How do I tell the foodie hosting me I'm a very picky eater?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an extreme picky eater too and the one time I posted about it here, I got so many "troll" or "suck it up" replies, I'm afraid you'll get no helpful replies.
If it were a close friend, I'd explain the situation and see if we came up a plan together. If not, I would just politely decline or arrange to go to a restaurant (of the other person's choice) instead.

This is not a "situation" this is extreme preferences that you really don't have the right to impose on someone else.

You know, I've really come to the conclusion that one of the perks of being an adult is that I never have to eat something that I'm forced to eat ever again. If I want Captain Crunch for dinner, dammit, I'm going to eat that for dinner! And I'm not going to force myself to eat food just to please someone else. When I host a dinner, I always ask if there are any restrictions or preferences - no one wants to be caught unaware. There is nothing wrong with catering to your guests' needs. I don't eat meat, haven't for almost 30 years. That's my choice, and never would I eat it just to please someone. And it's also my choice to make sure that if I'm serving guests, they eat what they want. In this case, OP isn't asking the hostess to change an entire party's menu. It's just two families. She's an adult, and she doesn't have to eat goat tongue if she doesn't want to, and she owes no one an explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an extreme picky eater too and the one time I posted about it here, I got so many "troll" or "suck it up" replies, I'm afraid you'll get no helpful replies.
If it were a close friend, I'd explain the situation and see if we came up a plan together. If not, I would just politely decline or arrange to go to a restaurant (of the other person's choice) instead.

This is not a "situation" this is extreme preferences that you really don't have the right to impose on someone else.

You know, I've really come to the conclusion that one of the perks of being an adult is that I never have to eat something that I'm forced to eat ever again. If I want Captain Crunch for dinner, dammit, I'm going to eat that for dinner! And I'm not going to force myself to eat food just to please someone else. When I host a dinner, I always ask if there are any restrictions or preferences - no one wants to be caught unaware. There is nothing wrong with catering to your guests' needs. I don't eat meat, haven't for almost 30 years. That's my choice, and never would I eat it just to please someone. And it's also my choice to make sure that if I'm serving guests, they eat what they want. In this case, OP isn't asking the hostess to change an entire party's menu. It's just two families. She's an adult, and she doesn't have to eat goat tongue if she doesn't want to, and she owes no one an explanation.

+1 I don't eat pork or drink alcohol and have no issue with declining either when at someone's home. Eat whatever you want - or not - without feeling guilty or bad about it as posters seem to be doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an extreme picky eater too and the one time I posted about it here, I got so many "troll" or "suck it up" replies, I'm afraid you'll get no helpful replies.
If it were a close friend, I'd explain the situation and see if we came up a plan together. If not, I would just politely decline or arrange to go to a restaurant (of the other person's choice) instead.

This is not a "situation" this is extreme preferences that you really don't have the right to impose on someone else.

You know, I've really come to the conclusion that one of the perks of being an adult is that I never have to eat something that I'm forced to eat ever again. If I want Captain Crunch for dinner, dammit, I'm going to eat that for dinner! And I'm not going to force myself to eat food just to please someone else. When I host a dinner, I always ask if there are any restrictions or preferences - no one wants to be caught unaware. There is nothing wrong with catering to your guests' needs. I don't eat meat, haven't for almost 30 years. That's my choice, and never would I eat it just to please someone. And it's also my choice to make sure that if I'm serving guests, they eat what they want. In this case, OP isn't asking the hostess to change an entire party's menu. It's just two families. She's an adult, and she doesn't have to eat goat tongue if she doesn't want to, and she owes no one an explanation.

But you are not eating captain crunch at your house -- you are at someone else's house. While as an adult you can eat whatever you please, as an adult you should have enough judgement to be able to discern that a long list of "preferences" imposed upon a host may be just a bit inconsiderate, not to mention off-putting. But you continue to be defensive about it, see how that works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an extreme picky eater too and the one time I posted about it here, I got so many "troll" or "suck it up" replies, I'm afraid you'll get no helpful replies.
If it were a close friend, I'd explain the situation and see if we came up a plan together. If not, I would just politely decline or arrange to go to a restaurant (of the other person's choice) instead.

This is not a "situation" this is extreme preferences that you really don't have the right to impose on someone else.

You know, I've really come to the conclusion that one of the perks of being an adult is that I never have to eat something that I'm forced to eat ever again. If I want Captain Crunch for dinner, dammit, I'm going to eat that for dinner! And I'm not going to force myself to eat food just to please someone else. When I host a dinner, I always ask if there are any restrictions or preferences - no one wants to be caught unaware. There is nothing wrong with catering to your guests' needs. I don't eat meat, haven't for almost 30 years. That's my choice, and never would I eat it just to please someone. And it's also my choice to make sure that if I'm serving guests, they eat what they want. In this case, OP isn't asking the hostess to change an entire party's menu. It's just two families. She's an adult, and she doesn't have to eat goat tongue if she doesn't want to, and she owes no one an explanation.

+1 I don't eat pork or drink alcohol and have no issue with declining either when at someone's home. Eat whatever you want - or not - without feeling guilty or bad about it as posters seem to be doing.

