Someone lied about a position DS had - she got in, DS didn't. Appropriate to tell school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in college admissions for several years, and sadly, this sort of thing (reportings of assumed improprieties by admitted students) happens often. In many cases we simply shook our heads at how cut throat college admissions had become and how terribly jealous and vindictive rejected families can be. This after double checking many, many reportings that proved to be false. The whistleblower reported what they thought was the case but ended up being wrong. It is possible that the student did NOT claim that leadership position on the college app although it was on her personal website. She may have crafted the resume under the assumption the position would be hers before it was filled by your son then simply forgot about it. Really, how often do adults update their resumes? Now imagine being a HS student in the throes of college admissions. We actually had a parent report that an admitted student's parent had been arrested!!! It makes the rejected student look bad and reaffirms the belief that the correct student was rejected. The decision rests with OP, but my school has never rescinded an offer based on a report. If she'd altered transcripts, SAT scores, forged teacher recs that's one thing. Exaggerating in an essay (we're much more interested in gleaning personality and writing ability) or in the activity section was no deal breaker. We know kids make up stories about volunteering and helping old people cross the street. Whatever. We were much more interested in the numbers as a base line. Everything else was gravy.

Also, one AD handles all the apps from the son's school. If they didn't catch or care about the doubly claimed position, I doubt it will matter.

Not surprised to read this.

In fact, I'm amazed how many pp's thought this would be such a big deal to thes school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP again. He has already screenshotted it.

He is going to talk to the teacher involved with the position who can back him up. They will probably end up going to her counselor and letting her know about the falsified resume. From there he will let the high school decide whether to contact the colleges she has been accepted to.

And again, he is not upset that he didn't get in. As I said before, he is committed to his first choice. Nor does he think that this made a difference with respect to the decisions.

What he IS upset about is that she is getting away with lying. He has a strong sense of justice and does not like the amount of rampant cheating that goes on in his high school, and that everyone gets away with it. He complains about it frequently.

Of course your DS is upset he got rejected and this other girl got accepted.

Kids aren't good at this kind of thing or dealing with their emotions. He is very disappointed but instead of being able yo express that or own up to it, he instead has created this issue to channel his disappointment. Personally, I would tell my kid they need to let it go, that being rejected by the school was hard, it's ok to be disappointed and it can take some time for the feelings to die down.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would have you and your son contact the faculty/staff supervisor for the activity to which this girl stole the title from your son. Do they attend the same school? I would think most activities have a faculty advisor -- and let that person handle it. I would expect the girl to change her online resume immediately.

I would think your son's school has some honor code right now? If so, would this violate the school's honor code and could the girl be punished?

[Anonymous]

OP, I think your son is doing the right thing.

What the girl did was wrong. We don't know if she put the falsified position on her college application, but we do know that she put it on her personal website. That itself is wrong, and she should remedy it because that goes beyond puffery into outright lying. I would hope that her teacher or counselor talking to her would, at the very least, make her think twice before wrongly claiming credit in the future. Learning that lesson now could be good for HER - it might help her be more honest at least in some respects, which is a good trait to have. Because you don't know if she included it on her college application, I wouldn't contact the college directly, and I think talking to her high school authorities is the best course.

And, I understand getting upset when someone takes credit. If your son did the work for the position, it is understandable that he would not want that hard work to be diminished in this fashion.

[Anonymous]

her online resume doesn't go to the school, and her actual application is filtered through the school. That doesn't mean anyone screened it and it is possible, even probable, that she lied there too, but you just don't know. And your DS' is being driven by resentment that he didn't get in. Even if she had not gotten in, he would not have either.

The most you can do is tell the school college guidance office, but I don;t see how you do that without coming off as petty. Your DS should walk away.

[Anonymous]

Don't be a tattle tale. Tattle tales are girls.

[Anonymous]

One leadership position isn't enough for admissions to accept a student. I assume YOUR son listed that position and he didn't get in, right? Maybe she had higher stats(GPA,test scores) or desired a different major or wrote a better essay describing herself?? The college admission process is a pressure cooker, I would let it go. Tell him to enjoy his senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP again. He has already screenshotted it.

He is going to talk to the teacher involved with the position who can back him up. They will probably end up going to her counselor and letting her know about the falsified resume. From there he will let the high school decide whether to contact the colleges she has been accepted to.

And again, he is not upset that he didn't get in. As I said before, he is committed to his first choice. Nor does he think that this made a difference with respect to the decisions.

What he IS upset about is that she is getting away with lying. He has a strong sense of justice and does not like the amount of rampant cheating that goes on in his high school, and that everyone gets away with it. He complains about it frequently.

Wow, really. I would have told my son he was looking at a PERSONAL webpage and she can say anything she wants there. The admissions process to University/College and school transcripts used during the acceptance process are different from someones PERSONAL webpage. Son, you need to let go of this, worry about yourself and what you do.

Do you really want people to perceive you as some stalker trolling websites "telling on" people when you feel their statements are inaccurate. Should she then choose to post how you and your Mommy tried to effect her college acceptance by filing a complaint about her PERSONAL website with the high school which, has no authority to restrain her freedom of speech online? That could make the global community perceive you in a negative light and it will be there forever. I'll tell you this right now son, your mother doesn't care, be a man, you going to college next year.

