How do I tell the foodie hosting me I'm a very picky eater?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
- I *have* tried many foods, and tried them many times. At a certain point though, don't you stop doing things you hate and just say "You know what? This is who I am" and find a way to make peace with it?[b] At a certain point you stop going to yoga or trying to become a golfer or get your hair to look good when you blow it out or stop trying to knit people sweaters. I'm tired of burning my tongue and not being able to taste anything for two or more days.

Yup. It makes sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thank you all for your opinions. I did decline. To clarify a few things:

-it wasn't a party, just her family having our family for dinner.

-the anxiety some of you picked up on from me was not anxiety over the food itself, but over once again rejecting her offer to host us. I know she loves to serve delicacies like goat tongue or whatever, and when her family comes to our house she happily eats whatever we serve and likes it, and we enjoy enough of an overlap of restaurants to go out to eat happily. I don't want her to worry we think her house is too dirty or something.

- I *have* tried many foods, and tried them many times. At a certain point though, don't you stop doing things you hate and just say "You know what? This is who I am" and find a way to make peace with it? At a certain point you stop going to yoga or trying to become a golfer or get your hair to look good when you blow it out or stop trying to knit people sweaters. I'm tired of burning my tongue and not being able to taste anything for two or more days.

- I'm 41. My kids like all the foods I like (except one of them objects to eating sea objects so won't eat any seafood, and one prefers her eggs cooked differently than I do). They like stuff I don't like too.

-when I'm at a sit-down dinner party, I do take a little of a few things and push them around my plate. but yes, when I'm at a party where the food is laid out and people just take as they want, I don't want to waste food by taking what I won't eat.

-I apologize if I was offensive in describing the chicken with sauce on it.

Ok op, you won me over. I think I have a sophisticated palate but I hate fish. I try and try and like you, think, why keep at it? It grosses me out. I'm sorry. Keep on keing on with what you like.

[Anonymous]

OP Some people ate a bit aggressive about people tasting exotic things at their house. Kind of a competition -- like everything else. Most people say they have a limited diet die to ... Allergies. Sensitivities. Stomach issues that areNOT discussed ! It is fine. I would not open the door to a big discussion. Unless you loved the one you just had on DCUM. Many people eat very little or very limited diets for many different reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you an albino 7 year old? Because your taste range is so limited that you sound like a child--or a person with an actual mental health issue or a person from the middle of nowhere who lacks any sort of imagination.

Oh please. I don't agree with OP necessarily but I don't think it's a child's palate. I think it's a typical "American" palate from 30 yrs ago -- frankly I still know small town people who think of Chinese as exotic foreign food. It just seems even more odd in the DC area where most people do eat many ethnic foods, but take her back to the middle of Kansas and she'd fit in just fine.

Ummmm....No, I don't think the diet she describes is the typical American diet of 30 years ago. Maybe in the midwest, but you are really discounting all of the wonderful flavors throughout the US. Maybe you aren't old enough to remember, but I am and believe me, we were not eating bland foods like the OP describes.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to chime in as a fellow picky eater with dietary restrictions.

It sucks.

I come from a family of foodies and get so sick of the food focused meals when what I am really interested in is good conversation, preferably about something other then food.

I was taught never to comment on food I didn't like and to do my best to eat a little, push it around and generally try not to draw attention to what I was/was not eating. This method served me well until recently when a developed stomach ulcers.

Now I have a long list of things I really cannot eat/drink - lick the OP no spicy food at all and also no alcohol, coffee, carbonated or citrus beverages. Often I really do find myself limited to bread and water at social events. It is so awkward and I try not to bring attention to my restrictions but it's suprising how many people feel the need to comment. I would suggest that it is just as rude to comment on what someone is or is not eating as it is to go on about your pickiness/food restrictions.

I wish I could make a deal with people, I won't bore you with what foods I don't/can't eat and you don't comment on what I am/or am not eating.

And an additional note about sauces - part of the problem for many with food restrictions is that frequently you really have no idea what's in it and if you are like me spices and condiments are a minefield.

[Anonymous]

Wow, compared to me you aren't picky at all! I avoid these kind of dinners like the plague. Not fun for me or the host. Other dinner things that I dread...tapas, sharing plates and pot luck. *shudder*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thank you all for your opinions. I did decline. To clarify a few things:

-the anxiety some of you picked up on from me was not anxiety over the food itself, but over once again rejecting her offer to host us. I know she loves to serve delicacies like goat tongue or whatever, and when her family comes to our house she happily eats whatever we serve and likes it, and we enjoy enough of an overlap of restaurants to go out to eat happily. I don't want her to worry we think her house is too dirty or something.

