How do I tell the foodie hosting me I'm a very picky eater?

[Anonymous]

A foodie: A person who has no actual interests or hobbies.

[Anonymous]

On this one, you're both wrong. You have got to learn how to get by in the real world, but she shouldn't notice and comment on what you're eating. She shouldn't be having a dinner with the intent of "making you eat stuff". You're an annoying guest, but if I generally enjoy your company, I will invite you and just ignore you sitting there eating bread and water.

[Anonymous]

The worst are people like the OP. Its time to grow up. You do not have a right to impose your childish food taste on others. Why do you think you have the right to kill the fun of everyone else. Go eat your bowl of gruel some where else.

[Anonymous]

So OP you going to hang around a foodie as your friend. What a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst are people like the OP. Its time to grow up. You do not have a right to impose your childish food taste on others. Why do you think you have the right to kill the fun of everyone else. Go eat your bowl of gruel some where else.

Really? Is OP the worst? You've led a charmed life.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP. What's shakin'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On this one, you're both wrong. You have got to learn how to get by in the real world, but she shouldn't notice and comment on what you're eating. She shouldn't be having a dinner with the intent of "making you eat stuff". You're an annoying guest, but if I generally enjoy your company, I will invite you and just ignore you sitting there eating bread and water.

OP -- why not turn down dinner, invite her out to coffee (order yourself a juice box) and just be honest about it and say that you love her company (if you do) but you guys will never share the same preferences in food and you don't want her to put herself out to host dinner parties for you and your family when you guys don't eat that kind of food, as you know how much work such parties take. You can say that you'd love to get together with her for coffee, dinners out, or events and you value her friendship. If someone was actually my friend, I wouldn't be so offended by this that I would never see them again. If anything I'd feel glad that I didn't continue to waste my effort on a friend who wasn't interested in my food and would instead just make reservations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, what is up with people calling OP unrefined, immature and the like? If OP genuinely can't eat even mildly spicy food or else have a reaction, how is that OP's fault?? And unrefined? As if eating certain foods makes you refined? What a joke.

OP, if you were my good friend, I would like to know your restrictions and would try to serve a few items that you could eat.

I don't know about you, but I've never referred to mole or any sauce as "liquid shit."

That puts OP squarely in the unrefined, immature camp.

I hope she declines this invitation.

And I think she's exaggerating about her friend's interest in what others eat just to make herself sound sympathetic. There's no way someone paying that close of attention would be OP's friend if they really love food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP -- water and tortilla chips? You really couldn't bring yourself to try anything else on the menu?

Yours is more than a food preference or aversion, it's an illness. Adults learn to broaden their palette and try new things.

I HAVE tried new things. I just don't like a lot of them. The first time I ate strawberries with vinegar on them I (didn't know about the vinegar and) thought they'd gone horribly rotten. When I was in Mexico I tried chicken mole even though it looked like liquid shit on top of chicken. It tasted fine. I had an Indian roommate and tried her food numerous times and always wound up gulping tons of water. I was once given a complementary glass of OJ at a restaurant. When I took a sip it tasted wrong and mentioned it to the friend I was brunching with - she tasted it and laughed at me - it had champagne in it. I tried quinoa (didn't like it), some pasta dish my sister made (it would have been okay without the white sauce) - I try things regularly.

You are incredibly immature. The way you describe traditional Mexican mole sause says all we need to know about you.

How old are you? Because if I did not know better from the context of the exchange, I would honestly put you at 13.

Agree. I bet OP likes mac & cheese, hot dogs and chicken nuggets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez, what is up with people calling OP unrefined, immature and the like? If OP genuinely can't eat even mildly spicy food or else have a reaction, how is that OP's fault?? And unrefined? As if eating certain foods makes you refined? What a joke.

OP, if you were my good friend, I would like to know your restrictions and would try to serve a few items that you could eat.

I have to agree with this. When you grow up with undiagnosed food intolerances / allergies, it tends to make you a VERY picky eater. I know so many people like this, myself included. As a kid, the only words you have are "I don't like it". That gets you labels like "picky", "high maintenance", "immature". I felt so much shame but no one really understood that I wasn't just trying to be a pain in the ass. It is not an easy way to live, as the OP knows. Nobody relishes being "picky".

OP, if you haven't ever worked with a nutritionist or had allergy testing, I would highly recommend it.

But as for the dinner party-- I would just go ahead and decline. If the host is going to be constantly monitoring and commenting on your food choices, that just sounds stressful for everyone involved.

