Reply to Someone lied about a position DS had - she got in, DS didn't. Appropriate to tell school?

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Reply to "Someone lied about a position DS had - she got in, DS didn't. Appropriate to tell school?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I worked in college admissions for several years, and sadly, this sort of thing (reportings of assumed improprieties by admitted students) happens often. In many cases [b]we simply shook our heads at how cut throat college admissions had become and how terribly jealous and vindictive rejected families can be.[/b] This after double checking many, many reportings that proved to be false. The whistleblower reported what they thought was the case but ended up being wrong. It is possible that the student did NOT claim that leadership position on the college app although it was on her personal website. She may have crafted the resume under the assumption the position would be hers before it was filled by your son then simply forgot about it. Really, how often do adults update their resumes? Now imagine being a HS student in the throes of college admissions. We actually had a parent report that an admitted student's parent had been arrested!!! It makes the rejected student look bad and reaffirms the belief that the correct student was rejected. The decision rests with OP, but my school has never rescinded an offer based on a report. If she'd altered transcripts, SAT scores, forged teacher recs that's one thing. Exaggerating in an essay (we're much more interested in gleaning personality and writing ability) or in the activity section was no deal breaker. We know kids make up stories about volunteering and helping old people cross the street. Whatever. We were much more interested in the numbers as a base line. Everything else was gravy.

Also, one AD handles all the apps from the son's school. If they didn't catch or care about the doubly claimed position, I doubt it will matter.[/quote]

OP this is the reason I would be careful. She sounds all reasonable, but [b]what she is really saying is that the school does not want to admit that they do not really fact check.[/b]" ...they have in the past and it was a waste of time ...."[/quote]

Former admissions officer again. I was actually going to make this point in my initial post. Always be careful when asking someone to reconsider a decision they have made. Admissions prides themselves on the time and care with which applications are considered. Unless the admitted student's deception was so egregious there's no way an AD could've known it (ex: the forged transcript, altered SAT scores, etc--which are nearly impossible to fake, as they are sent directly from agencies), they are unlikely to say, "Oh, I shoulda caught that!" because that would mean admitting to being asleep at the wheel.

That said, we would've been willing to admit it if the deceptive information had a huge impact on the outcome. A slight exaggeration in the activities or essay section, as I said before, is unlikely to change anything. (We all knew every single kid didn't walk away from that missions trip with a greater appreciation for what they have--if they actually went on the trip...didn't care. And we often doubted the claim that they went home and donated all of their clothes and sold their electronics to donate to the poor afterward. However, we got an idea of what values the child thought they should have at 18, their personalities, and again, writing ability.)

Again, it's OP's decision, which it sounds like she has made, but please prepare yourself for the possibility nothing may happen as a result of DS's reporting.

[/quote]

Rarely does someone piss me off to this point, but former admissions counselor, congratulations - you've accomplished just that. Let me take you through your points one by one:

1) You say you all shake your heads at how cutthroat the process has become, as though you are not part of the problem. Do you think these kids WANT to work the equivalent of two full-time jobs, what with classwork, homework, expected charitable work, expected extra curriculars and excel at it all? They do it to try to impress YOU and your school's ridiculous expectations.

2)  Your mentioning of other folks being jealous and vindictive is neither here nor there, and in fact, comes of as a dig at the OP and her son, who are absolutely correct in their outrage at this girl's blatant lie. To additionally say "how many people forget to update their resume....excuse me? This was no accident and she should not have claimed to have won a position that she hasn't - even if she think she was probably expecting it, which, by the way, is pretty narcissistic. This is more akin to the stolen valor that we've seen by some politicians. No matter how you look at it, it's wrong

3) The fact that you tolerate kids making up stories about volunteering? Good to know. I'm sure parents who have spent thousands of dollars to ensure their kid jumped through that required college admissions hoop appreciates the fact that if a student lies about their trip, it's of no never mind to admissions directors.  What values a kid THINKS they should have is easily faked. I'm glad we didn't push these kinds of trips on our kids, and instead, taught them to be kind and thoughtful on an everyday basis. You admissions people might not consider that a big fat checkmark, but we parents sleep better at night knowing we raised genuinely kind-hearted kids.

4) Learning a kid has lied about an award, in fact stealing that award from someone else, SHOULD matter to admissions director.  The fact that an admissions director wouldn't react because it means 'they were asleep at the wheel' tells me that the admissions director needs a new job. And were I that person's supervisor, that person would be gone from my employ. I have news for you; lying should have a huge impact on the outcome. Character matters.

5) As for your comment "prepare yourself for nothing happening". That may be so. The OP's child cannot control what others will do with the information he provides. But make no mistake - something WILL happen. OP's son will walk away with a sense of honor, knowing he did the right thing. And will also know that his parents will be very proud of him.  Again - character matters. And OP's son seems to have a whole heap of it. Congratulations, OP. You've done good. Your son is turning into a fine man.[/quote]

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