My dear son the internet is full of lies I'm a little worried about you if you think everything on it is the truth, it is an open forum. As far the cheating you perceive at school just remember they are only cheating themselves out of knowledge. Knowledge will be your success. Worry about yourself.

Anyway, your parenting is really different than mine. Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what position the girl said she had. If she said she was President of her Class, or President of a National Club, when someone else was clearly named as having that position, AD might not take that well. It is another version of lying about references. If it was just a club -- like Glee Club and everyone was an "officer" that would be different. Blaming it on the boy who noticed it is out of line, but I still would want to report anon.
We had a situation where there was substantial cheating, cheaters were turned in, now attend another school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in college admissions for several years, and sadly, this sort of thing (reportings of assumed improprieties by admitted students) happens often. In many cases we simply shook our heads at how cut throat college admissions had become and how terribly jealous and vindictive rejected families can be. This after double checking many, many reportings that proved to be false. The whistleblower reported what they thought was the case but ended up being wrong. It is possible that the student did NOT claim that leadership position on the college app although it was on her personal website. She may have crafted the resume under the assumption the position would be hers before it was filled by your son then simply forgot about it. Really, how often do adults update their resumes? Now imagine being a HS student in the throes of college admissions. We actually had a parent report that an admitted student's parent had been arrested!!! It makes the rejected student look bad and reaffirms the belief that the correct student was rejected. The decision rests with OP, but my school has never rescinded an offer based on a report. If she'd altered transcripts, SAT scores, forged teacher recs that's one thing. Exaggerating in an essay (we're much more interested in gleaning personality and writing ability) or in the activity section was no deal breaker. We know kids make up stories about volunteering and helping old people cross the street. Whatever. We were much more interested in the numbers as a base line. Everything else was gravy.

Also, one AD handles all the apps from the son's school. If they didn't catch or care about the doubly claimed position, I doubt it will matter.

OP this is the reason I would be careful. She sounds all reasonable, but what she is really saying is that the school does not want to admit that they do not really fact check." ...they have in the past and it was a waste of time ...."

[Anonymous]

I would only consider telling the kids' HS and only because IF she did "embellish" her application and it comes out later, it could have an effect on the HS's relationship with the college/university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in college admissions for several years, and sadly, this sort of thing (reportings of assumed improprieties by admitted students) happens often. In many cases we simply shook our heads at how cut throat college admissions had become and how terribly jealous and vindictive rejected families can be. This after double checking many, many reportings that proved to be false. The whistleblower reported what they thought was the case but ended up being wrong. It is possible that the student did NOT claim that leadership position on the college app although it was on her personal website. She may have crafted the resume under the assumption the position would be hers before it was filled by your son then simply forgot about it. Really, how often do adults update their resumes? Now imagine being a HS student in the throes of college admissions. We actually had a parent report that an admitted student's parent had been arrested!!! It makes the rejected student look bad and reaffirms the belief that the correct student was rejected. The decision rests with OP, but my school has never rescinded an offer based on a report. If she'd altered transcripts, SAT scores, forged teacher recs that's one thing. Exaggerating in an essay (we're much more interested in gleaning personality and writing ability) or in the activity section was no deal breaker. We know kids make up stories about volunteering and helping old people cross the street. Whatever. We were much more interested in the numbers as a base line. Everything else was gravy.

Also, one AD handles all the apps from the son's school. If they didn't catch or care about the doubly claimed position, I doubt it will matter.

OP this is the reason I would be careful. She sounds all reasonable, but what she is really saying is that the school does not want to admit that they do not really fact check." ...they have in the past and it was a waste of time ...."

Former admissions officer again. I was actually going to make this point in my initial post. Always be careful when asking someone to reconsider a decision they have made. Admissions prides themselves on the time and care with which applications are considered. Unless the admitted student's deception was so egregious there's no way an AD could've known it (ex: the forged transcript, altered SAT scores, etc--which are nearly impossible to fake, as they are sent directly from agencies), they are unlikely to say, "Oh, I shoulda caught that!" because that would mean admitting to being asleep at the wheel.

That said, we would've been willing to admit it if the deceptive information had a huge impact on the outcome. A slight exaggeration in the activities or essay section, as I said before, is unlikely to change anything. (We all knew every single kid didn't walk away from that missions trip with a greater appreciation for what they have--if they actually went on the trip...didn't care. And we often doubted the claim that they went home and donated all of their clothes and sold their electronics to donate to the poor afterward. However, we got an idea of what values the child thought they should have at 18, their personalities, and again, writing ability.)

Again, it's OP's decision, which it sounds like she has made, but please prepare yourself for the possibility nothing may happen as a result of DS's reporting.

[Anonymous]

It's just shady, OP. You/ your son are making a stink over something he saw on Facebook. Don't, just don't. You have NO CLUE what she submitted to the school. Butt out.

[Anonymous]

Mind yo business!

[Anonymous]

I think it's completely appropriate to tell the school. It's already been decided that the son is going to another college, so he's not doing it with the hope he'll be reconsidered.

What harm would come to the son if he notifies the college and includes a copy of the screen shot along with a copy of something that documents he actually holds the position? He's NOT going to that school.

I'm glad the son told the teacher and I do hope they tell the counselor too. I'm a little afraid the teacher may take the myob approach.

I'm very much a live and let live person, but this is NOT a mind your own business situation! People ignoring these egregious lies does no one any good - not the son, not the girl, not society!