerned about accommodations that side of the family with acute special needs, and the other family when you can stay in a hotel nearby their place so that they can be completely (understandably) in control of their own space (and you can have flexible time away, with or without food invovled, as needed).

I would so be backing away from that beehive of stress. Nobody needs to see my family at exactly that moment that much. We can all do better later.

PS: I find OP just a calm, sensible delight. I think you'll do fine, even if I wouldn't. Well done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandma's house. Grandma's decisions. Don't like it? Don't go.

Again, so OP can be the bad guy in this scenario.

Moms can't win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people on here still arguing about this like it wasn't resolved?

What page is the solution on, please? TIA.

Page 20.
OP attempted making her kids try GF chicken nuggets (which, BTW, taste like ass... but apparently OP only feeds her kids crap anyway) and grilled cheese on GF bread. Predictably, picky kid had a hissy fit, DH had a hissy fit, OP wrung her hands, DH called his mom and OP's kid survived on PB&J for the week.

OP attempted once for each food. Many (picky) children need more than one exposure to accept a new food.

Stop feeding fake food. Feed real food that just doesn't have gluten. It is astonishing to me that so many people don't know how to do this.