Then what you need to do is sometime between invitations when things are going well and comfortable, you need to invite her out for coffee or whatever so that you have an in-person one-on-one meeting with her. Explain that while you love her company, you are not at all an adventurous eater and don't really want to eat too much or too far outside your comfort zone at any given meal. While you are willing to try one or two new foods or tastes, that you can't handle too many new flavors or foods. You explain that you have declined her invitations because her menus are outside your comfort zone, but you don't want to alienate her or insult her cooking by accepting an invitation and then not eating much. Since you know that she pays attention to her guests and ensures that they have enough to eat and enjoy what they eat, that you feel it's better not to accept a meal invitation when fear you would be uncomfortable with most of the menu.

Then you stop and listen.

She may be very accommodating. If it were me, I'd have a usual menu and then add an entree that I knew would be safe for you and ask that you have that entree and still make the effort to sample some of the other things periodically to see if there was something that might expand your tastes. If she doesn't want to be accommodating, then at least she'll know why you don't accept her invitations.

What's rude is not your taste in food, but your aversion to dealing with the situation like an adult. Just ignoring the situation and not accepting her invites without explanation is childish.

[Anonymous]

People are really being unnecessarily harsh to you. I grew up eating spicy food and it's a regular part of my diet so no issue for me, but if I had a negative reaction to it, of course I wouldn't want to eat spicy as well.

You're absolutely right in your last post - after repeatedly trying something and it not working, yes, you can stop trying it.

[Anonymous]

I suspect that a the physical reaction is psychosomatic.

[Anonymous]

To give a different perspective - I am a hostess who loves to cook and have people over at my house. I have a neighbor who only likes meat and potatoes and she will come and pile her plate with food she knows that she will not eat and then throw it away.

I hate that. If you want to try foods, take no more than a bitesize sample, and if you do not like it then don't take any more.

If there are things that you do not think you will like at all - fish, goat tongue etc..don't put it in your plate in the first place.

Good manners is nothing more than common sense and being mindful of others, something that a good host and a good guest, should follow.

[Anonymous]

I say we hunt OP down and force her to eat Ethiopian--spongey delicious bread dipped in various red, green or brown sauce/paste super spicy--your butt hole will burn for days --so good!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect that a the physical reaction is psychosomatic.

I suspect you have many "psychosomatic" issues of your own, but since you love food, this seems completely unreasonable to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect that a the physical reaction is psychosomatic.

This was my thinking as well. If I was having such physical reactions to spice (which spice in particular??), I'd get myself to an allergist. For OP, it sounds more mentally rooted, than genetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous



I say we hunt OP down and force her to eat Ethiopian--spongey delicious bread dipped in various red, green or brown sauce/paste super spicy--your butt hole will burn for days --so good!

Gross!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thank you all for your opinions. I did decline. To clarify a few things:

-it wasn't a party, just her family having our family for dinner.

-the anxiety some of you picked up on from me was not anxiety over the food itself, but over once again rejecting her offer to host us. I know she loves to serve delicacies like goat tongue or whatever, and when her family comes to our house she happily eats whatever we serve and likes it, and we enjoy enough of an overlap of restaurants to go out to eat happily. I don't want her to worry we think her house is too dirty or something.

- I *have* tried many foods, and tried them many times. At a certain point though, don't you stop doing things you hate and just say "You know what? This is who I am" and find a way to make peace with it? At a certain point you stop going to yoga or trying to become a golfer or get your hair to look good when you blow it out or stop trying to knit people sweaters. I'm tired of burning my tongue and not being able to taste anything for two or more days.

- I'm 41. My kids like all the foods I like (except one of them objects to eating sea objects so won't eat any seafood, and one prefers her eggs cooked differently than I do). They like stuff I don't like too.

-when I'm at a sit-down dinner party, I do take a little of a few things and push them around my plate. but yes, when I'm at a party where the food is laid out and people just take as they want, I don't want to waste food by taking what I won't eat.

-I apologize if I was offensive in describing the chicken with sauce on it.

Maybe she doesn't like your food, and is just polite about it.

Please make sure your kids get to eat more variety for their health and wellbeing