Uh no, please don't make unsubstantiated claims regarding food intolerances. I grew up with undiagnosed Celiac. I ate almost anything. I would take a pass on pasta if given a choice because it made me so sick. But as a kid, I was often served pasta for dinner and ate it anyway. To this day, I will eat anything provided it is gluten free. So your statement is a broad generalization.

If one has any class, you have a couple of bites of food you don't like because we live in a society with others. The social rule is to be a gracious guest.

Of course it's a broad generalization. I never said otherwise. My point is that it's not so simple as being immature or high maintenance. It's not an "unsubstantiated claim"-- I am relating my experience and the experience of MANY people that I know. It wasn't yours, and that's great for you, but surely you are not so close-minded that you think your experience is universal?

[Anonymous]

Pretty major point here that no one has brought up - OP says this:
"[I] know you're supposed to mention any dietary restrictions when you RSVP."

I don't think this is the case at all, unless you are specifically asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty major point here that no one has brought up - OP says this:
"[I] know you're supposed to mention any dietary restrictions when you RSVP."

I don't think this is the case at all, unless you are specifically asked.

I think you do mention it. I have no idea if it's the etiquette or not, but I'd rather have the 2 seconds of embarrassment of saying that I don't consume pork or alcohol (Muslim) than to not say a word and find that the main entrée is ham. Believe me I would have no problem just eating the sides if that were to happen, but it makes the host uncomfortable or embarrassed or sometimes they feel they quickly have to scrounge up something else. Much easier to say it and then the host sticks to beef, chicken, fish etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty major point here that no one has brought up - OP says this:
"[I] know you're supposed to mention any dietary restrictions when you RSVP."

I don't think this is the case at all, unless you are specifically asked.

I think you do mention it. I have no idea if it's the etiquette or not, but I'd rather have the 2 seconds of embarrassment of saying that I don't consume pork or alcohol (Muslim) than to not say a word and find that the main entrée is ham. Believe me I would have no problem just eating the sides if that were to happen, but it makes the host uncomfortable or embarrassed or sometimes they feel they quickly have to scrounge up something else. Much easier to say it and then the host sticks to beef, chicken, fish etc.

NP here - you mention it if you have a serious allergy, or maybe if you have a religious concern. Personally, though I come from a Muslim background and don't eat pork, most people either (1) know this (most people who know me, or know Muslims/Jews, know they don't eat pork) or (2) I work around it at meal time, and just avoid pork dishes. Unless I'm going to get seriously sick or die, it's my problem to deal with.

Mentioning mere "dislikes" to a host is absurd. If food issues prevent someone from normal eating with others, then they need to deal with that on their own and not expect others to accommodate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty major point here that no one has brought up - OP says this:
"[I] know you're supposed to mention any dietary restrictions when you RSVP."

I don't think this is the case at all, unless you are specifically asked.

I think you do mention it. I have no idea if it's the etiquette or not, but I'd rather have the 2 seconds of embarrassment of saying that I don't consume pork or alcohol (Muslim) than to not say a word and find that the main entrée is ham. Believe me I would have no problem just eating the sides if that were to happen, but it makes the host uncomfortable or embarrassed or sometimes they feel they quickly have to scrounge up something else. Much easier to say it and then the host sticks to beef, chicken, fish etc.

NP here - you mention it if you have a serious allergy, or maybe if you have a religious concern. Personally, though I come from a Muslim background and don't eat pork, most people either (1) know this (most people who know me, or know Muslims/Jews, know they don't eat pork) or (2) I work around it at meal time, and just avoid pork dishes. Unless I'm going to get seriously sick or die, it's my problem to deal with.

Mentioning mere "dislikes" to a host is absurd. If food issues prevent someone from normal eating with others, then they need to deal with that on their own and not expect others to accommodate you.

I agree you don't mention dislikes. As for pork -- I'm a Muslim who mentions it, mostly because not everyone knows I'm Muslim; I don't have a real traditional name, I don't pray 5 times a day etc. -- so there are new-ish friends who don't realize that I'm Muslim. Like I said above, I have ZERO problem with eating other things and just not eating the pork, but if it is the kind of thing where the main course is ham with various sides, I do know some hosts feel bad that they made ham, when they easily could have done beef, chicken etc. It's just easier to prevent that awkwardness and the "no no it's totally fine, I have plenty to eat" by being awkward for 2 seconds up front and mentioning it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst are people like the OP. Its time to grow up. You do not have a right to impose your childish food taste on others. Why do you think you have the right to kill the fun of everyone else. Go eat your bowl of gruel some where else.

How is OP imposing OP's food taste on others? The question is, should OP accept or decline an invitation from somebody who apparently wants to make the OP eat food that the OP doesn't want to eat? If anybody is trying to impose their food taste on others, it's the foodie host of the party, on OP.