Which is fine, but OP did not have a 2-3 things she does not eat, she had a looong list of no-no's. The list of things she does it was 2-3 things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an extreme picky eater too and the one time I posted about it here, I got so many "troll" or "suck it up" replies, I'm afraid you'll get no helpful replies.
If it were a close friend, I'd explain the situation and see if we came up a plan together. If not, I would just politely decline or arrange to go to a restaurant (of the other person's choice) instead.

This is not a "situation" this is extreme preferences that you really don't have the right to impose on someone else.

You know, I've really come to the conclusion that one of the perks of being an adult is that I never have to eat something that I'm forced to eat ever again. If I want Captain Crunch for dinner, dammit, I'm going to eat that for dinner! And I'm not going to force myself to eat food just to please someone else. When I host a dinner, I always ask if there are any restrictions or preferences - no one wants to be caught unaware. There is nothing wrong with catering to your guests' needs. I don't eat meat, haven't for almost 30 years. That's my choice, and never would I eat it just to please someone. And it's also my choice to make sure that if I'm serving guests, they eat what they want. In this case, OP isn't asking the hostess to change an entire party's menu. It's just two families. She's an adult, and she doesn't have to eat goat tongue if she doesn't want to, and she owes no one an explanation.

But you are not eating captain crunch at your house -- you are at someone else's house. While as an adult you can eat whatever you please, as an adult you should have enough judgement to be able to discern that a long list of "preferences" imposed upon a host may be just a bit inconsiderate, not to mention off-putting. But you continue to be defensive about it, see how that works.

I'm not defensive. I'm celebrating the fact that I'm an adult and don't "have" to eat anything I don't want to! As an adult, you can also say that it's highly inconsiderate to force food on someone who doesn't want to eat it. So as hosts, we have a responsibility to serve what our guests would eat and not force our preferences on our guests, and as guests, we have a responsibility to be up front about things if we simply can't or choose not to eat certain things. I don't eat meat, but I serve it, as an example.

This OP has made other suggestions, such as hosting the family at her house or eating out, so she's not being rude and never seeing them. It's not rude to say, "you know Linda, I love coming over but I'm such a simple eater, and I know you're such an adventurous eater, I'm not sure I would be the right audience for your efforts." Why should she have to go choke down something that then gives no one any satisfaction?

Seriously, as adults, we really are in control of what we eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an extreme picky eater too and the one time I posted about it here, I got so many "troll" or "suck it up" replies, I'm afraid you'll get no helpful replies.
If it were a close friend, I'd explain the situation and see if we came up a plan together. If not, I would just politely decline or arrange to go to a restaurant (of the other person's choice) instead.

This is not a "situation" this is extreme preferences that you really don't have the right to impose on someone else.

You know, I've really come to the conclusion that one of the perks of being an adult is that I never have to eat something that I'm forced to eat ever again. If I want Captain Crunch for dinner, dammit, I'm going to eat that for dinner! And I'm not going to force myself to eat food just to please someone else. When I host a dinner, I always ask if there are any restrictions or preferences - no one wants to be caught unaware. There is nothing wrong with catering to your guests' needs. I don't eat meat, haven't for almost 30 years. That's my choice, and never would I eat it just to please someone. And it's also my choice to make sure that if I'm serving guests, they eat what they want. In this case, OP isn't asking the hostess to change an entire party's menu. It's just two families. She's an adult, and she doesn't have to eat goat tongue if she doesn't want to, and she owes no one an explanation.

+1 I don't eat pork or drink alcohol and have no issue with declining either when at someone's home. Eat whatever you want - or not - without feeling guilty or bad about it as posters seem to be doing.

Which is fine, but OP did not have a 2-3 things she does not eat, she had a looong list of no-no's. The list of things she does it was 2-3 things.

So what? Who is she harming? She wants to eat 2-3 things, her choice.

[Anonymous]

If I'm the host, I'm serving what I'm serving, and anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have to eat it.

Picky eaters... don't come if you don't like it! Your whining presence and petulant complaints will not be missed.

[Anonymous]

If she's a foodie and you are not, you've obviously still remained friends. You must have bonded over other topics. I'd just bring it up sometime and say "I'm really not into the food things, I have my issues, lets do xzy instead".

I have friends into those vampire movies, or boardgames or salons. They know not to invite me to any of those things. I think it's the same deal here- better than providing your food rules or showing up with a sour face for the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I'm the host, I'm serving what I'm serving, and anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have to eat it.

Picky eaters... don't come if you don't like it! Your whining presence and petulant complaints will not be missed.

Well, OP did exactly as you suggested and declined the invitation. So now what's your problem? No one will be there to eat your food. See how this is a two-way street?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I'm the host, I'm serving what I'm serving, and anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have to eat it.

Picky eaters... don't come if you don't like it! Your whining presence and petulant complaints will not be missed.

Well, OP did exactly as you suggested and declined the invitation. So now what's your problem? No one will be there to eat your food. See how this is a two-way street?

I'll be there! Invite me!