Someone lied about a position DS had - she got in, DS didn't. Appropriate to tell school?

[Anonymous]

The saying "karma's a bi$&h," goes both ways...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's completely appropriate to tell the school. It's already been decided that the son is going to another college, so he's not doing it with the hope he'll be reconsidered.

What harm would come to the son if he notifies the college and includes a copy of the screen shot along with a copy of something that documents he actually holds the position? He's NOT going to that school.

I'm glad the son told the teacher and I do hope they tell the counselor too. I'm a little afraid the teacher may take the myob approach.

I'm very much a live and let live person, but this is NOT a mind your own business situation! People ignoring these egregious lies does no one any good - not the son, not the girl, not society!

I truly doubt they would even consider looking into the matter considering he's submitting a screenshot from a website--which is completely unrelated to the application they received. If he submitted a copy of the falsified part of the application, that would be a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The girl lied on her application. That is resume fraud on the first adult thing she is responsible for, and a clear honor code violation. It is a form of plagiarism. Check out how schools respond to that. It is not for OPs son the straighten this situation out.

Not "Plagiarism" but this is certainly an honor code violation at almost any private school. Kids are supposed to (and are honor bound) to report stuff like this, and allow the school to act.

The young man's mother says that the young lady has dishonestly misrepresented his activity title and position as hers.

If this is the case, then the young lady has -- at the very least -- lied on her online, personal website resume (though no one - except perhaps her college advisor - knows whether she also submitted that false representation on her college applications).

The young lady may have also violated her high school's honor code. Thus, the young man is doing exactly what he should do. He is reporting the lie to the school that they both attend as a violation of that school's honor code. If it is indeed a violation of the school's honor code, then the school will act accordingly and discipline the young lady in question. If it does not quite rise to the level of a violation of the school's honor code, then the school will still meet with the young woman and her parents, inform her that they are aware of the misrepresentation (i.e., "the lie"), require her to apologize to the student whose accomplishments she assumed with her lie, and demand that she correct the lie on her resume on the personal website.

In either case, the discipline or admonishment from her school will serve the purpose of hitting home for her the seriousness of lying on one's resume and of possibly violating the school's honor code.

If the school's college counselor reviewed her common application submissions and essays, and knows for a fact that the young woman also made the same misrepresentation on her college applications, then the high school can decide whether or not to contact the universities - or require the young woman to do so - to set the record straight.

The young man has decided on the right course of action in this case, since he does not know with certainty whether the young woman made any misrepresentation on her college application.

This is the better approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's completely appropriate to tell the school. It's already been decided that the son is going to another college, so he's not doing it with the hope he'll be reconsidered.

What harm would come to the son if he notifies the college and includes a copy of the screen shot along with a copy of something that documents he actually holds the position? He's NOT going to that school.

I'm glad the son told the teacher and I do hope they tell the counselor too. I'm a little afraid the teacher may take the myob approach.

I'm very much a live and let live person, but this is NOT a mind your own business situation! People ignoring these egregious lies does no one any good - not the son, not the girl, not society!

I truly doubt they would even consider looking into the matter considering he's submitting a screenshot from a website--which is completely unrelated to the application they received. If he submitted a copy of the falsified part of the application, that would be a different story.

Which is why OP went through the school instead of directly contacting the colleges? The high school can easily find out if her application lists the position.

[Anonymous]

I think 50 people claimed to be president of the debate club at my W-high school....

[Anonymous]

UM you sound super helicopter OP -- get a life

[Anonymous]

DS got accepted in UMD and Villanova.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in college admissions for several years, and sadly, this sort of thing (reportings of assumed improprieties by admitted students) happens often. In many cases we simply shook our heads at how cut throat college admissions had become and how terribly jealous and vindictive rejected families can be. This after double checking many, many reportings that proved to be false. The whistleblower reported what they thought was the case but ended up being wrong. It is possible that the student did NOT claim that leadership position on the college app although it was on her personal website. She may have crafted the resume under the assumption the position would be hers before it was filled by your son then simply forgot about it. Really, how often do adults update their resumes? Now imagine being a HS student in the throes of college admissions. We actually had a parent report that an admitted student's parent had been arrested!!! It makes the rejected student look bad and reaffirms the belief that the correct student was rejected. The decision rests with OP, but my school has never rescinded an offer based on a report. If she'd altered transcripts, SAT scores, forged teacher recs that's one thing. Exaggerating in an essay (we're much more interested in gleaning personality and writing ability) or in the activity section was no deal breaker. We know kids make up stories about volunteering and helping old people cross the street. Whatever. We were much more interested in the numbers as a base line. Everything else was gravy.

Also, one AD handles all the apps from the son's school. If they didn't catch or care about the doubly claimed position, I doubt it will matter.

OP this is the reason I would be careful. She sounds all reasonable, but what she is really saying is that the school does not want to admit that they do not really fact check." ...they have in the past and it was a waste of time ...."

Former admissions officer again. I was actually going to make this point in my initial post. Always be careful when asking someone to reconsider a decision they have made. Admissions prides themselves on the time and care with which applications are considered. Unless the admitted student's deception was so egregious there's no way an AD could've known it (ex: the forged transcript, altered SAT scores, etc--which are nearly impossible to fake, as they are sent directly from agencies), they are unlikely to say, "Oh, I shoulda caught that!" because that would mean admitting to being asleep at the wheel.

