I was raised by two gay dads. Ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

When not to get into the pool?

wearing a Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. pad and belt, were you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

If I remember correctly, OP is a mother. So I don't think she was scarred by her gay dads discussing menstruation with her.

Holy Mother of God!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

+1. Maybe it is instinct--trying to protect a family member from what others might view as a weakness, having witnessed the negative and cruel social treatment of said family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

Dear lord. I never, ever discussed any of those things with my mother! Based on the conversations I had with my friends, none of them did either. Somehow I survived anyway!

[Anonymous]

OK, 13:23, let's all agree that when our DDs have their first period we just hand them a box and tell them to read the instructions and not to leave the tampon (by itself) in "too long".

Let's all in showing our solidarity just hand the box over with instructions....ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

+1. Maybe it is instinct--trying to protect a family member from what others might view as a weakness, having witnessed the negative and cruel social treatment of said family member.

Yes, but it makes me feel sorry for these kids, that they can't speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

OP here. Look, I can, as I said above, only speak for myself. Being that I've never taken anything more than Tylenol a few times for cramps, never worn white when I have my period, and know what menopause is, I'm fairly confident my parents did a fine job herding me through puberty. You can be convinced all you want that girls need mothers, but I am a former girl, now woman, who will remain firmly convinced that girls just need good parents, regardless of gender. My parents were PLENTY "caring and involved" and I am being VERY real when I say that I would rather go through childhood with them than with some random, average mother/father combo. If you honestly think a man can't explain menopause or what causes cramps, then let's be real - you have sadly had the wrong men surrounding you in life. My fathers gave me a well-rounded childhood, which turned me into a much more open-minded person than you are (thank for proving my earlier point).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

OP here. Look, I can, as I said above, only speak for myself. Being that I've never taken anything more than Tylenol a few times for cramps, never worn white when I have my period, and know what menopause is, I'm fairly confident my parents did a fine job herding me through puberty. You can be convinced all you want that girls need mothers, but I am a former girl, now woman, who will remain firmly convinced that girls just need good parents, regardless of gender. My parents were PLENTY "caring and involved" and I am being VERY real when I say that I would rather go through childhood with them than with some random, average mother/father combo. If you honestly think a man can't explain menopause or what causes cramps, then let's be real - you have sadly had the wrong men surrounding you in life. My fathers gave me a well-rounded childhood, which turned me into a much more open-minded person than you are (thank for proving my earlier point).

Um, I don't think that men (or premenopausal women) can explain or describe menopause. I also don't think that men can describe or explain menstruation or how it feels to be pregnant or give birth. No woman can describe ejaculation or BPH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

OP here. Look, I can, as I said above, only speak for myself. Being that I've never taken anything more than Tylenol a few times for cramps, never worn white when I have my period, and know what menopause is, I'm fairly confident my parents did a fine job herding me through puberty. You can be convinced all you want that girls need mothers, but I am a former girl, now woman, who will remain firmly convinced that girls just need good parents, regardless of gender. My parents were PLENTY "caring and involved" and I am being VERY real when I say that I would rather go through childhood with them than with some random, average mother/father combo. If you honestly think a man can't explain menopause or what causes cramps, then let's be real - you have sadly had the wrong men surrounding you in life. My fathers gave me a well-rounded childhood, which turned me into a much more open-minded person than you are (thank for proving my earlier point).

+1

You sound like a good person, kudos to your parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, no one is saying that you did not have good parents. Your story sounds odd because I know FEW people who have no complaints about their parents.
That said, there are times when kids need to talk to folks of the same feather about certain issues.
If a family adopts a child from a different race, as that child grows, things come up. Racial discrimmnation and so on. Nothing wrong with getting outside counsel to help with that. Someone who has been in the same situation might be able to help the kid.
Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

OP here. Look, I can, as I said above, only speak for myself. Being that I've never taken anything more than Tylenol a few times for cramps, never worn white when I have my period, and know what menopause is, I'm fairly confident my parents did a fine job herding me through puberty. You can be convinced all you want that girls need mothers, but I am a former girl, now woman, who will remain firmly convinced that girls just need good parents, regardless of gender. My parents were PLENTY "caring and involved" and I am being VERY real when I say that I would rather go through childhood with them than with some random, average mother/father combo. If you honestly think a man can't explain menopause or what causes cramps, then let's be real - you have sadly had the wrong men surrounding you in life. My fathers gave me a well-rounded childhood, which turned me into a much more open-minded person than you are (thank for proving my earlier point).

Um, I don't think that men (or premenopausal women) can explain or describe menopause. I also don't think that men can describe or explain menstruation or how it feels to be pregnant or give birth. No woman can describe ejaculation or BPH.

and?

So let's just ban ALL MEN from being OBGyns, right? b/c that's how an idiot thinks

Furthermore, her fathers knew enough to get her through her period w/o buying into that bullshit of "celebrating" it as a milestone! Let's throw a party in honor of our monthly bleeding!

They got her through. She knows the birds and the bees.

so many homophobes on this forum - and even more women who think men are morons

Pull the sticks from your asses and admit that you're flawed, ladies! OP's doing just fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, no one is saying that you did not have good parents. Your story sounds odd because I know FEW people who have no complaints about their parents.
That said, there are times when kids need to talk to folks of the same feather about certain issues.
If a family adopts a child from a different race, as that child grows, things come up. Racial discrimmnation and so on. Nothing wrong with getting outside counsel to help with that. Someone who has been in the same situation might be able to help the kid.
Just saying.

wow

So nothing's "normal" on these threads unless someone's fucked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, 13:23, let's all agree that when our DDs have their first period we just hand them a box and tell them to read the instructions and not to leave the tampon (by itself) in "too long".

Let's all in showing our solidarity just hand the box over with instructions....ridiculous.

You're ridiculously stupid.

I shudder thinking about how you'll be showing your daughter what to do with a tampon.

weirdo

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymousand?

So let's just ban ALL MEN from being OBGyns, right? b/c that's how an idiot thinks

Furthermore, her fathers knew enough to get her through her period w/o buying into that bullshit of "celebrating" it as a milestone! Let's throw a party in honor of our monthly bleeding!

They got her through. She knows the birds and the bees.

so many homophobes on this forum - and even more women who think men are morons

Pull the sticks from your asses and admit that you're flawed, ladies! OP's doing just fine!

There are female urologists and male OBGYNs I don't expect my doctor to experience my conditions. My rheumatologist does not have to have SLE.
This is about family.
I frankly think that OP has a point to prove and I don't buy it.
If she had just been a teensy bit more realistic, I would have bought it.
In reality, I get a sense that she is a bit angry. It might be because of the anti gay rhetoric, but still, I get a sense that there is some anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

My mom never explained any of those things or showed me how to use a tampon... I learned how to do that from the box too! And it wasn't like my mom was close minded or aloof- I don't think it occurred to her to tell me those things. I took "life ed" in school so knew the basics anyway. (Never heard the term menstrual diarrhea though.. And the pool thing doesn't apply if you wear tampons.). I think moms these days are much more hands on. (I'm 40.)