Someone lied about a position DS had - she got in, DS didn't. Appropriate to tell school?

[Anonymous]

A girl was admitted to a school my son was rejected to. She has a personal website with a resume on it and on it she lists that she has a fairly substantial leadership position that is actually my son's. The resume is also filled with, likely, other lies and exaggerations (my son knows her pretty well and can tell that some of them are made up, but has no proof for anything other than that leadership position). He came to me asking for advice and showed me the resume, but I don't know what to do.

The school is not his first choice and he is not upset about his rejection. He was already committed to his first choice. He is, however, upset to see a liar get away with it and to see the benefit of an elite school education wasted on this girl.

[Anonymous]

Are you out of your mind? Of course you shouldn't tell the school. Psycho....

[Anonymous]

Um, no.

[Anonymous]

I understand you upset because your son got rejection. It is not your job to report to the school. It is the school's job to find out whether applicant is lied.

[Anonymous]

Neither you nor your DS know what materials she submitted to the school. Don't be an ass.

[Anonymous]

Okay I was not expecting so much vitriol. I was just asking...I never thought someone would lie.

[Anonymous]

There was only a little bit of vitriol, particularly for DCUM. Just let it go. She'll get hers eventually.

[Anonymous]

I am a Catholic, but I still believe in a rule of karma. If this girl is a liar, then her day will eventually come.

However, if your son upsets the balance in her life, then one day someone will equally upset his.

If you really feel that you must intervene, then here is a more mature (and less karma upsetting) solution.

Have your son approach his classmate and politely say, "I read your resume on the website, and you appear to have mistakenly and in error listed X position as one you hold when, in fact, you and I both know that I hold X position. I would appreciate it if you would change your mistake."

He might follow up, as guidance, "employers sometimes let people go who include such mistakes on their resumes." She will get the message loud and clear, but your son won't be responsible for having her admissions rescinded (which he might feel guilty about in the long run).

[Anonymous]

Eh, since we're anonymous - I'll admit that I would probably send an anonymous email or letter to the school alerting them of her lies. I wouldn't point out that my son actually held the positions, and my goal wouldn't be getting my son into the school. But I just have an overactive "righteous" reaction and it would eat me up thinking they might not be aware of her lies. I'd have to send the letter and let them decide to research/act on it or not.

And I'd feel smug if she got her acceptance rescinded.

I know, I'm a bad person. But it is the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Have your son approach his classmate and politely say, "I read your resume on the website, and you appear to have mistakenly and in error listed X position as one you hold when, in fact, you and I both know that I hold X position. I would appreciate it if you would change your mistake."

He might follow up, as guidance, "employers sometimes let people go who include such mistakes on their resumes." She will get the message loud and clear, but your son won't be responsible for having her admissions rescinded (which he might feel guilty about in the long run).

LOLllll get serious. Say those words out loud and imagine a 17 year old boy saying them to a classmate. He would be a mockery of the school.

[Anonymous]

Shocker your son learned people lie/embellish by cyber-stalking another student.

[Anonymous]

My adult self says he should tell the student that he knows about the lies on her resume. Ask her to correct or remove the document from the website. Then, let it go. Even if she doesn't remove it.

However, when I was 18 I would have been way more angry and vindictive about it and may have notified the university. My guess is that the university isn't going to pay attention to some random letter complaining about a recently accepted applicant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A girl was admitted to a school my son was rejected to. She has a personal website with a resume on it and on it she lists that she has a fairly substantial leadership position that is actually my son's. The resume is also filled with, likely, other lies and exaggerations (my son knows her pretty well and can tell that some of them are made up, but has no proof for anything other than that leadership position). He came to me asking for advice and showed me the resume, but I don't know what to do.

The school is not his first choice and he is not upset about his rejection. He was already committed to his first choice. He is, however, upset to see a liar get away with it and to see the benefit of an elite school education wasted on this girl.

Yes, and I'll tell you why. Honesty counts. Especially when that title belongs to your son. You need to show your son that you will defend him in these situations. Even if it goes nowhere, your son will respect you for it. It sets a great example as well.

A number of kids are cheating these days, doing what this girl is doing or checking off a box that gives them a racial advantage, even of they are not of that race but it can't be proven (think Hispanic or Native American - it's not like they look for documentation).

For all of you who are saying otherwise....I'm surprised at so many who have no sense of morality. Very disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, since we're anonymous - I'll admit that I would probably send an anonymous email or letter to the school alerting them of her lies. I wouldn't point out that my son actually held the positions, and my goal wouldn't be getting my son into the school. But I just have an overactive "righteous" reaction and it would eat me up thinking they might not be aware of her lies. I'd have to send the letter and let them decide to research/act on it or not.

And I'd feel smug if she got her acceptance rescinded.

I know, I'm a bad person. But it is the truth.

That's not being a bad person. Isn't it sad that you on on the absolute right side of the truth and you feel badly about it? Don't. I have a hell of a lot of respect for you now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocker your son learned people lie/embellish by cyber-stalking another student.

Cyberstalking? Website are made to be read. Unless you are cyberstalking dcum right now