That said, we would've been willing to admit it if the deceptive information had a huge impact on the outcome. A slight exaggeration in the activities or essay section, as I said before, is unlikely to change anything. (We all knew every single kid didn't walk away from that missions trip with a greater appreciation for what they have--if they actually went on the trip...didn't care. And we often doubted the claim that they went home and donated all of their clothes and sold their electronics to donate to the poor afterward. However, we got an idea of what values the child thought they should have at 18, their personalities, and again, writing ability.)

Again, it's OP's decision, which it sounds like she has made, but please prepare yourself for the possibility nothing may happen as a result of DS's reporting.

Rarely does someone piss me off to this point, but former admissions counselor, congratulations - you've accomplished just that. Let me take you through your points one by one:

1) You say you all shake your heads at how cutthroat the process has become, as though you are not part of the problem. Do you think these kids WANT to work the equivalent of two full-time jobs, what with classwork, homework, expected charitable work, expected extra curriculars and excel at it all? They do it to try to impress YOU and your school's ridiculous expectations.

2) Your mentioning of other folks being jealous and vindictive is neither here nor there, and in fact, comes of as a dig at the OP and her son, who are absolutely correct in their outrage at this girl's blatant lie. To additionally say "how many people forget to update their resume....excuse me? This was no accident and she should not have claimed to have won a position that she hasn't - even if she think she was probably expecting it, which, by the way, is pretty narcissistic. This is more akin to the stolen valor that we've seen by some politicians. No matter how you look at it, it's wrong

3) The fact that you tolerate kids making up stories about volunteering? Good to know. I'm sure parents who have spent thousands of dollars to ensure their kid jumped through that required college admissions hoop appreciates the fact that if a student lies about their trip, it's of no never mind to admissions directors. What values a kid THINKS they should have is easily faked. I'm glad we didn't push these kinds of trips on our kids, and instead, taught them to be kind and thoughtful on an everyday basis. You admissions people might not consider that a big fat checkmark, but we parents sleep better at night knowing we raised genuinely kind-hearted kids.

4) Learning a kid has lied about an award, in fact stealing that award from someone else, SHOULD matter to admissions director. The fact that an admissions director wouldn't react because it means 'they were asleep at the wheel' tells me that the admissions director needs a new job. And were I that person's supervisor, that person would be gone from my employ. I have news for you; lying should have a huge impact on the outcome. Character matters.

5) As for your comment "prepare yourself for nothing happening". That may be so. The OP's child cannot control what others will do with the information he provides. But make no mistake - something WILL happen. OP's son will walk away with a sense of honor, knowing he did the right thing. And will also know that his parents will be very proud of him. Again - character matters. And OP's son seems to have a whole heap of it. Congratulations, OP. You've done good. Your son is turning into a fine man.

[Anonymous]

I'm beginning to feel very good about my political positions, after reading this thread.

And I'm also beginning to see just why this country is in the state its in.

Scary how many people shrug their shoulders at an obvious lack of morals.

[Anonymous]

Have you son write the AD and sign his name or MYOB

[Anonymous]

The high school should be interested in knowing. He should have a confidential conversation with his counselor (and only his counselor) If the counselor is discreet and a professional, it will then be in their hands. Our high school would be interested. Fraud would be taken very seriously. The school might very well make a phone call to the college - and then, of course, the college decides. Anyway, you son should consider that. I'm sure high school counselors have dealt with this before - some calling-out in the heat of the moment, some for not-so-good-intentions. You son runs a bit of a risk - again we all hope school personnel are professionals.

[Anonymous]

19:55 again ~ Mom, of course if you say ONE WORD to anyone in the community, YOU become a problem for your son

[Anonymous]

Hi, OP again. Another update - the school is informed but my son has no idea if they will end up contacting the colleges.

Several more people have approached my son with proof other lies or stolen positions on her resume. He is going to update administration about these tomorrow. It's beginning to look doubtful that any of it is truthful.

All of the colleges involved are highly selective and one (Stanford) was recently in trouble for a cheating scandal. I really hope they do not ignore this information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:55 again ~ Mom, of course if you say ONE WORD to anyone in the community, YOU become a problem for your son

The only person I'm talking to about this is my son. I just give him advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP again. Another update - the school is informed but my son has no idea if they will end up contacting the colleges.

Several more people have approached my son with proof other lies or stolen positions on her resume. He is going to update administration about these tomorrow. It's beginning to look doubtful that any of it is truthful.

All of the colleges involved are highly selective and one (Stanford) was recently in trouble for a cheating scandal. I really hope they do not ignore this information.

At the small private school my DC attends, the college advisors know the seniors very well. The advisors review the background information prepared for the common app, as well as the personal essays at least once. That review process would certainly identify discrepancies like saying you were the Class President, when actually you were the Class Secretary; or saying that you were the school newspaper's EIC, when you were actually a Section Editor.

I suppose that a student could change their submissions after review, and the college advisor would never know. And perhaps the counselors cannot catch those exaggerations or lies related to extracurricular, outside-of-school activities.

It sounds like the OP's son and several his classmates are currently focused on bringing the young woman to justice. I would advise all of the students to take a step back (and certainly to avoid a vigilante, take-it-into-our-own-hands-style justice) as they still do not know what the young woman in question did or did not represent to those universities on her applications.

The best course of action remains to take all of the collected information to an advisor, teacher, or administrator at the school, and have them handle the issue -- they are, after all, professionals well-experienced in dealing with students, universities, and potentially dynamic and volatile situations.

(I think it would make for an interesting social science experiment for some senior to create a fictitious resume, and post it after the admissions decisions come out. Then see what, if anything, happens. A current "punk'd" for the highly competitive, highly stressed high school set.)