Someone lied about a position DS had - she got in, DS didn't. Appropriate to tell school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A girl was admitted to a school my son was rejected to. She has a personal website with a resume on it and on it she lists that she has a fairly substantial leadership position that is actually my son's. The resume is also filled with, likely, other lies and exaggerations (my son knows her pretty well and can tell that some of them are made up, but has no proof for anything other than that leadership position). He came to me asking for advice and showed me the resume, but I don't know what to do.

The school is not his first choice and he is not upset about his rejection. He was already committed to his first choice. He is, however, upset to see a liar get away with it and to see the benefit of an elite school education wasted on this girl.

You should also report it to the high school.

[Anonymous]

It is no different from Brian Williams. 3 weeks ago we were all up in arms - but for this girl it is OK?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A girl was admitted to a school my son was rejected to. She has a personal website with a resume on it and on it she lists that she has a fairly substantial leadership position that is actually my son's. The resume is also filled with, likely, other lies and exaggerations (my son knows her pretty well and can tell that some of them are made up, but has no proof for anything other than that leadership position). He came to me asking for advice and showed me the resume, but I don't know what to do.

The school is not his first choice and he is not upset about his rejection. He was already committed to his first choice. He is, however, upset to see a liar get away with it and to see the benefit of an elite school education wasted on this girl.

Yes, and I'll tell you why. Honesty counts. Especially when that title belongs to your son. You need to show your son that you will defend him in these situations. Even if it goes nowhere, your son will respect you for it. It sets a great example as well.

A number of kids are cheating these days, doing what this girl is doing or checking off a box that gives them a racial advantage, even of they are not of that race but it can't be proven (think Hispanic or Native American - it's not like they look for documentation).

For all of you who are saying otherwise....I'm surprised at so many who have no sense of morality. Very disturbing.

I don't think it denotes a lack of morality. Some people aren't comfortable with vigilante justice and don't find it to be their place to be both judge and jury in a situation like this. Even if OP is correct, who does it really benefit for her to "tell"? If this girl's MO is to lie, cheat, and exaggerate, her actions will eventually catch up to her.

[Anonymous]

Anon letter by snail mail to AD. let the school decide. Leave your son's name out of it. Honor code is a BIG deal in some schools. probably won't result in much -- but she should not have lied. some other, more deserving student may have been rejected in favor of this girls deceit. Ignore the haters and do what is right. waitlist movement.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you'd be wrong to contact the school, and I understand why you'd want to. I just don't know if anything would come of it. I might just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Catholic, but I still believe in a rule of karma. If this girl is a liar, then her day will eventually come.

However, if your son upsets the balance in her life, then one day someone will equally upset his.

If you really feel that you must intervene, then here is a more mature (and less karma upsetting) solution.

Have your son approach his classmate and politely say, "I read your resume on the website, and you appear to have mistakenly and in error listed X position as one you hold when, in fact, you and I both know that I hold X position. I would appreciate it if you would change your mistake."

He might follow up, as guidance, "employers sometimes let people go who include such mistakes on their resumes." She will get the message loud and clear, but your son won't be responsible for having her admissions rescinded (which he might feel guilty about in the long run).

I suggested this approach.

Yes, I do think that a high school senior, going off to an elite (or really any) university next year, should be mature enough to approach another individual person-to-person to discuss an issue that they might have with them. Believe me, if he takes her aside and to task, she will be mortified by having her transgression caught, and she won't be telling anyone else in the class about it. (By the time he was in eighth grade, I had already told my son that if he had an issue with scheduling, grades, conflicts, commitments, then it was his responsibility to contact the other individual directly (or by email) to sort it out -- not mine.)

My problem with going to the college anonymously is two-fold. First, it teaches your son that handling problems through anonymous emails, or messages, is a good approach, which it generally is not. Second, it reflects badly on future applicants from your school. First, because the school's applicants seemingly exaggerate their credentials and qualifications. And second, because the school's students (and they will know this came from a classmate) are the type to undercut each other anonymously. The university will, like me, ask themselves why your school's students do not possess the maturity to handle this personally amongst themselves.

Finally, whenever I am thinking of doing something which causes me to question my own judgment, I turn to one if my sisters to ask WWYD? If you and your son really think that it is a good idea to anonymously contact a university to report another student's transgression, then why not have your son ask a trusted advisor or counselor at his school WWYD? If he cannot even bring himself to do so (discuss the plan with a counselor), then he probably should not bring himself to do so (anonymously report it to the college).

[Anonymous]

Why, OP? You made you the college police?

Don't be petty and just move on. If it is on her Facebook page, you aren't the only person who read her lies.

[Anonymous]

How do you know this information was given to the school she was admitted to? Would you think about letting the school know if this wasn't a school your child applied to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know this information was given to the school she was admitted to? Would you think about letting the school know if this wasn't a school your child applied to?

She claimed to hold a position OP's son holds. I can see why she wants to do something.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if all the people calling OP a "psycho", "petty", etc. are terrified that their child's lies will be exposed.

[Anonymous]

People lie in the real world all of the time. It's a good lesson for your son. Don't tell the school. It will come out eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People lie in the real world all of the time. It's a good lesson for your son. Don't tell the school. It will come out eventually.

And what message does that send to the girl? You can lie and get away with it?

If everyone has that attitude the lies would never come out.

[Anonymous]

I'd send a anonymous letter to the school. Liars shouldn't be rewarded.

[Anonymous]

Admissions offers can be rescinded.

[Anonymous]

Have your write/sign the letter to the college with a copy to girl or let it go. I don't like liars or cowards.